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EnnaStark
Oh this was some really good story development! It feels a little hurried but I really enjoyed this chapter! Have you read Hush, Hush or Fallen? Those two books kind of seem a bit like this one. Well it almost seems like it has certain elements of Splendor Falls too. Very good so far!
8 years agoReply
madwoman-with-a-pen
I've read Hush, Hush, but not Fallen. Hush, Hush was pretty frustrating though, really didn't like the main character :/ thanks for the feedback!!
8 years agoReply
EnnaStark
@madwoman-with-a-pen, Nora was a bit ditsy in my opinion. I enjoyed Patch as a character a lot more...
8 years agoReply
madwoman-with-a-pen
I conpletely agree! I thought that especially in the second and third books, Nora was REALLY clingy.
8 years agoReply
Nicole Armas
I'm really enjoying this! Some questions have been raised in this chapter that I hope will be answered in later chapters; it's rather intriguing. My only criticism is perhaps there should be more description of the characters in terms of what they look like so a reader can get a better visualization of them.
8 years agoReply
madwoman-with-a-pen
Thanks for the advice!! I'll keep that in mind when I write the next chapter.
8 years agoReply
Ramen Noodles
I am still enjoying the progress of the story and anything I have to say has already been said in my first review in regards to descriptions, pace, and length. Although externally the story feels narrow in what the reader can see currently, internally the bigger picture of our MC gets wider. I also noticed in regards to punctuation of dialogue some errors, but that is an editing issue and not a story one. The question posed at the end of this chapter. Are you an Angel striked me is very interesting because of the meaning that one sentence could hold for this story. Is our MC truly as good as she originally appeared to be and innocent? Is anybody? I hope to see more of this story's potential fleshed out!
8 years agoReply
madwoman-with-a-pen
Thank you!! I'm so happy that you're enjoying my story. I'll be sure to read over and edit the next chapter before I post it :)
8 years agoReply
Songlee
I like your story so far! Nice and vivid narrations with no excessive embellishments!
8 years agoReply
madwoman-with-a-pen
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it :)
8 years agoReply
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