Man, Inifinity's kinda savage :3 The guy literally had to pick between his kid brother and the girl he met a month or two ago, and even AFTER that, he went back and saved her... And she still won't even speak to him. Oof.
I mean, he was mad sketchy, but still...
I enjoyed the read, though! I thought the romance aspect was especially interesting, as it's written more for a female audience (from my interpretation), which meant I was able to learn a lot from your style. Definitely curious to see where book 2 goes (especially with that necromancy question).
The plot itself was... Interesting though. I feel like we were just starting to get answers, and then they frickin' burned the White House down :3 I hope book 2 explains it more.
thanks for the AWESOME reading material and the replies! Fall Of Empires... I'm coming for you... tomorrow. AND IT BETTER NOT BE SAD. though i have a funny feeling it probably is...
And now for my FoA review. I’d rather cut to the chase here… I’ll be doing this like a “glows and grows” sort of thing, even if it sounds childish, because I think it’s sufficient and effective.
GLOWS:
Writing style. There’s something about your voice that makes it distinct and elegant, and yet it’s simple and clear at the same time. I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like it so much, but I think that’s at least a rough explanation as to why.
Description. Similar to the previous point, you tend to tie description in with narration, therefore moving the plot forward without missing out on any visual details, and not slowing down the plot while allowing a strong vision of what the scene is like.
Emotion. You can tug the strings right. Anger, sympathy, and sadness seem to be the main three feelings you know how to get out of your readers. Anger at Cameo, sympathy for him and Infinity, and sadness for, well… the world in general. Your characters are real, flawed, and readers can get invested in them.
GROWS:
It appears to me that a lot of the grows circle more around the plot itself rather than technical or sentence level details. Bear in mind that any criticism is not stated with malice, but rather good will and the intention of helping you improve.
Pacing and exposition. Pacing seems to be the most prominent issue, or at least in the beginning it is. More or less, things happen quite abruptly at the start. There should be at least some gap of time to learn about the world and when the Fall of Ages was first announced and heard about, and, especially, to learn about Infinity. Personally I would just prefer the first chapter and/or prologue to focus on not just the boy who watches Infinity, but also things like: her family (a “Kyla” was mentioned but we never learned who exactly she was) or backstory (explaining it briefly, mind you), and how she felt when she first heard about the Fall of Ages. Such a large event like FoA would probably be announced on TV or some event would’ve happened that would trigger it. Maybe Fin could’ve struggled to sleep after hearing the news, frightened because her life is at stake, and then Cameo steps into play. One last thing - persuasion. I find that it would normally take a person a lot more persuasion to actually get them out of their house to travel to a faraway remote place — away from their family and friends. It would probably take some arguing or debating until you can win them over and take them with you.
Romance. The romance here isn’t badly written, mind you, but I do notice a few issues with it. Bear in mind that these could just be my opinions. I personally find that the romance sort of… happened a bit too fast (once again, that could be a personal preference) for my liking.0
CONCLUSION:
Let’s say I had to give this book a rating, 1-5. Considering decimals, I’d take a 3.9. Now, that’s not to discourage you, as that’s usually a fairly good rating to me. I did enjoy reading this book and I’d say it’s a fiery first installment to the trilogy, kicking off with the right amount of action and tension, while also setting the right energy and vibe for the rest of the series.I look forward to reading the next novel, Fall of Empires. Keep writing. :)
I mean, he was mad sketchy, but still...
I enjoyed the read, though! I thought the romance aspect was especially interesting, as it's written more for a female audience (from my interpretation), which meant I was able to learn a lot from your style. Definitely curious to see where book 2 goes (especially with that necromancy question).
The plot itself was... Interesting though. I feel like we were just starting to get answers, and then they frickin' burned the White House down :3 I hope book 2 explains it more.
hm.
might just have to read the next book.
thanks for the AWESOME reading material and the replies! Fall Of Empires... I'm coming for you... tomorrow. AND IT BETTER NOT BE SAD. though i have a funny feeling it probably is...
I don't know maybe sad works best.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!!!
Ok this just sounds stupid compared to the previous comment ಥ_ಥ
I’ll be doing this like a “glows and grows” sort of thing, even if it sounds childish, because I think it’s sufficient and effective.
GLOWS:
Writing style. There’s something about your voice that makes it distinct and elegant, and yet it’s simple and clear at the same time. I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like it so much, but I think that’s at least a rough explanation as to why.
Description. Similar to the previous point, you tend to tie description in with narration, therefore moving the plot forward without missing out on any visual details, and not slowing down the plot while allowing a strong vision of what the scene is like.
Emotion. You can tug the strings right. Anger, sympathy, and sadness seem to be the main three feelings you know how to get out of your readers. Anger at Cameo, sympathy for him and Infinity, and sadness for, well… the world in general. Your characters are real, flawed, and readers can get invested in them.
GROWS:
It appears to me that a lot of the grows circle more around the plot itself rather than technical or sentence level details. Bear in mind that any criticism is not stated with malice, but rather good will and the intention of helping you improve.
Pacing and exposition. Pacing seems to be the most prominent issue, or at least in the beginning it is. More or less, things happen quite abruptly at the start. There should be at least some gap of time to learn about the world and when the Fall of Ages was first announced and heard about, and, especially, to learn about Infinity. Personally I would just prefer the first chapter and/or prologue to focus on not just the boy who watches Infinity, but also things like: her family (a “Kyla” was mentioned but we never learned who exactly she was) or backstory (explaining it briefly, mind you), and how she felt when she first heard about the Fall of Ages. Such a large event like FoA would probably be announced on TV or some event would’ve happened that would trigger it. Maybe Fin could’ve struggled to sleep after hearing the news, frightened because her life is at stake, and then Cameo steps into play. One last thing - persuasion. I find that it would normally take a person a lot more persuasion to actually get them out of their house to travel to a faraway remote place — away from their family and friends. It would probably take some arguing or debating until you can win them over and take them with you.
Romance. The romance here isn’t badly written, mind you, but I do notice a few issues with it. Bear in mind that these could just be my opinions. I personally find that the romance sort of… happened a bit too fast (once again, that could be a personal preference) for my liking.0
CONCLUSION:
Let’s say I had to give this book a rating, 1-5. Considering decimals, I’d take a 3.9. Now, that’s not to discourage you, as that’s usually a fairly good rating to me. I did enjoy reading this book and I’d say it’s a fiery first installment to the trilogy, kicking off with the right amount of action and tension, while also setting the right energy and vibe for the rest of the series.I look forward to reading the next novel, Fall of Empires. Keep writing. :)
Second of all, I have been toying with some ideas in FoE that will address at least one of those issues.
Thank you so much!!!