I really like Walker! He’s a contrast from Haruki and being a snake-vampire seems pretty cool. I think the minor error is just dialogue. Often times when “he said” or “she said” (or exclaimed, muttered, etc.) is attached to a piece of dialogue, that dialogue ends with a comma.
Ex: “Nice look, Caloway,” Dad says. (Might not have been the exact quotation)
(If an action is attached to a dialogue (ex: “No.” He shook his head.) then the dialogue can end in a period or the applicable punctuation mark.)
But overall, I enjoyed this chapter quite a lot! I can’t wait for the next installment. Keep writing, Light!
Ah! Thank you so much, I'll be sure to go through in my next Chapter Update and apply the corrections from above. Can't wait to see you in the next chapter, Cheeto!
I think the minor error is just dialogue. Often times when “he said” or “she said” (or exclaimed, muttered, etc.) is attached to a piece of dialogue, that dialogue ends with a comma.
Ex: “Nice look, Caloway,” Dad says. (Might not have been the exact quotation)
(If an action is attached to a dialogue (ex: “No.” He shook his head.) then the dialogue can end in a period or the applicable punctuation mark.)
But overall, I enjoyed this chapter quite a lot! I can’t wait for the next installment. Keep writing, Light!