This story really starts off with a bang! There's lots of excitement and the town you've created seems really cool and I can't wait to find out more about it.
However, you do have the tendency to repeat yourself. Like saying Astrid is smart and then mentioning it again a few sentences down. Trust that the readers will remember this fact about her. You also tend to use the same words multiple times in one paragraph. "Romantic" is used several times in the beginning and you should think about exchanging some. And you switch from past to present tense. So try to pick one and stay with it (I'm guilty of this too).
Also, be careful that you don't "tell" the audience too much. Try to "show" how Sam and Astrid feel by their expressions or their body language. Also Sam commits acts of violence twice, but his victims don't really react. I would think they'd at least scream.
But this is an excellent first draft and I can read a lot of potential here.
However, you do have the tendency to repeat yourself. Like saying Astrid is smart and then mentioning it again a few sentences down. Trust that the readers will remember this fact about her. You also tend to use the same words multiple times in one paragraph. "Romantic" is used several times in the beginning and you should think about exchanging some. And you switch from past to present tense. So try to pick one and stay with it (I'm guilty of this too).
Also, be careful that you don't "tell" the audience too much. Try to "show" how Sam and Astrid feel by their expressions or their body language. Also Sam commits acts of violence twice, but his victims don't really react. I would think they'd at least scream.
But this is an excellent first draft and I can read a lot of potential here.