The story is great, but please use grammerly to help with punctuation. Too many commas and barely any full stops. Two commas - maximum - per sentence, please. People who use a screen reader (people with sight difficulties) will not be able to enjoy this story as it reads too quickly, and with weird toneage to the voice/reader AI, as it’s expecting a different sentence structure. (Try the iPhone: ‘Settings’, ‘Accessiblilty’, ‘Spoken Content’, ‘Speak Screen’).