About old claims: I remember watching a short documentary about these two women who were sexually abused by nuns and the documentary stated that it takes rape/abuse victims DECADES to fully process and comprehend what happened to them, let alone talk about it. The shame and stigma surrounded being a victim of such crimes certainly doesn't help. I wish people would take things like that more seriously but somehow it's always the victim that get the short end of the stick.
Exactly! Some people wonder why victims don't immediately report to the police what happened, but they don't realize how hard it is to come forward about these types of things. There are so many reasons why a victim wouldn't come forward right away: the perpetrator has threatened them, they don't think they'll be believed or taken seriously, they feel ashamed or as if it's their fault, or like you said-- they are still trying to understand what happened. Plus, the victim isn't usually shown much empathy or kindness by the officials. Thank you for the comments; you always have such well-said and eloquent answers to difficult subjects.
I can't believe that a sane person would say - she WANTED to be raped! It does not even pass the simplest logic test. The moment one of the parties does not want to do it, it is rape, clean and simple.
This article made me think and I want to hear your thoughts on a hypothetical situation. A boy and a girl, both super drunk and not much into thinking at the moment, go on and have sex. The next day the girl (I am choosing her, due to the emphasis of the article) thinks that it was a huge and world shattering mistake (she doesn't like the guy really! what would her friends/family say?) panics and declares that she was raped. In such case of "she-said'he-said" situation, what should be done? And I emphasize again, at the moment of the act both agreed to do it.
First of all, I would like to clarify something. I agree, it is unbelievably stupid for people to even suggest that the victim ever wanted to be raped. Of course she didn't want to be raped. Maybe she initially wanted to have sex with the perpetrator, but changes her mind and says, "Stop". If the perpetrator keeps going and doesn't listen to her, that makes it rape. I'm simply saying that some people slut-shame the victim and make it seem as if it was her fault or as if it wasn't actually rape, when it was.
I will try to answer your question to the best of my ability, but it's complicated. If one or both of the people participating in sex are under the influence, it's difficult to discern whether it was consensual. She may have wanted to have sex in the moment, but that consent could have been caused by the alchohol. Under normal circumstances, I would guess neither of them would want to have sex with each other. But I don't think that it's acceptable for the girl to have accused him of rape just because she regretted the sex. Yes, she might feel ashamed and guilty, but I don't think that it justifies possibly landing him in jail and ruining his reputation (although knowing how messed up our current society is, the perpetrator hardly ever gets any punishment in cases even in which he is completely guilty). It's definitely not good to make up rape stories because if proven false, they discredit other victims who were actually raped. I don't think that what the girl did was right, but the story is a little unrealistic, and hard to have a good, clear anwer to.
@BedazzledBlue, Thank you for the answer. I totally agree with you, and I too believe that, as soon as one says Stop! and the other ignores it, it is a rape. I can't really understand people who will slut-shame someone over such thing. It is sad.
And thank you for entertaining my question. It truly is a bit unrealistic, but knowing human nature, it is not totally out of the realm of possibility. Still, you did a very good job with such a heavy topic.
This article made me think and I want to hear your thoughts on a hypothetical situation. A boy and a girl, both super drunk and not much into thinking at the moment, go on and have sex. The next day the girl (I am choosing her, due to the emphasis of the article) thinks that it was a huge and world shattering mistake (she doesn't like the guy really! what would her friends/family say?) panics and declares that she was raped. In such case of "she-said'he-said" situation, what should be done? And I emphasize again, at the moment of the act both agreed to do it.
I will try to answer your question to the best of my ability, but it's complicated. If one or both of the people participating in sex are under the influence, it's difficult to discern whether it was consensual. She may have wanted to have sex in the moment, but that consent could have been caused by the alchohol. Under normal circumstances, I would guess neither of them would want to have sex with each other. But I don't think that it's acceptable for the girl to have accused him of rape just because she regretted the sex. Yes, she might feel ashamed and guilty, but I don't think that it justifies possibly landing him in jail and ruining his reputation (although knowing how messed up our current society is, the perpetrator hardly ever gets any punishment in cases even in which he is completely guilty). It's definitely not good to make up rape stories because if proven false, they discredit other victims who were actually raped. I don't think that what the girl did was right, but the story is a little unrealistic, and hard to have a good, clear anwer to.
And thank you for entertaining my question. It truly is a bit unrealistic, but knowing human nature, it is not totally out of the realm of possibility. Still, you did a very good job with such a heavy topic.