This was a pretty interesting first chapter! I didn't quite expect the story to head in this direction (judging by the description), but I think I'll like it. There were a few things I'd fix, however. First, a bit of housekeeping (aka grammar). For the most part, your grammar is great. There were only a few things, such as lack of capitalization (i.e. i instead of I, the first letters of a few sentences, tv instead of TV [the general capitalization, anyway]). Now, for the actual writing style, I didn't have a problem with it except for one thing. Don't get me wrong; it's easy to follow and does a pretty good job of communicating the characters' feelings, but the way the paragraphs are broken up (basically every line) is a bit distracting and can cut off the reader's attention. Overall, however, I liked the chapter. Keep it up! :)
There were a few things I'd fix, however. First, a bit of housekeeping (aka grammar). For the most part, your grammar is great. There were only a few things, such as lack of capitalization (i.e. i instead of I, the first letters of a few sentences, tv instead of TV [the general capitalization, anyway]). Now, for the actual writing style, I didn't have a problem with it except for one thing. Don't get me wrong; it's easy to follow and does a pretty good job of communicating the characters' feelings, but the way the paragraphs are broken up (basically every line) is a bit distracting and can cut off the reader's attention.
Overall, however, I liked the chapter. Keep it up! :)