It's not really a big deal but I thought I'd point it out nevertheless cause the whole thing would be perfect if it's corrected a bit. So I'm not sure if the first paragraph of the words "...their bruised prides" is supposed to be that or the other way of "Their prides, bruised". I just thought it sounded better if it's the latter but correct me if I'm wrong.
Second, I think putting two s in 'yes's' is a bit redundant when the word 'yes' would suffice the meaning of it. Definitely not wanting to sound like a grammar freak here but I can't resist pointing it out so hope you're not annoyed or mad xp
That aside, your stories are absolutely awesome and I enjoyed reading it, my favorite part of this chapter would be the part where Diana was heatedly asking if she'd seen any Gods/Goddesses and Fay totally answered in a nonchalant manner that she had. A witty and quite a savage retort. I love the reactions from the twins too. Great job! :)
Second, I think putting two s in 'yes's' is a bit redundant when the word 'yes' would suffice the meaning of it. Definitely not wanting to sound like a grammar freak here but I can't resist pointing it out so hope you're not annoyed or mad xp
That aside, your stories are absolutely awesome and I enjoyed reading it, my favorite part of this chapter would be the part where Diana was heatedly asking if she'd seen any Gods/Goddesses and Fay totally answered in a nonchalant manner that she had. A witty and quite a savage retort. I love the reactions from the twins too. Great job! :)