Well, I'm gonna start off by saying "FIRST!" Now then, this seems to be an interesting story. I do feel for poor Damian. No one wants to ever witness that happen. His father, however, he's just a terrible man, huh? I will congratulate you and your co-writers for making this story. I will also point out, just to help, the use of punctuation. Some of your sentences appear to be runons and could use a period or semicolon. Other than that, keep up the good work! -Tenshi
Thanks for the wonderful feedback! If you want to i have other stories too. This is so awesome because it's hard to right knowing that someone might not see it at all.
Now then, this seems to be an interesting story. I do feel for poor Damian. No one wants to ever witness that happen. His father, however, he's just a terrible man, huh? I will congratulate you and your co-writers for making this story. I will also point out, just to help, the use of punctuation. Some of your sentences appear to be runons and could use a period or semicolon. Other than that, keep up the good work!
-Tenshi