I love me some steam punk, and I'm interested to see where this goes...*Warning! Brutally Honest Reviewer Here!* From a writing standpoint, the introduction could stand to hold a little more meat, so to speak. Though I want to continue reading, it's to learn details of the narrative, not necessarily because the story has captured me yet. I'll continue though, and let you know where I am as I go along. Solid start!
This seems really interesting! I've never read this genre but I think I'll probably like it a lot! I would just recommend in some places to try and combine sentences instead of having a whole bunch of shorter sentences, then as a result you wouldn't be using 'she' over and over, as that can become a little monotonous.
First book in the steampunk genre that I read was Girl in the Steel Corset. It remains one of my all time favorite books. Leviathan was my second steampunk book, then Cinder.
This story is very similar to The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer. I'm not sure if this was intentional or not and I don't mean to offend you but the similarities do come across a little plagiaristic. Maybe rethink a few things?
Thanks for pointing that out! I'll rewrite a few bits. It's just that the first chapter is similar; I'm planning on adding a few plot points like the government that's actually on EARTH is killing cyborgs. Also Plague ships attack people. The people infected with the Plague basically become zombie-like. So yeah, the first chapter is a bit like it, but the rest isn't. Thanks for telling me though! I've gone back and edited it now, so it should be a bit better!
From a writing standpoint, the introduction could stand to hold a little more meat, so to speak. Though I want to continue reading, it's to learn details of the narrative, not necessarily because the story has captured me yet. I'll continue though, and let you know where I am as I go along. Solid start!