The style is interesting, though it seems to be lacking something to really keep me hooked, and there are enough punctuation errors to make it a bit difficult to read. May I suggest having a beta edit it? There is a lot of potential, and I do look forward to see just what you are capable of doing with your story. I am curious as to his purpose in the expedition, so that does leave for a bit of a mystery at the time.
I am curious as to his purpose in the expedition, so that does leave for a bit of a mystery at the time.