Very nice. The descriptions were good, and I got the full picture of what this story is going to be about. Looks like this could be the start of a fun adventure. Looking forward to the ride.
There were some typos as well as some past and present tense inconsistencies, but a little more proofreading could probably knock those out quickly.
There were some typos as well as some past and present tense inconsistencies, but a little more proofreading could probably knock those out quickly.
Overall, good job! :)