That was pretty bad. Stuff happened way too fast. It was all like "Guess what this thing is happening and now this thing is happening!" Also the writing sacrificed being good for comedy that doesn't land. "Some sort of big ass monkey man with white fur running around like a moronic child chasing an ice-cream truck" Is such a convoluted unfunny joke that no human being who isn't a posh man from the 1910s would say. And "The most definitely a yeti" Joke also doesn't land. And you repeat it. Also why are multiple people sharing therapy sessions? And no therapist would lash out at their clients like that? And the characters were very hollow. We never get any development throughout the story and they're all just unlikeable weirdos. I imagine that's what you were going for but its still bad. They never feel fear, they never feel remorse for their friend. It truly feels like you sacrificed good story telling to try and be quirky and it didn't work. Was it supposed to be a shitpost?
Thx for the feedback. But I don't really make stories for other people's enjoyment. I mean, it is good if other people enjoy it, but I just do it for myself so I don't really care at all about this character development and stuff. My friend and I came up with this story so I decided to publish it on Penana because I thought it was pretty funny and weird so I just uploaded it here. But thx anyway.
@Bengolong, yeah, I just think stories are a way to just spill out everything. I come up with random stuff in the middle of the night and I just want to tell it to someone or just put it out there. That's why I dont take these stuff so much seriously.
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