OMg noOO that is so funny tho sad about the dad tho, I believe you deserve the best of the best, I wish I could meet you and your fam bro, I want to see how much of a facade they put on so that I can jump scare and be like ha I know all of your secrets pft-
also i first read "satan" as santa????
evil santa???? I'm scarred for life.
honestly i think santa would SWEEP the competition