尋死的念頭一出現,我就被自己給嚇到了。535Please respect copyright.PENANAkjD5Il6xP9
535Please respect copyright.PENANABrQAXakf4o
「妳瘋了嗎?」535Please respect copyright.PENANAOgsrllv8nE
535Please respect copyright.PENANAD9p91CSWek
腦裡出現兩個我,理性的那個正在發飆,狠狠咒罵另一個我。535Please respect copyright.PENANAluORgXcJnE
535Please respect copyright.PENANAVFR3mfg1eY
而被罵的那個我,只是一個勁兒地哭。535Please respect copyright.PENANA2X1vtbWia1
535Please respect copyright.PENANAWnrAvCzAiW
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事,便躲進被窩,用厚厚的被子蓋住全身,連頭都包在棉被裡,不讓任何光線進來。535Please respect copyright.PENANAfyrBmAooCO
535Please respect copyright.PENANA9asGvSOGBy
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡,我全身是汗,滿臉淚水。535Please respect copyright.PENANAUCzedh3faS
535Please respect copyright.PENANAET1566YqeS
我側身把臉埋進枕頭,把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。535Please respect copyright.PENANAO3FygGHWxl
535Please respect copyright.PENANAJbY8hRdolg
535Please respect copyright.PENANAG1foI78Raa
我往自己的腳下看,有一片草原。535Please respect copyright.PENANAEQTUqKnCrj
535Please respect copyright.PENANApCK0hkatKb
面前有一條石頭道路,盡頭是顆大樹。535Please respect copyright.PENANAEuEiljydaI
535Please respect copyright.PENANAU01uWHL0ea
樹下站著一個人,太遠了,我看不清他的臉。535Please respect copyright.PENANArbRnW2L7mU
535Please respect copyright.PENANAFiXkQCbjrJ
所以我走近,愈走愈近,直到我看清楚他是誰。535Please respect copyright.PENANAbWoFNXpiGb
535Please respect copyright.PENANAgmb1f3xpxN
站在樹下的人是英傑。535Please respect copyright.PENANAZk1TvlHBVp
535Please respect copyright.PENANAusuLx5SExH
我跑向他,勾住他的手。535Please respect copyright.PENANASWI9lrwSIt
535Please respect copyright.PENANAJa9rCchnQ9
他對我笑著,什麼話也沒說。535Please respect copyright.PENANAkO0RaSqhDy
535Please respect copyright.PENANAMJUgEvL1ns
我像是要把這些日子以來,所有發生的事情都告訴他,開始滔滔不絕地講。535Please respect copyright.PENANAq9dLJjzI5v
535Please respect copyright.PENANA2wnEwxIAzT
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方,就停下來。535Please respect copyright.PENANAWQ6Xh6Ub9J
535Please respect copyright.PENANAVS2TTzUgHx
我還在講,他轉頭看我,伸出手揉了我的頭,就像他每次做的那樣。535Please respect copyright.PENANAYd6K2IKkm8
535Please respect copyright.PENANAgcExWCwG4b
535Please respect copyright.PENANAcYknBnYwxT
我張開眼睛,才知道自己夢見英傑了。535Please respect copyright.PENANAQNOPoN68Of
535Please respect copyright.PENANALKHipHYNgO
535Please respect copyright.PENANAx9wC33giAY
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。535Please respect copyright.PENANArXtMqrvq2A
535Please respect copyright.PENANAnkMvPCNtKe
是太想念英傑了,還是壓力太大需要出口?535Please respect copyright.PENANAvo48pqr1bs
535Please respect copyright.PENANAmUEAY0qnHS
或是…他真的怎麼了,才到我夢裡來?535Please respect copyright.PENANABmdaUMu14T
535Please respect copyright.PENANAbyMhx0LiLl
我心裡很害怕是後者,但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。535Please respect copyright.PENANAASOHrWwLft
535Please respect copyright.PENANAj1MNhCLT51
這個夢緩解了我的情緒,也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。535Please respect copyright.PENANAXloYuxKckL
535Please respect copyright.PENANAWErG1P0m0Z
不管是什麼原因,都是英傑救了我。535Please respect copyright.PENANAVVd0cnb4FC
535Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZyqGm85uM
535Please respect copyright.PENANAmnASaSiaeC
我度過了心中的那個坎,日子雖然沒有改變,但我的心態改變了。535Please respect copyright.PENANAv0RCErXvsJ
535Please respect copyright.PENANAvLAD6G0kIl
「沒錯,都是我選的。所以,我要更努力才行。」535Please respect copyright.PENANAxuHzxaIWxi
535Please respect copyright.PENANAJTZNGwnLyq
雖然,從那個時候開始,過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮,但我很幸運,擁有很多好朋友,如果我開口,他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我;就算我死愛面子不開口,他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢,繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。535Please respect copyright.PENANA7NFEUx9bWi
535Please respect copyright.PENANAYLfutOKCsi
高中的最後一個學期,我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學(當時已有就學貸款,但沒有考慮,只想著沒錢就去賺錢,別念書好了),但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學,硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡,要我慢慢還,要我和他們一起畢業。535Please respect copyright.PENANAp4CiJwrRZw
535Please respect copyright.PENANAyxYQBbqYx2
我沒參加考試,畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢,卻欠了好多人情債。535Please respect copyright.PENANAGGalOkE3z6
535Please respect copyright.PENANAOp26XbjaXF
535Please respect copyright.PENANAhwPnVSUl7o
生活條件穩定之後,也談了戀愛,生活圈的人換了幾輪,越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。535Please respect copyright.PENANAJl1r9B1h1w
535Please respect copyright.PENANAaQOLlRlue3
我還是沒有更換手機號碼,一直抱著小小的希望,535Please respect copyright.PENANAXtSt5sfe6l
535Please respect copyright.PENANA32itHOVZgi
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。535Please respect copyright.PENANAm98TAPC7oQ
535Please respect copyright.PENANAbGdmYmvO6o
535Please respect copyright.PENANAoVSkZxUKoH
某天,我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了,找也找不到。535Please respect copyright.PENANA8866YjEq4c
535Please respect copyright.PENANAwOyBGB2SXs
我辦了卡片掛失,心裡希望有人撿到皮夾,會願意送還給我。535Please respect copyright.PENANADFOg3kLq79
535Please respect copyright.PENANAtu8hym6fbc
這時,我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片,也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。535Please respect copyright.PENANA6tOKtRrCcg
535Please respect copyright.PENANAqO6h4JgRnI
535Please respect copyright.PENANACkxWYCzh43
我的皮夾沒回來,英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。535Please respect copyright.PENANA0Gsjjim8tG
535Please respect copyright.PENANAWnU9pP9U94
有時候,我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相,便努力回想那段日子,但畫面只是越來越模糊。535Please respect copyright.PENANAMYjtUoLAbs
535Please respect copyright.PENANAohwFqNGBei
一年、兩年、三年,當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候,我卻看見他了。535Please respect copyright.PENANAWykb8Fdu5M
535Please respect copyright.PENANA1dcb1179Uv
535Please respect copyright.PENANAlDzxZTArI6
在電視裡面。535Please respect copyright.PENANAHn9n3hcz5x
535Please respect copyright.PENANAv6Uawvu9dU
535Please respect copyright.PENANAowxbi63vP8
535Please respect copyright.PENANAyEVB8R5IlR
待續。
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