尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcl7RUmjOs
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZRldvNGza
「妳瘋了嗎？」511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrxs8IfaHv
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisialQjnFC
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkKFVt9doA
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52W5P6PMrU
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiAgNtAmK5
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11BcthHHeM
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBq7XMbDLFG
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1RVPzMHN1
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWprONv5Jx
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZ27tVvhlq
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jrCSO9kR4
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uKOZAt6BJ
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LKyTkGwhr
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPcYbuhd7n
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv92WRIQtDv
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBccKeC0hXH
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11w2HQBiDU
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAydLxPCld
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiD6IpfKKc
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9TbZJ3eMq
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSDIFQQQ6A
站在樹下的人是英傑。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrxUuH7OhT
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFsWeV72oJ
我跑向他，勾住他的手。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpcS3ISISh
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXervLicqqZ
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQw3KRZAeKl
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrciDfoWlXp
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvwTP4P3dc
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3gaiZ1ESm
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzhvQi6mZu
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdYG396YD8
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMxHHskXK9
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnKr87vHRW
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiU20nvWDv
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeXvcAqpfc
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5IQGuxCFP
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rGrPfU1E6
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz06VCF2xLy
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPYRHUlCbf
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTyaSZSulD
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0junuQo1q
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyXeVNjQoN
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHfLE29F9E
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzQthti3Aa
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3uZUT2SYn
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXH3CTDzlg
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYenNOocBRN
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmEE9PMo5z
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28ISZo2Dcv
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirElHfzrha
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbu0BVmi3kW
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPM7AedFEC
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu69dqPWLMf
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FhNLCt0N9
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyTLJ0trNv
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRzrvEwBVo
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhtolJWEOz
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LAkrvasmZ
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvipznsHtH
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjj74wsar5U
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFXlbjFPH7
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡublyAVKzGo
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUW1cN3GlRF
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VEhgKoYkX
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl56jilwGz
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6LNPJmokP
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8ZdGHO7BN
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgrLeadbif
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8akIyWemqJ
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoj2WImGcKG
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIeDSXPkZX
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXyt1pBLuk
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalXWUgV5JM
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjC4JMFukcv
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCxdGo7849
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbUdWBVvF5
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGKNz5LJEx
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk60NQk9l4k
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxm95vSLHO4
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSQNdUKJHV
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvNU73Bp4S
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahO0SdSmm1
在電視裡面。511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNj1il16Le0
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidtlPMgCpf
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIWII3Axfv
511Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DLaZugNhm
待續。
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