尋死的念頭一出現,我就被自己給嚇到了。492Please respect copyright.PENANAiLYYIVvBlP
492Please respect copyright.PENANAo8SAdNxXBu
「妳瘋了嗎?」492Please respect copyright.PENANADrKYuePD5w
492Please respect copyright.PENANAYcvb5sfvHW
腦裡出現兩個我,理性的那個正在發飆,狠狠咒罵另一個我。492Please respect copyright.PENANAQ0BdNUv86I
492Please respect copyright.PENANA9XPZEIbuXr
而被罵的那個我,只是一個勁兒地哭。492Please respect copyright.PENANA0QTd2Hv2QU
492Please respect copyright.PENANAdkuaxjRP6H
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事,便躲進被窩,用厚厚的被子蓋住全身,連頭都包在棉被裡,不讓任何光線進來。492Please respect copyright.PENANARkBSPOSi8n
492Please respect copyright.PENANAK7JS0t5hPS
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡,我全身是汗,滿臉淚水。492Please respect copyright.PENANAiQwv6K6VNc
492Please respect copyright.PENANAv3dgLJRw7a
我側身把臉埋進枕頭,把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。492Please respect copyright.PENANAfAm0Hl94vK
492Please respect copyright.PENANAJPmlIXeOHO
492Please respect copyright.PENANABBK9fpNbpl
我往自己的腳下看,有一片草原。492Please respect copyright.PENANAUiz3o6BUjD
492Please respect copyright.PENANAx9nQIE9FTv
面前有一條石頭道路,盡頭是顆大樹。492Please respect copyright.PENANAaxPI2LKkcy
492Please respect copyright.PENANA6QLAWNhRSf
樹下站著一個人,太遠了,我看不清他的臉。492Please respect copyright.PENANAq9rErU4FEU
492Please respect copyright.PENANA65RGBMlJU9
所以我走近,愈走愈近,直到我看清楚他是誰。492Please respect copyright.PENANASrcrDmPQLw
492Please respect copyright.PENANAaGzY9ZsCtA
站在樹下的人是英傑。492Please respect copyright.PENANABK88QeGkwy
492Please respect copyright.PENANAlsgQiJY8tk
我跑向他,勾住他的手。492Please respect copyright.PENANA06HqDNhBhr
492Please respect copyright.PENANAe9fTEGA4G6
他對我笑著,什麼話也沒說。492Please respect copyright.PENANAEMzum5wkAH
492Please respect copyright.PENANAa3sHGTobBk
我像是要把這些日子以來,所有發生的事情都告訴他,開始滔滔不絕地講。492Please respect copyright.PENANA8FkhKhNLkr
492Please respect copyright.PENANATfu8gMYlSK
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方,就停下來。492Please respect copyright.PENANAPtnkTK4mWb
492Please respect copyright.PENANAhxMcN3ZBwC
我還在講,他轉頭看我,伸出手揉了我的頭,就像他每次做的那樣。492Please respect copyright.PENANAZF9zsqVehS
492Please respect copyright.PENANA3GH2o0CJxI
492Please respect copyright.PENANAflkE5RteM2
我張開眼睛,才知道自己夢見英傑了。492Please respect copyright.PENANA9vKvpFIUu8
492Please respect copyright.PENANA0l8ISW9jT5
492Please respect copyright.PENANAwHgZQESIup
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。492Please respect copyright.PENANAJsJl8yP2qJ
492Please respect copyright.PENANAhMiNDDaNkF
是太想念英傑了,還是壓力太大需要出口?492Please respect copyright.PENANA4FkQIfGwMQ
492Please respect copyright.PENANA3NLAGF257Y
或是…他真的怎麼了,才到我夢裡來?492Please respect copyright.PENANAl8m38xP1P6
492Please respect copyright.PENANAs4zFRNPmxK
我心裡很害怕是後者,但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。492Please respect copyright.PENANAcL22xg2eIx
492Please respect copyright.PENANADP1HKp8bHv
這個夢緩解了我的情緒,也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。492Please respect copyright.PENANAkRY3K7mUCd
492Please respect copyright.PENANAIfxGNO6NQ4
不管是什麼原因,都是英傑救了我。492Please respect copyright.PENANAHdCaA0rFfr
492Please respect copyright.PENANA7bAyHnISWQ
492Please respect copyright.PENANAQfAqPDMeiF
我度過了心中的那個坎,日子雖然沒有改變,但我的心態改變了。492Please respect copyright.PENANAW6nSjzt9LH
492Please respect copyright.PENANAXWiIvzx3sp
「沒錯,都是我選的。所以,我要更努力才行。」492Please respect copyright.PENANAu5yzrGa3kC
492Please respect copyright.PENANAkvbBxxrXR6
雖然,從那個時候開始,過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮,但我很幸運,擁有很多好朋友,如果我開口,他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我;就算我死愛面子不開口,他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢,繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。492Please respect copyright.PENANAfwfk2wRKPU
492Please respect copyright.PENANAwBjhOa1Qh9
高中的最後一個學期,我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學(當時已有就學貸款,但沒有考慮,只想著沒錢就去賺錢,別念書好了),但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學,硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡,要我慢慢還,要我和他們一起畢業。492Please respect copyright.PENANAr64DpzKRyW
492Please respect copyright.PENANAZcQxW36VKi
我沒參加考試,畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢,卻欠了好多人情債。492Please respect copyright.PENANAKrDNF2WSyl
492Please respect copyright.PENANApWCPulhLxF
492Please respect copyright.PENANAC8LHTLplTW
生活條件穩定之後,也談了戀愛,生活圈的人換了幾輪,越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。492Please respect copyright.PENANAmPSreeZXKi
492Please respect copyright.PENANAEoJf48jqv9
我還是沒有更換手機號碼,一直抱著小小的希望,492Please respect copyright.PENANAxZATkZjyVt
492Please respect copyright.PENANA7rtXBW3n1k
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。492Please respect copyright.PENANA8PyO0dLiLh
492Please respect copyright.PENANA60BKWY3l6h
492Please respect copyright.PENANAbQiRJ7A1ST
某天,我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了,找也找不到。492Please respect copyright.PENANAsy1s0CqGaO
492Please respect copyright.PENANA2nEln8gOOZ
我辦了卡片掛失,心裡希望有人撿到皮夾,會願意送還給我。492Please respect copyright.PENANAAOWwLbTKkG
492Please respect copyright.PENANAyPoWFR7l7Y
這時,我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片,也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。492Please respect copyright.PENANAOx1Y9uMIOr
492Please respect copyright.PENANAsiyaRlaCFe
492Please respect copyright.PENANAR5DKXO9LCE
我的皮夾沒回來,英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。492Please respect copyright.PENANA2hOFwXRhTz
492Please respect copyright.PENANAY3ReeBuqMN
有時候,我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相,便努力回想那段日子,但畫面只是越來越模糊。492Please respect copyright.PENANAWA8ZcWbEQC
492Please respect copyright.PENANA5nEGTl1Ifo
一年、兩年、三年,當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候,我卻看見他了。492Please respect copyright.PENANAl6znLvaX4f
492Please respect copyright.PENANAjIAvLdcuPv
492Please respect copyright.PENANAAsHGl3z49z
在電視裡面。492Please respect copyright.PENANAF8z9zT3LS8
492Please respect copyright.PENANAr21cISCrA6
492Please respect copyright.PENANALQSm46DzF5
492Please respect copyright.PENANAOtoiSngPaV
待續。
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