我站在門前許久,才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。475Please respect copyright.PENANAWBhD0me1v3
475Please respect copyright.PENANAiUqyHyFLYm
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。475Please respect copyright.PENANAzK7kyQMZnN
475Please respect copyright.PENANAMLqZlukPEN
「請問,這是英傑的家嗎?」475Please respect copyright.PENANATt61g1wPfY
475Please respect copyright.PENANAkyMBx0c5TK
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。475Please respect copyright.PENANA0OuF4KSXSX
475Please respect copyright.PENANA5CgP6Wsbf8
「妳是…?」475Please respect copyright.PENANAGmexG20mFO
475Please respect copyright.PENANAGVgGbmNXrw
「我是英傑的朋友,因為我一直聯絡不到他,所以…」475Please respect copyright.PENANAPH9BrSjX99
475Please respect copyright.PENANA9roIdmXeVH
「妳找錯間了,這裡沒這個人!」她揮揮手,避開我的眼神。475Please respect copyright.PENANAxet4EmNvVF
475Please respect copyright.PENANAnVpDXLKbGL
「我知道他被通緝!」在她準備關上裡面的木門前,我急著大喊。475Please respect copyright.PENANAIAQUGFBcEs
475Please respect copyright.PENANANAivI7M2oR
婦人停下動作,又把木門拉開了些。475Please respect copyright.PENANA7ZWZa3hhNH
475Please respect copyright.PENANARDsedSymCC
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面,可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。475Please respect copyright.PENANAtTDebUnZkF
475Please respect copyright.PENANATgmozJutcu
「妳是他女朋友?」475Please respect copyright.PENANAgl3nacemx4
475Please respect copyright.PENANAiwelsf2t6Q
「不是,我不是,我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。475Please respect copyright.PENANAL5B9K1zXqq
475Please respect copyright.PENANAC24HV5jYIp
475Please respect copyright.PENANA0BPKTFXFTO
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」475Please respect copyright.PENANAUgZrm5DHKI
475Please respect copyright.PENANAxy7vyLvwEo
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著,語氣平淡得不可思議。475Please respect copyright.PENANAwGw9SQUb0K
475Please respect copyright.PENANALH2ncyFIDX
我一時語塞,沒能回話。475Please respect copyright.PENANATsaINpPh5X
475Please respect copyright.PENANAh6o7fEdQ7Y
「讓妳跑一趟,歹勢,英傑不在這裡,我也不知道他在哪裡。」475Please respect copyright.PENANA1YXscXSHTb
475Please respect copyright.PENANAtAtRq1Tpw0
「那個…那,我可以留下我的手機,如果他有跟你們聯絡,請他跟我聯絡好嗎?」475Please respect copyright.PENANAOvcojlSdUN
475Please respect copyright.PENANA1YER8daL9p
婦人一臉不耐煩,我很尷尬,但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門,交到婦人手裡。475Please respect copyright.PENANAaOCFLl2cAH
475Please respect copyright.PENANATHw9vN7aVp
「小姐貴姓?」475Please respect copyright.PENANAg8cEng3hUK
475Please respect copyright.PENANAYpEVdJmVHw
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。475Please respect copyright.PENANAqlV6SqDfK4
475Please respect copyright.PENANACJBJs0QlCJ
「………」婦人突然噤了聲,透過鐵門盯著我。475Please respect copyright.PENANAAARSjbjGV5
475Please respect copyright.PENANAheLim8z8xF
「糟。」我心想。475Please respect copyright.PENANAM48fRWVfvj
475Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0N9f81zCQ
她隨即關上木門。475Please respect copyright.PENANAMVCcZpbuxT
475Please respect copyright.PENANAT0q2BjCxjV
「她知道我是誰了。」475Please respect copyright.PENANA28pXfLOxuX
475Please respect copyright.PENANACZUM2OiKWH
我當下便明白,不管英傑有沒有回到這裡,我都無法得知了。475Please respect copyright.PENANA0keyndg2QN
475Please respect copyright.PENANA1FhaKESZJW
475Please respect copyright.PENANAMq9iK42xaL
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。475Please respect copyright.PENANARJOLsZ2azW
475Please respect copyright.PENANAh1zM0zL1Cy
我不敢換手機號碼,睡覺時也不關機,就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。475Please respect copyright.PENANArZQCfBHzCK
475Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5Zrh2tRBN
就這樣升上了高中二年級,475Please respect copyright.PENANAoT8F58Fi9E
475Please respect copyright.PENANATnlPuZCetT
迎來了人生的轉折。475Please respect copyright.PENANARgUXXe3f8j
475Please respect copyright.PENANAJaQ8pL4r2a
475Please respect copyright.PENANApHujRTl8rI
父母親早在我國小時就已離異,但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開,便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大,幾乎是要什麼有什麼,生性霸道且極端任性,父親一生風流,基於愧疚或父愛,總寵著我,比起成天碎碎念的母親,我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。475Please respect copyright.PENANAUJWrpDi6LL
475Please respect copyright.PENANA6b8kULH7Ag
在高二那一年,父親生意失利,經營的公司惡性倒閉,再加上「賭」及「面子」,父親找上了地下錢莊。475Please respect copyright.PENANAUtDUMzcxMq
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。475Please respect copyright.PENANAWxls0TxPND
475Please respect copyright.PENANAlwjstEYQkL
當我放學回家,看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼,我還沒能反應過來。475Please respect copyright.PENANAYXXntmc6KL
475Please respect copyright.PENANAoSdDU8eqdR
「都已經離婚了,為什麼還這樣拖累我!」
母親氣得哭了。475Please respect copyright.PENANA76agBEa3IT
475Please respect copyright.PENANAsNQyo34k9I
某天晚上,母親進來房間,告訴我,房子要賣掉了。475Please respect copyright.PENANAbVtk5gTWGm
475Please respect copyright.PENANAfqCpKnhVRN
他們離婚後,所買的房子仍是共有財產,父親要把房子賣掉,才能償還債務。475Please respect copyright.PENANANCzds8o7MJ
475Please respect copyright.PENANA2DfXX6esaY
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重,跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家,就因為你,所以我的家就要這樣沒了!」475Please respect copyright.PENANAtZtD5Qz3xt
475Please respect copyright.PENANAjnEqQiPUs7
「那妳要我死是不是!」爸爸第一次吼我。475Please respect copyright.PENANAjbBeKpfziV
475Please respect copyright.PENANAvlOe4RVIdx
「我沒錢,地下錢莊說要砍我手腳,我讓他砍是不是!」475Please respect copyright.PENANAOqJsH4n7mm
475Please respect copyright.PENANAahNgh6kuHM
我嚇到了,沒能反駁。475Please respect copyright.PENANAHm4Yw0WKgz
475Please respect copyright.PENANAWa6xZJ0QkV
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友,那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的,所以他要搬出去,妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡,不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。475Please respect copyright.PENANARzTSOm5X2L
475Please respect copyright.PENANAiK5JYlTCYI
我沒說話,看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親,便逕自走回房間。475Please respect copyright.PENANAOdhbwazGhT
475Please respect copyright.PENANAIHxpLL3hty
回到房間,想起國小五年級那天,母親到安親班接我和弟弟,把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了,妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權,弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳,妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開,所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔!」475Please respect copyright.PENANAsil8u1lQJx
475Please respect copyright.PENANAHhGk6cyDYC
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。475Please respect copyright.PENANAdEgv5JjyLt
475Please respect copyright.PENANAnZMBKscRy3
我不能接受的,其實是家的破碎。475Please respect copyright.PENANA1wBtYbDIBi
475Please respect copyright.PENANAiXIkeEmWmN
因為一直都住在一起,所以沒有分離的感覺。475Please respect copyright.PENANAIuBjjE8IRi
475Please respect copyright.PENANAhvclFWzDWY
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子,他弟弟出生後,就被虐待又被冷落,所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後,完全沒有再過問他們的生活,也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。475Please respect copyright.PENANA12ZT5FuXwg
475Please respect copyright.PENANAWbleUsI9xU
「妳不要管我,反正我的監護權又不是妳!」
「是妳自己不要我的!」
某次和母親吵架,我說了這樣的話,害母親哭了整晚。475Please respect copyright.PENANAhHMkBm80dO
475Please respect copyright.PENANAsl8I68lSr2
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。475Please respect copyright.PENANAHUpFiaLBUf
475Please respect copyright.PENANArFdOul8n5R
「小姐貴姓?」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神,帶了驚訝及恨意。475Please respect copyright.PENANAizt6L313nV
475Please respect copyright.PENANAjgmwJeG8Oz
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運,其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳,妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字,看起來多麼傷心。475Please respect copyright.PENANA80Fv8cYGkb
475Please respect copyright.PENANAf9iheAzmwn
475Please respect copyright.PENANADudHDxho7R
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。475Please respect copyright.PENANAA4iLmoJDSD
475Please respect copyright.PENANAp91MAhpAEo
475Please respect copyright.PENANAqLz2PoTy0J
媽媽睡了之後,我走到客廳,父親盯著電視,卻兩眼無神。475Please respect copyright.PENANA457pHFNvTL
475Please respect copyright.PENANAWhPHYKQHRb
「爸爸。」我喊他。475Please respect copyright.PENANAt9WrdeBqtI
475Please respect copyright.PENANAx2pgAZ0jVO
父親抬頭看我。475Please respect copyright.PENANAYAtqb7MitE
475Please respect copyright.PENANArvCr82bA6T
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡?」475Please respect copyright.PENANARqMsSWCwkX
475Please respect copyright.PENANAaPBJWqDvCZ
「我不知道。」475Please respect copyright.PENANAqtqzvTTgQ6
475Please respect copyright.PENANAKvOD0OlL7g
475Please respect copyright.PENANAuw8qNUaoiO
「我和你一起搬走。」475Please respect copyright.PENANAbMoWLyb5CN
475Please respect copyright.PENANAsjtCP6hrHM
我說出這句話的時候,爸爸一臉驚訝。475Please respect copyright.PENANARcrjTKU6bO
475Please respect copyright.PENANAHXJYHJgEpm
「真的嗎?」475Please respect copyright.PENANAE3Sr69yMH0
475Please respect copyright.PENANAw6E4Bqtoxf
「嗯。」475Please respect copyright.PENANAaGZRBFEX96
475Please respect copyright.PENANAMLlHlxuUrl
「…好啊。」475Please respect copyright.PENANA2YpZ90fUNr
475Please respect copyright.PENANAKKjfNyizzo
「那我去睡了,爸爸晚安。」475Please respect copyright.PENANAZCTdidI1o0
475Please respect copyright.PENANArJBfhzN0Ou
475Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8PHu2kpd9
那時,我只想著,父親一旦離開了,我可能再也見不到他。475Please respect copyright.PENANAeydCdSsiRx
475Please respect copyright.PENANA5q7833SXKf
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親,他仍是我的父親,從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。475Please respect copyright.PENANAt82LcpKk9C
475Please respect copyright.PENANAeofa2S6l0O
隔天,我便自己出門找房子。475Please respect copyright.PENANArll8FjGjs3
475Please respect copyright.PENANAanIrid5dVM
母親雖然擔心又不捨,但沒能阻止我的任性與固執,就還是陪著我找房子。475Please respect copyright.PENANAwe3kLoLbos
475Please respect copyright.PENANAeLfgBVEtt9
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處,因為我當時尚未成年,還是請父親來和房東簽合約,之後,我自己忙搬家,請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙,把所有的家具都搬到新住處。475Please respect copyright.PENANAhLijD6B996
475Please respect copyright.PENANAcwOE70Httj
475Please respect copyright.PENANAS58cbxs7wN
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非,我們搬家後沒多久,又有新的債主找上門。475Please respect copyright.PENANA6hsGmD0ZED
475Please respect copyright.PENANAysIKbbxNb5
那天,黑兔子(忘記她的人請往前看系列文)趁著假日到家裡玩,我們在房間聊天,父親在客廳看電視。475Please respect copyright.PENANAbA7Iu7kudc
475Please respect copyright.PENANAY0FV2FW7cr
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候,有人按電鈴。475Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1NIt7drce
475Please respect copyright.PENANAGGWIwmFV3p
按了好幾聲,父親卻不去應門。475Please respect copyright.PENANAsi8dvQmsuR
475Please respect copyright.PENANAOS4fFLWY0v
我走到客廳,看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面,示意我不要出聲。475Please respect copyright.PENANAuV5hLDqhdw
475Please respect copyright.PENANAOia8qXUWuy
對方按了幾下電鈴,便開始撞門,接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。475Please respect copyright.PENANA962Zq5bMyE
475Please respect copyright.PENANApYog2wopQ6
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到,悄聲問我怎麼回事,我覺得很丟臉,但還是告訴她,門外的是父親的債主,我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧,才會待在門外不走。475Please respect copyright.PENANAq7gcUw9qwH
475Please respect copyright.PENANAYxO8RRlEpv
直到傍晚,我才戰戰兢兢的開門,送黑兔子到公車站搭車。475Please respect copyright.PENANA4GE7APr9tg
475Please respect copyright.PENANAfsNl77n97c
475Please respect copyright.PENANA1uZvcGlQaR
那年發生的事情非常地多,我喜歡上了一個學長,但他卻用各種不同的方式,在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。475Please respect copyright.PENANAR1QDCjhRQG
475Please respect copyright.PENANAMOcxAhGwqu
但那是另一個故事了。475Please respect copyright.PENANAKKMCeJFj5U
475Please respect copyright.PENANAQY8N5ylIXo
475Please respect copyright.PENANAcgJzomKZdt
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。475Please respect copyright.PENANAv6koEqDIoY
475Please respect copyright.PENANAquQeYuibqi
我就讀的學校是私立職校,學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢,付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。475Please respect copyright.PENANAIQDVYFr0Jn
475Please respect copyright.PENANAojgK1tBVDy
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口,像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。475Please respect copyright.PENANAIEJQowLV3T
475Please respect copyright.PENANARCNQN6nJ9G
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯,但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心,又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。475Please respect copyright.PENANAbj2AP7if3u
475Please respect copyright.PENANAVbmtyhUuWO
475Please respect copyright.PENANAfkOWAiwE1g
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡,我很常想起英傑。475Please respect copyright.PENANACbbVeS41Y5
475Please respect copyright.PENANAhcLUvFDeTx
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢?475Please respect copyright.PENANANPG4pakIJo
475Please respect copyright.PENANAmJfcujl9n0
難道逃出台灣了嗎?475Please respect copyright.PENANAYUP5UcBtZ7
475Please respect copyright.PENANAepMENuVW2o
難道…真的死了嗎?475Please respect copyright.PENANAEZTzT2uM8C
475Please respect copyright.PENANAMmVjUhazlr
475Please respect copyright.PENANAfYjf4YnOTG
一天晚上,我帶著傷痕回家,在家門前,我把運動外套拉起,確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門,想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。475Please respect copyright.PENANAHYeH78kxad
475Please respect copyright.PENANAYmQslKxBZO
但父親不在家。475Please respect copyright.PENANAh1ftKLvnXI
475Please respect copyright.PENANAm47CkNOCRb
撥了父親的電話,聽見那邊的麻將聲。475Please respect copyright.PENANAJ6ZhpwbSBf
475Please respect copyright.PENANAiWNVxQHuWT
我對父親大吼,卻被掛電話。475Please respect copyright.PENANA2H4hvEFqzJ
475Please respect copyright.PENANA6ro56krJ5M
那一刻,我想著自己所做的一切。475Please respect copyright.PENANA2isnEz1bG8
475Please respect copyright.PENANArxXcwv36yC
「都是自己選的。」475Please respect copyright.PENANA8aSOIoKsZW
475Please respect copyright.PENANAqrKAkEp6tg
「沒人逼妳,都是妳自己選的。」475Please respect copyright.PENANAElD4bG0pyc
475Please respect copyright.PENANAf7O5LI43DP
475Please respect copyright.PENANA6fFoFbRlRy
475Please respect copyright.PENANAh8q5XDSviO
「乾脆,去死好了。」475Please respect copyright.PENANAHsfIqfv7KY
475Please respect copyright.PENANA37d3CT10F5
475Please respect copyright.PENANAaPaNaOI0VJ
475Please respect copyright.PENANA7USOEgWQEW
待續。
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