我站在門前許久,才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。474Please respect copyright.PENANA2swRtZXP0h
474Please respect copyright.PENANAbdKvbLS5iT
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。474Please respect copyright.PENANAI9ksHtBWVd
474Please respect copyright.PENANAuyOEbWhwUA
「請問,這是英傑的家嗎?」474Please respect copyright.PENANA2Ogj7LYzrs
474Please respect copyright.PENANAPtJ24AOaUb
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。474Please respect copyright.PENANAi0yAhOobr4
474Please respect copyright.PENANAHfKsvgCYd3
「妳是…?」474Please respect copyright.PENANAm4HVSIzpZI
474Please respect copyright.PENANAF1WjNjdPHc
「我是英傑的朋友,因為我一直聯絡不到他,所以…」474Please respect copyright.PENANAu21K7LqqRl
474Please respect copyright.PENANAecYWHGp3Gn
「妳找錯間了,這裡沒這個人!」她揮揮手,避開我的眼神。474Please respect copyright.PENANAm9SVFigZft
474Please respect copyright.PENANATiA5nV0As7
「我知道他被通緝!」在她準備關上裡面的木門前,我急著大喊。474Please respect copyright.PENANA8zdA319Q2v
474Please respect copyright.PENANAFYlj3PigVk
婦人停下動作,又把木門拉開了些。474Please respect copyright.PENANAi5vacG4sO3
474Please respect copyright.PENANA03HyRwu6ys
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面,可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。474Please respect copyright.PENANAmKryWzaUzq
474Please respect copyright.PENANA5zRC1YzwHt
「妳是他女朋友?」474Please respect copyright.PENANADfq9jFUcoj
474Please respect copyright.PENANAvHj3QNZL3m
「不是,我不是,我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。474Please respect copyright.PENANAF6vXHEpM2u
474Please respect copyright.PENANAb45QJ4T0VQ
474Please respect copyright.PENANAyyARmvwO9X
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」474Please respect copyright.PENANAV2g5gZ3zsl
474Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7DjEOJR1A
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著,語氣平淡得不可思議。474Please respect copyright.PENANAUrltdcesfk
474Please respect copyright.PENANAfqzjLIs7Au
我一時語塞,沒能回話。474Please respect copyright.PENANAIlN2KXpkdb
474Please respect copyright.PENANA5ImjGsMkNI
「讓妳跑一趟,歹勢,英傑不在這裡,我也不知道他在哪裡。」474Please respect copyright.PENANA6N8x8jxAzO
474Please respect copyright.PENANA33Be5Njpey
「那個…那,我可以留下我的手機,如果他有跟你們聯絡,請他跟我聯絡好嗎?」474Please respect copyright.PENANANN10DeMsAc
474Please respect copyright.PENANAM7KbMHoW0l
婦人一臉不耐煩,我很尷尬,但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門,交到婦人手裡。474Please respect copyright.PENANAsxyxNIclPO
474Please respect copyright.PENANAaPJ8JPTbGl
「小姐貴姓?」474Please respect copyright.PENANAq2CmCQ6Jxs
474Please respect copyright.PENANAONAF4szwF9
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。474Please respect copyright.PENANAG5ecC4N6CL
474Please respect copyright.PENANAZILsSVmyyx
「………」婦人突然噤了聲,透過鐵門盯著我。474Please respect copyright.PENANAK3tEVkDEax
474Please respect copyright.PENANAU9h1aDgU8t
「糟。」我心想。474Please respect copyright.PENANAmD31s2xsaJ
474Please respect copyright.PENANALUuUNwjUUa
她隨即關上木門。474Please respect copyright.PENANAHAHFZZ6BzD
474Please respect copyright.PENANAryzdGH2bwC
「她知道我是誰了。」474Please respect copyright.PENANAiuVskNVr1y
474Please respect copyright.PENANAiKfbCDDxLD
我當下便明白,不管英傑有沒有回到這裡,我都無法得知了。474Please respect copyright.PENANAVMWSSK8oCN
474Please respect copyright.PENANAxX8SRmiqFs
474Please respect copyright.PENANApmyVVd7y83
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。474Please respect copyright.PENANAua8ORSU4Sf
474Please respect copyright.PENANAGTscmwzILz
我不敢換手機號碼,睡覺時也不關機,就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。474Please respect copyright.PENANAlSn9sKB6Do
474Please respect copyright.PENANA4dkAM5tg65
就這樣升上了高中二年級,474Please respect copyright.PENANAgO7JU6QmF7
474Please respect copyright.PENANAEg8KXdz6PV
迎來了人生的轉折。474Please respect copyright.PENANAlkw3h1Jyf6
474Please respect copyright.PENANA2xqy5viEh0
474Please respect copyright.PENANAst4DwcrGuT
父母親早在我國小時就已離異,但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開,便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大,幾乎是要什麼有什麼,生性霸道且極端任性,父親一生風流,基於愧疚或父愛,總寵著我,比起成天碎碎念的母親,我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。474Please respect copyright.PENANAzQxfzlkQZD
474Please respect copyright.PENANAijMULkgEEd
在高二那一年,父親生意失利,經營的公司惡性倒閉,再加上「賭」及「面子」,父親找上了地下錢莊。474Please respect copyright.PENANANJ1hPHNU3T
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。474Please respect copyright.PENANAMUMcZT6swG
474Please respect copyright.PENANAA8MRRUwlNf
當我放學回家,看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼,我還沒能反應過來。474Please respect copyright.PENANAsCvEbxGX0M
474Please respect copyright.PENANAQ98RCAMbCW
「都已經離婚了,為什麼還這樣拖累我!」
母親氣得哭了。474Please respect copyright.PENANAtyB9OH5CWF
474Please respect copyright.PENANAEPwcWELejT
某天晚上,母親進來房間,告訴我,房子要賣掉了。474Please respect copyright.PENANAXGuHcP6J5Z
474Please respect copyright.PENANAqcxjh1tTUp
他們離婚後,所買的房子仍是共有財產,父親要把房子賣掉,才能償還債務。474Please respect copyright.PENANAuW2DAjpSA5
474Please respect copyright.PENANA7PuPDR9zeG
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重,跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家,就因為你,所以我的家就要這樣沒了!」474Please respect copyright.PENANAhMu8G5S9Es
474Please respect copyright.PENANAIRrsCXHN6h
「那妳要我死是不是!」爸爸第一次吼我。474Please respect copyright.PENANAjeDuEdUz0Q
474Please respect copyright.PENANAN3QD9V9h15
「我沒錢,地下錢莊說要砍我手腳,我讓他砍是不是!」474Please respect copyright.PENANAdrqK1ey9Zb
474Please respect copyright.PENANAQax5jgwzej
我嚇到了,沒能反駁。474Please respect copyright.PENANAcqAiu1Pkcm
474Please respect copyright.PENANA1eeOZoYMHu
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友,那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的,所以他要搬出去,妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡,不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。474Please respect copyright.PENANAKpNxtfKIaK
474Please respect copyright.PENANAddzhePcV8M
我沒說話,看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親,便逕自走回房間。474Please respect copyright.PENANAS07Cl8vND5
474Please respect copyright.PENANAH2rLz7E9dB
回到房間,想起國小五年級那天,母親到安親班接我和弟弟,把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了,妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權,弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳,妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開,所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔!」474Please respect copyright.PENANAN59GnMEFGK
474Please respect copyright.PENANArcRIsd69Qv
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。474Please respect copyright.PENANAAEVotKdB1H
474Please respect copyright.PENANAe5cuhgdal1
我不能接受的,其實是家的破碎。474Please respect copyright.PENANA54nc6ceRMF
474Please respect copyright.PENANAXIAJxJWTsP
因為一直都住在一起,所以沒有分離的感覺。474Please respect copyright.PENANA23pBXOrs27
474Please respect copyright.PENANAjvLNG93rip
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子,他弟弟出生後,就被虐待又被冷落,所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後,完全沒有再過問他們的生活,也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。474Please respect copyright.PENANAlV7uNhxOYp
474Please respect copyright.PENANAGdLJSWotVC
「妳不要管我,反正我的監護權又不是妳!」
「是妳自己不要我的!」
某次和母親吵架,我說了這樣的話,害母親哭了整晚。474Please respect copyright.PENANAvnNR47QrrW
474Please respect copyright.PENANARzTG0sYuAA
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。474Please respect copyright.PENANA6CnZyMK5Id
474Please respect copyright.PENANA8jQy3RWfr4
「小姐貴姓?」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神,帶了驚訝及恨意。474Please respect copyright.PENANAJA7wf9AHWc
474Please respect copyright.PENANAt5dVKS1S5H
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運,其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳,妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字,看起來多麼傷心。474Please respect copyright.PENANA9bOjIL83dA
474Please respect copyright.PENANAHEwk4HKH04
474Please respect copyright.PENANA3wMosSXDPi
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。474Please respect copyright.PENANApJ6EoGKhrx
474Please respect copyright.PENANA5hMdrOB7x6
474Please respect copyright.PENANAfK0ck4UxUQ
媽媽睡了之後,我走到客廳,父親盯著電視,卻兩眼無神。474Please respect copyright.PENANAx2sVzlzhAf
474Please respect copyright.PENANATwT4LlRrJ5
「爸爸。」我喊他。474Please respect copyright.PENANAV0JNzGsNGy
474Please respect copyright.PENANAbAW9pqg0kA
父親抬頭看我。474Please respect copyright.PENANAoCasGnWNdD
474Please respect copyright.PENANATvGkYRgvq1
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡?」474Please respect copyright.PENANALvwoKUPclZ
474Please respect copyright.PENANAvE428DRWqA
「我不知道。」474Please respect copyright.PENANAoEwdGAPLON
474Please respect copyright.PENANA5Os9K0ZqKZ
474Please respect copyright.PENANA991osvzaXL
「我和你一起搬走。」474Please respect copyright.PENANAkR100Tgq2P
474Please respect copyright.PENANAj0nllGEweQ
我說出這句話的時候,爸爸一臉驚訝。474Please respect copyright.PENANAqnMX0itR5X
474Please respect copyright.PENANAQFbJsm0Pd2
「真的嗎?」474Please respect copyright.PENANAKNh4TfxLio
474Please respect copyright.PENANAchUbO7XElh
「嗯。」474Please respect copyright.PENANAIvyh1VD4cZ
474Please respect copyright.PENANAmWhbYUsBAD
「…好啊。」474Please respect copyright.PENANAVOBgWRzY8G
474Please respect copyright.PENANALclszV4gFI
「那我去睡了,爸爸晚安。」474Please respect copyright.PENANAMXdjmeFDV3
474Please respect copyright.PENANAAFcMVoS6Sw
474Please respect copyright.PENANAfG4ztwDNfK
那時,我只想著,父親一旦離開了,我可能再也見不到他。474Please respect copyright.PENANAnAENx1m9xa
474Please respect copyright.PENANAV9J2tDMq1y
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親,他仍是我的父親,從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。474Please respect copyright.PENANAdOdLVXF5jM
474Please respect copyright.PENANAkMCkJI9RnC
隔天,我便自己出門找房子。474Please respect copyright.PENANAcmUKK5wdoG
474Please respect copyright.PENANA1Htmea5E0Z
母親雖然擔心又不捨,但沒能阻止我的任性與固執,就還是陪著我找房子。474Please respect copyright.PENANAJJN3KCMYIO
474Please respect copyright.PENANAAgMMExNnI9
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處,因為我當時尚未成年,還是請父親來和房東簽合約,之後,我自己忙搬家,請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙,把所有的家具都搬到新住處。474Please respect copyright.PENANADagsbW64vs
474Please respect copyright.PENANAWMSRSjCdjr
474Please respect copyright.PENANA4v3MDkbWXU
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非,我們搬家後沒多久,又有新的債主找上門。474Please respect copyright.PENANAkeUlk2G4fp
474Please respect copyright.PENANApsW0EAQkaP
那天,黑兔子(忘記她的人請往前看系列文)趁著假日到家裡玩,我們在房間聊天,父親在客廳看電視。474Please respect copyright.PENANAl3uOcua7BM
474Please respect copyright.PENANAUgffKfq84f
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候,有人按電鈴。474Please respect copyright.PENANAXsJnGk9stU
474Please respect copyright.PENANAgBCUvxqPzx
按了好幾聲,父親卻不去應門。474Please respect copyright.PENANAGv1ZijPWzR
474Please respect copyright.PENANAA8HQ5E6cWb
我走到客廳,看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面,示意我不要出聲。474Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8n9yQb4m7
474Please respect copyright.PENANA0ym12aCg0P
對方按了幾下電鈴,便開始撞門,接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。474Please respect copyright.PENANAZjD0PTtuJr
474Please respect copyright.PENANAPW3bfSti03
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到,悄聲問我怎麼回事,我覺得很丟臉,但還是告訴她,門外的是父親的債主,我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧,才會待在門外不走。474Please respect copyright.PENANAeLe7P2ze9U
474Please respect copyright.PENANAxuQQZGL6M2
直到傍晚,我才戰戰兢兢的開門,送黑兔子到公車站搭車。474Please respect copyright.PENANAOUNnQd5ccN
474Please respect copyright.PENANAoK4KxHrh3u
474Please respect copyright.PENANA75s9tkBDRn
那年發生的事情非常地多,我喜歡上了一個學長,但他卻用各種不同的方式,在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。474Please respect copyright.PENANAyZExfe0GyF
474Please respect copyright.PENANA7lTvkI8d7v
但那是另一個故事了。474Please respect copyright.PENANAIRR1JlrcG7
474Please respect copyright.PENANAq8jAbH8kvF
474Please respect copyright.PENANAYkZJDHRr3Q
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。474Please respect copyright.PENANAkF7yzQN9Mp
474Please respect copyright.PENANAqWOGd7s9mO
我就讀的學校是私立職校,學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢,付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。474Please respect copyright.PENANAi71DMa75Mz
474Please respect copyright.PENANA6oz2FLTbIv
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口,像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。474Please respect copyright.PENANAaWxboionjT
474Please respect copyright.PENANAtbGSLu5HsA
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯,但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心,又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。474Please respect copyright.PENANAzOhssEHpKO
474Please respect copyright.PENANAKh6zVmOFu7
474Please respect copyright.PENANAjCrCar73gY
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡,我很常想起英傑。474Please respect copyright.PENANAuay43tF5yF
474Please respect copyright.PENANAfRNpcU235C
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢?474Please respect copyright.PENANACO3Mx3jk1N
474Please respect copyright.PENANAZF1xEtiYvz
難道逃出台灣了嗎?474Please respect copyright.PENANA3OgEWQN00b
474Please respect copyright.PENANArTrFM2KxHt
難道…真的死了嗎?474Please respect copyright.PENANAM5g7B4SgjB
474Please respect copyright.PENANA1BdQBjYXdB
474Please respect copyright.PENANA6m3hE2Wle2
一天晚上,我帶著傷痕回家,在家門前,我把運動外套拉起,確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門,想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。474Please respect copyright.PENANAMjEQhzlqKe
474Please respect copyright.PENANA9neSwPSCXF
但父親不在家。474Please respect copyright.PENANAJbh1XTfVSV
474Please respect copyright.PENANAYcq79b87GL
撥了父親的電話,聽見那邊的麻將聲。474Please respect copyright.PENANATXALU7N5jZ
474Please respect copyright.PENANA64T9wpPVMU
我對父親大吼,卻被掛電話。474Please respect copyright.PENANAOoI5fD3TEz
474Please respect copyright.PENANADOzh0JIN3M
那一刻,我想著自己所做的一切。474Please respect copyright.PENANAqzE4bcK5aV
474Please respect copyright.PENANApUNqim6DIB
「都是自己選的。」474Please respect copyright.PENANADXFtoUK8Dc
474Please respect copyright.PENANAZbaD1hQohE
「沒人逼妳,都是妳自己選的。」474Please respect copyright.PENANAOoMSyXOx8W
474Please respect copyright.PENANAXdLIrlqEg9
474Please respect copyright.PENANAZeptg6fq7j
474Please respect copyright.PENANA3tqpBecfgo
「乾脆,去死好了。」474Please respect copyright.PENANAxhL4iXlGr0
474Please respect copyright.PENANAmUWsLh58Xa
474Please respect copyright.PENANAS80MvjvKNW
474Please respect copyright.PENANAmwHIrdlTjJ
待續。
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