在與陳冬月告別之後，賴夏陽陸續找了他的親生父母。
賴夏陽沒住在媽媽家已經好一陣子了，真正的理由從來沒講過。也許是太吵、太累、太多話說不出口。
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但這天，他提前傳了訊息給她：
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【晚上有空嗎？我想吃妳煮的麻油雞。】
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媽媽秒回：
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【怎麼突然想吃這個？你發燒？】
【可以。七點回來。】
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傍晚六點五十七分，他出現在熟悉的巷口，背著包，走進那間不大的公寓。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXoezPbxuJ
門一打開，就是熟悉的聲音：「你知道你從國中開始只要說想吃我煮的，一定是心情不好。」
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他沒回嘴，只換了拖鞋，坐進餐桌前。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UUTnV8LgP
桌上湯還在滾，香氣四溢。媽媽盛了一碗給他，還附了滿滿一碗飯：「來，先吃。我還煎了你最愛的豆皮蛋。」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF17CCUcJxZ
「媽。」他沒動筷子，只是抬起頭看她，「我有件事，要跟妳講。」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcLAdXrwZr
媽媽皺眉：「你交女朋友了？」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJHZVL1RAz
他搖頭又點頭。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t2LG7t8Bu
「你要轉學？」
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再搖頭。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAC0OS6AFf
「……那是什麼事？」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6p4ztwRObh
他低下頭，把那一疊醫院檢查報告從背包裡拿出來，輕輕推到她面前。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqACt1G8wA
「媽，我得癌症了。肺腺癌第四期，醫生說，剩下三個月左右。」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaqNYUzqFv
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那一刻，時間停住了。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lrr6gtbK4
媽媽的手懸在空中，沒接報告，眼神一瞬間從驚愕，變成失焦。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjEBtlKAuE
她張口，像想說什麼，最後卻只擠出一句：「你在開玩笑對不對。」
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他搖頭。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHFnr9byES
「這不是真的。」她立刻站起來，走到廚房，像是在逃避什麼，「你才十六歲，你怎麼可能——你以前有咳嗽嗎？有血嗎？醫生是不是看錯了——」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBWIofEWPw
「是真的。」他的聲音很低，卻像石頭一樣落進她的耳朵。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Y9fxSQvsU
她停在水槽前，手還捏著湯杓，背對著他不動了。
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沉默很久很久。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrmKCwWpoo
賴夏陽終於說話：「我不是想讓妳擔心，我只是覺得——妳有權知道。」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrimf7GlqiK
媽媽的肩膀抖了一下。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69TsILv8AA
「我不會馬上走，醫生說還有三個月。我會吃藥、我會乖一點。妳不要哭，好不好？」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGkSzG4Cpb
他站起身，走近她，卻在她背後停住。
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「我知道妳以前覺得我不夠用功、不夠成熟，什麼都吊兒郎當……但我真的有在努力活得像個讓妳不失望的兒子。」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cRAKyYLoh
他很想擁抱她，但又怕她會崩潰。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIdrPSWHzg
媽媽終於開口，聲音嘶啞卻克制：
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUge7L13mv
「你現在是在跟我告別嗎？」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQC6V5oQXq
「不是。」他看著她的背影，輕輕說：「我只是想回家吃頓飯。」
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她終於轉過身來，眼眶紅了，但努力沒讓眼淚掉下來。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTspQComAA
她走過來，狠狠抱住他，像抱住什麼就不會被命運搶走似的。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkN5kQlBfzd
「你給我撐過去，聽到沒有。」
「我會的。」
「你說過的話，不准反悔。」
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那頓飯他們後來沒有吃完。麻油雞冷掉了，蛋也煎焦了。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfqWlLD0aW
但那晚，是他這輩子第一次覺得媽媽的懷抱不是責備，是心疼。
飯沒吃完。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1EfGggLXS
夏陽坐在沙發上，抱著膝蓋，像個長大後還學不會放鬆的孩子。媽媽坐在他對面，眼神一直看著他，卻沒再問什麼。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPYMnn8A9G
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過了很久，他才開口：173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNoLCrpWVJ
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173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGsqIjXiW9
「媽，我想去找爸爸。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqQAWoikvl
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9sAZ54eap
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWwALXA1t2
媽媽聞言一怔，眉頭微微皺起：「你要找他做什麼？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YWbej96aY
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMVd1EcTpz
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf04Dn2cXTz
他低頭，聲音很淡：「只是想……親口跟他說。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsyap0PiFn
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjxhrLBwh8
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcdznf76yq
她沉默幾秒，然後問：「他知道你生病了嗎？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hhU27tTlS
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaWnP70rqB
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「不知道。妳也知道，我們平常……也沒聯絡。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5IgsxVR7J
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugwcQ8YqFR
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媽媽點點頭，沒說話。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VdOR2lBEi
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSc9H3zk1Yr
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客廳陷入短暫的靜默，空氣中只剩下時鐘秒針的聲音。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJcLoPlwX8
賴夏陽沒想到媽媽會同意，正準備站起來走人，媽媽卻忽然開口：173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7r1xff9Po
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrXwGFMvoY
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsqmcqEmwD
「我陪你一起去。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRezQjnAJn
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他抬起頭，有些訝異。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJ41gctEKx
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CJ1mKKW9O
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「妳要一起去？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FIZJnVDcH
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKsDmVWuwv
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nQMHOf3ks
「不行嗎？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Mo5507Ci0
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「……只是覺得妳應該不想見他。」他輕聲說。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5yX7f1zlf
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRRRpV334k
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3S45At9Db
媽媽垂下眼眸，手指緊緊握著膝蓋，過了幾秒才回話：173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOzotvd14f
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8i3JxbNQwJ
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「不想見是以前的事了。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyO25Ph8YH
她抬起頭，語氣平靜卻堅決：「現在我怕我不去，你一個人撐不住。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqg2aYV5AJ
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uIL57mMB4
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZBnUa3e2B
夏陽看著她，眼底有一閃而過的顫動。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EiehXH11I
但他笑了笑，點點頭。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRpNTP0vZx
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「好。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGfmfpVKK0
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—173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmY0TcVf0T
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那天晚上，他沒回去自己的宿舍。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTsvY6CoFc
媽媽把客房整理好，還拿出一床很舊的棉被，是他小時候常蓋的那條，邊角已經起毛球。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXcpL6mFbI
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22IB8AT69E
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2mWwzeBhv
「我曬過了，還有點太陽味。」她放好被子，小聲地說。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHS372ZLzN
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaY7YGjdIp
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBFX0gMs3l
夏陽沒說什麼，只是輕輕地：「謝謝。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0b2O5kamq
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門要關上前，媽媽站住腳，回過頭：173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzf6bXPOthC
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「夏陽……」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N5pzhcZgw
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「嗯？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWV58HSr6Rg
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173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6xATIR5UY
「你要是累了，就讓我知道。我知道我以前太多話，現在我……只想陪著你，好不好？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3NqAX2T0U
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKhbaiVwZR
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—173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUu89FdFsb
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房間裡的燈漸漸熄了。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVgEOWkVfI
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夜色籠罩整棟屋子。母子倆在不同的房間，卻第一次在這樣寧靜的夜裡，靠得這麼近。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoINiFoYWbq
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這一晚，沒有誰睡得很好，但兩人都沒有開燈。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocleAzPWm3
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡje1MgIHpPq
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgFtnAXYHv
因為有些心事，已經不需要再說出口。
黃昏的光靜靜灑落公園。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLxW4xxeEj
賴夏陽坐在長椅上，雙手插在外套口袋裡，一臉平靜。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKi5aSPvQjU
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他媽媽站在不遠處，一直沒說話，只是安靜地陪著。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TlZmvAjYo
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173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWecTHkFmN
不久，一道熟悉又有些陌生的腳步聲靠近了。是他的爸爸，穿著筆挺西裝，手裡還拿著剛下班的公事包。看到他們倆，他愣了一下，眉頭微微皺起。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5mbaTOAku
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「怎麼妳也在？」他問。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcUIfXDHhK
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjp0GDauoy
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mLZIdYPjs
媽媽沒有回話，只淡淡說了一句：「我只是陪兒子。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHvb8iYKFl
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ32gDMhcsh
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojPfcrrdO2
三人之間的空氣有點凝重。夏陽拍拍旁邊的座位：「爸，坐一下。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3MPaMgsb8
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他爸爸猶豫了幾秒，還是坐下了。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXljVmhU0Z0
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夏陽看著地面，語氣平靜到有些冷靜：173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFa3i7UZyB
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「我有件事要說。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRUP8OPsYz
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3HKINRV4i
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他從外套裡拿出那張已經有些皺的診斷報告，遞過去。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjuuoHiwn7
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6Zjuy9KAC
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYs7jvNA0xC
爸爸接過報告，看了一眼，臉色頓時僵住。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGtrTpF4Xb
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdQ9WI2kGP
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「癌症……？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHguX8UTBri
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiBjCaufJH
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCIxj1BEKN
「嗯，末期，三個月。」夏陽的聲音像是說著別人的事。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxkS2XoxOd
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeZDTKPRDv
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「你什麼時候知道的？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3S34juw4S
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNnXoZBxWB
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「前幾天。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Wvh3XD98j
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爸爸緊緊捏著那張報告，眼神彷彿不知該看哪裡。他想說什麼，但喉嚨像被堵住一樣，只擠出一句：「為什麼……為什麼不早點說？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TmtB5GAhA
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夏陽沒有立刻回話，而是望向遠方那一片橘紅色的天光。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNvbPfiZzj
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GmdGxV0oL
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「我不是不說……是我不知道該跟你說什麼。以前我們太少說話了，說多了像是冒犯，說少了又像陌生人。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdxlPJeXGS
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他媽媽這時才緩緩開口，語氣輕得像風一樣：173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGKGuKpYgY
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZriX9SmCJr
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「你以前太忙了，錯過了很多……我沒資格責怪你，因為我也一樣。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcxTnW7Jka
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kutfPvQUA
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爸爸望了她一眼，眼神裡有一絲說不出的歉意。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH14K7PujQ1
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夏陽笑了笑，目光落在自己腳尖：173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wczx5FZUM
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSd6EFW6eYy
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「爸，我今天找你來，不是要討什麼。不是要你愧疚、補償、負責……我只想說一聲：我真的曾經很想要你多看我一點。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJ45vE1xVr
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASzmX0vloc
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他抬頭看著父親的眼睛，那雙曾經讓他感到遙遠的眼睛。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zxUrRpGyO
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zZgI9tt1G
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「哪怕只是一次，真的為我感到驕傲。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi78fGU1Yw
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEryG8Lbzik
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那句話像是劃開了一道裂縫。父親的眼神終於撐不住，紅了眼眶。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4fOTms2uE
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他開口，聲音沙啞：173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDJnn9UnKw
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「對不起……夏陽。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXm2n6nSYt
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWLljrRwls
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他媽媽站在旁邊，眼圈也紅了，轉過臉擦掉悄悄滑下來的淚。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrf6oncCZH2
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFGf3K4q2f
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父親看著兒子，說：「如果可以，我想陪你……後面這些日子，哪怕只是開車、陪你吃飯、哪怕只是看你寫字——都好。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDCUOrCYrI
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夏陽搖搖頭，眼神溫柔卻堅定：173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nEIB9UvCe
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYO9PkzcnST
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjh2QNuUKd
「爸、媽……謝謝你們今天肯來。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XmPx7JsOW
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuILmK3hE9
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他站起來，背對夕陽，影子被拉得很長。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsPa04EBKe
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66heE2mbL8
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「但我要走了。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPwpPmuGX3
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兩人愣了一下：「去哪？」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH08I5XTEXq
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BSXfD5kbm
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDxUfqRafw
他笑著說：「去做一件事，在還來得及的時候。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISMD2p3MM1
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h6gqs6Vz9
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「我不想讓她哭，也不想你們送我最後一程。我想……她記得的，是我在最開心的那幾天。」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8soKGgo5lM
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媽媽急忙問：「你要去哪？你……」173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHkMe6xODU
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFD0diz7hW
「東北，下雪的地方。」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9zd2P2RlZ
爸爸點了點頭，沒有阻止。只是背對他，靜靜說了一句：
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFGg2RLSSu
「那就快去吧，趁你還走得動的時候。」
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyMfvB6khO
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFI3hg1ONfh
夜裡兩點，夏陽穿上外套，背著那只常背的包，輕手輕腳走出門。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXkzphnqhf
媽媽房間沒燈，但他知道她其實沒睡。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyM1vp2ylo
他站在門邊停了很久，終究沒有打開那扇門。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3m7qNxqDrx
桌上留著三封信，還有一份他自己去訂好的機票副本。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lOfkRTdzT
【媽】
謝謝妳今天陪我，也謝謝你的養育。
我不是想逃，我只是想用我剩下的力氣，再去看一次雪，去完成心裡那點任性的願望。
我不想讓妳看到我一天天虛弱下去，那太殘忍了。
我希望你能每天開開心心、健健康康。
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【爸】
你說得對，我最終還是變得有點像你。
但我知道你不是真的不愛我，你只是……不會說。
我也是。
所以這封信是我能給你的擁抱。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfpGJwcGJw
【小月亮】
你一直問我，如果世界末日來了，我會不會還選擇喜歡你。
現在我可以告訴你，我的世界已經在倒數了，但我的答案還是你。
謝謝你喜歡我。
我想讓你記得的，不是我死去的樣子，而是我們最後一起看星星的那天，還有你抱著我說，我是你的太陽。
可是小月亮，我的天光快熄了。
你要答應我，等太陽落下的時候，你還是會好好活著，照亮別人。
我們分手吧，還有我愛你。
—
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173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3ErE45MgY
清晨六點，媽媽起床，發現他房間空空的，桌上的信躺在光裡。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8Xm0DKzSi
她沒有馬上打開，只是手指在信紙上來回撫摸。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXivhxRZnN
爸爸也收到簡訊提醒，有張圖，是機票的登機證。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjFMzqsinK
而陳冬月，在學校下課時，收到一封沒有寄件人名字的信。她一看筆跡，手立刻抖了。
173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8X0oFGb2n
那天的太陽很冷，冬天剛開始，風大得像一個沒來由的預告。
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她轉頭奔跑出去，眼淚在風裡炸開。
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and then Add to home screen.