隔天夜裡，風從窗縫鑽進來。房間裡很安靜，只有鍵盤偶爾的敲擊聲。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7O8aNOLIC1
賴夏陽正坐在書桌前看著模擬考解答，眼神有些恍惚。他揉了揉太陽穴，覺得最近頭老是痛，胸口也悶得很。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fplSKjVSR
「應該只是太累了吧……」他低聲說，拿起水杯灌了一口。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHPiABO8qd
但下一秒，他突然開始猛烈地咳嗽——
一聲接著一聲，喉嚨像被火燒一樣難受。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1P5YWp7qP
他急忙起身想去廁所，卻沒走兩步就扶著牆滑坐下來。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cRDVAJsJu
咳嗽沒有停，他的手掌按住嘴，卻感覺到一陣濕潤的黏膩。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfT7UaNVyDi
當他看見掌心那一抹鮮紅時，整個人都愣住了。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvf4XtEqavQ
那不是鼻血——
是血，從喉嚨咳出來的。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkrmLKtBiv
—
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLtfWPwUOV
他沒有馬上驚慌，只是安靜地坐在地上，看著那血跡發了一會兒呆。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBBaTEW1BX
「……怎麼會這樣？」
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1We3flrHC
他的聲音幾乎聽不見。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iy17pa5Jl
幾分鐘後，他勉強起身，洗掉手上的血，換了件衣服，悄悄出門。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VAinODsxh
沒有跟任何人說。
他只是覺得，不能再拖了。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNVFBlxQvM
這件事，他必須一個人知道答案。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuPak33SxK
醫院的空氣聞起來總是混著消毒水味道，冷冷的，有點刺鼻。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8tfPfk11N
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPpUH15YIQ
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iYSwvG8XY
賴夏陽拿著掛號單，坐在等候區的角落，帽子壓得低低的，背包放在腳邊。他左手插著口袋，右手握著手機，螢幕亮著，但他根本沒在看。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHwnobm7Vu
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ABKLixIyQ
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRMhAQnpXf
他沒告訴任何人。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHqb1JISkp
不是不信任，只是——不想讓別人擔心。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGkbqWgNzA
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5yat1Xf6L
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHRtDXp2rU
「賴夏陽先生，請進診間三。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlrCsIAQ92
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHI6qG9pR5
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RJKBksvXD
他站起來，深吸一口氣，走進診間。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQYUQQkYkD
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyR3L2sknv
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4cjJRwPHv
—170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55YVpp0ZQM
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFF07VI02av
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOPoS55bOs
醫生是個中年男人，戴著眼鏡，臉上表情一如既往的冷靜與專業。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuw8DsbQiOk
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzOAZbzstP
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpx2mOV2yN
他看著報告，看了很久。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXGGPmsls4
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5texwPc9t
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCZafgw6V5
「你的影像資料我們已經仔細判讀過了。」醫生說，聲音平靜卻緩慢，「目前來看，肺部的異常陰影已經明顯擴散，我們懷疑是惡性腫瘤。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW85Q56d6o5
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡligRQOKxM3
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFup1BpNRN
賴夏陽一時間沒有反應。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABCjrC7obf
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthlWPndh3C
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdE8W1LsKq
他甚至下意識笑了一下：「惡性……什麼？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSEjPwwvEh
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AqruGWuF3
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYzQgxVOlx
「肺腺癌，第三期偏晚。建議你盡快安排更進一步的切片與全身檢查，並與家屬討論治療方向，後天再來做一次檢查。」醫生說完這句，才抬起頭看著他：「你今天是一個人來的？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFOV0hWq3S
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQnbEGhg3g
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI11olcKKk0
「嗯……我爸媽都在外地工作，不方便過來。」他語氣輕鬆，但指尖抓緊了背包的拉鍊。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfW6oj5RM0
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvG8quR1VD
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtcPDDDsaM
「這不是小病，孩子。」醫生的語氣比剛才溫柔了些，「如果你信得過我，我們會陪你走下一步，但你要讓身邊的人知道。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mRCyhnQgB
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLnb1vcC60
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBobR0OEuME
夏陽笑了笑：「我知道了。謝謝你。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bASpgIKVz
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRJpBtWk0F
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrlrutV9Gg
—170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKPAUaLmfA
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R0jx6O9vM
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNDeGJxfpi
走出醫院那一刻，陽光很強。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5tZJ9vEXz
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgmNKFz78j
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkivZW0vLXu
他站在門口的陰影下，低頭看著手裡那份檢查報告。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOIFawgDUw
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9mMh4O3oK
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmDwyH04hD
手有一點抖。他不記得自己最後一次怕成這樣是什麼時候——是國小第一次騎腳踏車摔倒？還是那次父母吵架，把家裡東西摔得亂七八糟？170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtD5IxRJSQe
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRelcc4BSO
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYko1gvjik
都不是。這種感覺更孤單。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ174d0eVSNW
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxdQjTnStV
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKEA67kYTf
他把報告折起來，收進背包最底層。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CaVFoQASu
接著掏出手機，給冬月傳了一則訊息：170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy83F7DPZN
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFk2hmy67xo
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGuUfOJ9C1
【等等要不要吃甜不辣？我今天嘴巴很饞。】170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNhN2wMQcX
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMQPqgiuiL
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznvtUW3u5z
螢幕亮起時，心裡的某個東西也默默碎了一小塊。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6QCwBOwRy
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDMMT73AYI
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJQ1GhaxLn
但他的語氣，還是一如往常的陽光。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ztg4YGULY
這天，醫院裡沒什麼人，窗外陰雲低壓，像雨快要落下。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFUTj01Ilc
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzlKiWTzTM
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfvJ2hvb5q
賴夏陽坐在診間外，一隻手撐著額頭，一隻手握著手機，螢幕停在一張和陳冬月的合照。照片裡她笑得很甜，笑眼彎彎，而他就在旁邊笑著看她。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5r3Bmfatj
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2B2XmuErys
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXN74KEuxUy
診間的門開了。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubf5IsqtK3
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9Zg7hcG0q
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa70yYQuCZB
「賴夏陽，進來吧。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTCufnkr1p
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlNWC5NFaV
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8et3KfvSM
—170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVj5mFdHZT
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdJ83hWTWn
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpGFyIC2ew
這次的報告比上次厚了一些。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHnRX5adQh
醫生沒有立刻說話，而是翻閱資料，再三確認過數據後才抬起頭。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZDp4hQqSC
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhflAq6Zic
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSeG1Bvla7
「夏陽，這次的結果出來了。我們已經進行過切片、影像與血液標記檢查……很遺憾地告訴你——你目前的病情是肺腺癌第四期，癌細胞已經轉移到淋巴與骨骼組織。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0Cf2QOXOK
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuZTMEBOdc
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OPUbA7xdr
他愣了一下，眼睛眨也沒眨，但胸口突然像被重錘打了一下。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW5nrcGepq
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BD5xDm3Ix
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWr8HhDSju
醫生語氣盡量柔和：「以目前情況來看，若不接受侵入性治療，存活期大約只剩下三個月左右。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wOgDGo0E1
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaZpZSEm9O
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9Vjo0Qnvz
「……三個月。」他重複了一次，聲音低得像喃喃自語。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth9aJTVUvM
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ke1u0lWmR
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0UISdKjfO
「是。」醫生點頭，「如果願意配合化療、標靶，或許可以爭取更多時間，但這些治療……會很辛苦，副作用也很強。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHUbQSL0yg
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKX2rpDZHTC
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9FBVF36Hq
賴夏陽沒有馬上說話，只是靜靜地坐著，視線落在桌面某個角落。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrj6rpAlkj
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fzN7X6lM5
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYWc4DAxOB
「這些話你今天第一次聽到，可能會很難接受。」醫生遞了一杯水給他，「你需要一些時間，也建議你讓家人知道，這不是你可以獨自扛下的事。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII0a3dpUxB
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeD36MMqgmL
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rMA7rV7js
他看著那杯水，手卻沒伸出去。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53BCQ8ppYs
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhu4jhWbcX
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OFFy8HxrP
「……謝謝你告訴我。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2Oc9TptK6
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmkdXlNStU
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2VIyMQgwg
「夏陽——」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsO1DKrEDk8
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53a7jcSItx
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDgRGQOfxE
「我知道該怎麼做。」他輕輕打斷醫生，語氣還是那麼平靜，「我只是……還有幾個人，我想再陪陪他們，然後，我會處理好我自己的事。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblcvS42gXp
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTR9P0ft5v
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BpY4XHIQW
—170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ihfXC1gZ0
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz9GkEf1Il
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUANsCenk4
走出診間的時候，他沒哭。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9ejKNo43X
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd83B2VBn5
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFrPKXjdMX
只是手指一直摩擦著褲邊的縫線，像是用這個動作提醒自己還活著。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxricVZUzN
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzFai1MV4c
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBo6FgJOjO
三個月。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvfzxGZIgM
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzx75hdGQs
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcXXMw6y0t
這是醫生說出口，但彷彿用刀刻在他心口的字。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1r1WjvqRy7
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgc4wsmsPKy
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLDceyzVJi
他走到醫院樓下，站在陽光底下。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoZucoEtVT
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEyHqICRan
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1BDhpJSfG
這天的天氣很好，天空藍得像不會崩塌的夢。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLaNmj5Bbl
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmEg7MH2bf
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC2OF4Z1BV
可他知道，自己的世界，開始倒數了。
醫生說，只剩三個月。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngdi9Fl1n2
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtRK4YX208
「不過也有例外。」
「你可以選擇化療，但……機會不大。」
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYoCRjclM6
他搖了搖頭。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh83YGux85v
他想到冬月。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVgREvFchS
不行，他不能讓她親眼看見他一點一點地衰弱。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xLePRhazX
那會成為她一輩子的夢魘。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdviz1DpsAa
他要把最好的自己，留在她記憶裡。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0TQqrqWSb
—
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3HA0JzOaj
那幾天，他突然變得格外貼心，天天接她放學、帶她去吃她喜歡的甜點、看電影、吹風，什麼都順著她。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuXjbptSWg
冬月察覺到他的異樣，卻說不上來是哪裡。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8ClPMq1hq
她只知道，這幾天像一場夢。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcy8T5NaFVy
是他們之間，最美的一場夢。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lAtLKEtjF
—
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXImeWoaR7g
幾天後，他開始變冷淡，不再主動、不再回訊息，眼神也不再柔軟。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCCSesyjU4
她問他：「你怎麼了？」
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawq2boi8ul
他只是淡淡地說：「我們……是不是該給彼此一點空間？」
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7TuPTQIgE
她愣住。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwD4244JnT3
一顆心，瞬間凍住。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrlXQOlwGP
—
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeNmGooCN3
然後，他消失了。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYRh5AfPFz
只留下一封信。
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyVmZDdkdD
「小月亮，對不起，我太自私了。我不想讓妳看著我慢慢死去。妳值得更好的人生、更完整的愛。
所以我選擇一個人去走這段路——
到我人生最後的冬天。」
and then Add to home screen.