THE FOOL. - Hope Was All I Had

There are things… and there are people.

Some I know.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7Q2IOPfDE
Some I love.

And somehow, the ones I love… they never stay.

I never asked for much.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrqWTRLYzA
Not love. Not promises.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSz4f1CpUZ
Just her presence.

But saying goodbye—typing it even—is far easier than living with it.

Because I cared. Deeply.

And now, I don’t know how to remember life before her.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtLTIJLCUU
Before the shared evenings, the bus stops, the laughter, the silences.

Still, I knew I had to let go.

Not for me.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1K25YVXflb
For her.

Because if me walking away gives her peace, then I’ll walk.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9SreUgiyP
Even if it means leaving behind the part of myself I found in her.

But I didn’t want it to end quietly.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNjeTsuC0p
I wanted it to hurt, to leave a mark—because that’s what she meant.

And so, I became the villain in my own story.

I decided: if she needs a reason to forget me, I’ll give her one.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDhOahgSbb
A clean break. A wound that heals with time, not confusion.

So I dug out what I buried long ago—64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSNa9ebmL6
The confession.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eiFtPGYrD
The one I promised I’d never say.

I poured everything into a message—everything I was, everything we were, and everything I wanted her to be.

And one night, between externals, I confessed.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO5Y2Xgn8P
Over WhatsApp.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ONFfy1qVY
No buildup. Just heart.

I told her the truth she never asked for.

And I knew the answer.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmPh2uZUpa
Of course I did.

It would be a no—64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbEEnT1g1a
In the present,64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtlwCz6Bua
In the past,64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaNWWfQQxc
And in any faraway future I could imagine.

But she replied:

“I need some time.”

And I said I would wait.

Not because I believed the answer would change—64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazqS6qFIyf
But because that’s what confessions are for.

To end things the way they should’ve never begun.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jW886hEYT

She asked that if I knew what her answer would be.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4aMO8IpCr
I replied 49/51.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrhgFcnMzA
Knowing damn well that it was 100% a No.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRiroZsyt2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2brSw8Z1J
but something deep inside replied with a 49% a Yes.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaS9tWn90N
even it couldn't say Yes a 50%.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBojqfGW1AO
cause It and I knew from a long time.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhi5cvdDCRm
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCaKXPgjPu
The externals started.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbIgZYcj9t
The rush came back flying.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0lqSPX3Gb
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcs3TyquXd
While I was in a war with thoughts.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEsAIEGdsc
And as the days went on.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTqrPnSFDJ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOaakOkVq5

One random night, while I waited in silence,64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfUjULecKV
The universe had one more tragedy to give.

Outside my home, I sat alone under the sky—my mind a war zone of logic and hope.

My mother stepped out for a walk, along with Potti—my dog, my companion—and her one and only pup.

The pup didn’t even have a name yet.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGW1H2Si4ov
I was waiting for Seren to name her.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYRgBCKEzw
But life didn’t wait for names.

Suddenly, a pack of street dogs came rushing.

They attacked—vicious, fast, merciless.

Without thinking, I ran to them—bare hands, bare heart.

I tried.

God, I tried.

Screaming, pushing, shielding Potti and the pup.

But it wasn’t enough.

They bit me, tore into my arms and legs,64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsKfg7uMiL
while I wrapped myself around the ones I loved.

Six dogs.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNAYrjXSWK
No help.

Until my father and neighbors came rushing.

But by then—

It was too late.

In my arms, Potti lay still—64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Hnkje5J49
Her fur stained with blood, her neck torn.

The pup, her tiny body broken, missing a leg,64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPmHKNmJ3R
barely breathing.

We rushed them to the nearest hospital.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKUxlNNAEL
Tears finally came after years of holding them back.

But hope was all I carried.

And hope was not enough.

They couldn’t save them.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiZCBq7k6l
No one could.

And I was left—64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1J3UYNKha1
Bloody.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hhvCLsuc7
Bitten.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHdS9H5NpY
Alone.

A boy with too many wounds—64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYKebfY5kD
Some you could see.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo99sekRalx
Most you couldn’t.

I didn’t know what to do.

So, that night, I messaged her.

“Hey, are you awake?”

There was silence in my house.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaInADIVkNm
And an even louder one inside me.

I had an exam the next morning.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl43bYlCjQC
An external.

But nothing felt more urgent than that question I couldn’t stop asking:

What matters more—64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXtZw0UeCr
The present or the future?

Until that night, I never even thought about it.

But that night… I got my answer.

Both matter.

And yet, when forced to choose, we weigh them.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmuXE4bfTI
We try to balance what we feel and what we know.

The heart says stay.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SQiLclxaC
The mind says go.

One believes.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLnEuArldA
One doubts.

One clings.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2pXHucZRy
One lets go.

And so I waited for her reply.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ8GdXxQ8g
But it didn’t come.

Morning came instead.

Same bus.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkx0GSYp3T
Same college.

But I wasn't the same.

I wore a mask—like always.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aU7zWAswn
Attended the exam.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiDQdwuMpN
Laughed with friends.64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoOHyTVgc3
Pretended.

Because that’s what Rudeus is for.

But who could’ve guessed?

That in the evening—

After everything had burned down—

The answer to my confession would finally arrive.

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