"Nothing heals heartbreak like screaming Olivia Rodrigo at full volume."
From: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrb7mtBP4IX
To: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRdKD6gvbM
Subject: pettiest playlist of the year goes to… me
eli.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTM4BCgJp6
i made a playlist titled “for when your groupmate uses comic sans and your faith in humanity breaks.”55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FuI1c0ORN
i’m currently scream-singing to track 4 while eating cereal with a fork because all my spoons are in the sink.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbMiSrPPgt
it’s a mood.
– maya55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ9mvkz9c7
sad. dramatic. cereal-forking.
From: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdlypRFc8n
To: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDonaAQ1H8S
Subject: cereal fork is a vibe
maya.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3bih26m1m
track 4 better be “good 4 u” or i’m calling the authorities.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0ZJogSWsj
also, the fork thing is valid. i once drank iced coffee with a knife. no regrets.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGV6mG2vu68
send me the playlist. for... peer review.
– eli55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxkhgzeuTu
music snob, chaos enabler
From: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBmeDYXkKS
To: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRvhYEoQbs
Subject: attached: rage therapy 💕
okay you asked for it.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwkpFBw3R8
enjoy: [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mtUmL00VaYfC0gkEH0Odt?si=uPQWcd-5RuGOfoOppIcfQg] “dear god why do men” — a playlist in five stages of grief, three accidental crushes, and one cup of weaponized spite.
tracklist highlights:
misery business – paramore
better than revenge – taylor swift
good 4 u – olivia rodrigo
brutal – also olivia, my queen
should’ve said no – taylor again, obviously
kill bill – sza (i don’t condone murder, but i vibe)
– maya55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5apgOGlXh
the most dramatic person you never met
From: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYPo03iEeL
To: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbNHgQXirn
Subject: playlist review: violently iconic
maya.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeB1MpXZ93k
i have goosebumps.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG09b4qLRig
i want to fight someone. i don’t even know who. but i’m hyped.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vGhiCGcvd
“kill bill” came on and i almost texted my ex “good luck.”55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZP8hlFpug
i didn’t. but spiritually, i did.
also: “dear god why do men” deserves a grammy for best emotional support.
– eli55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmCRacZbi2
threatened. inspired.
From: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrobXtpRKoN
To: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgecxQEjFrv
Subject: so we’re rage soulmates now?
eli,55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BjTgm8CV7
you passed the vibe check.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbRyfS6Qvd
you didn’t question my musical angst or my cereal fork.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmexy5oH0yi
this feels like the start of something irrationally comforting.
ps: have you ever cried to phoebe bridgers in a parking lot or is that just me?
– maya55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjrTkmLfDN
emotionally stable adjacent
From: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3FDZYdO8L
To: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLQFO7IyC6
Subject: phoebe bridgers made me cry at the DMV
maya.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9OSlfbzK0
“motion sickness” came on. i was holding a ticket that said A132.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDycjnR14j
i did cry.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnbV0oyGv7
the security guard offered me a tissue and a mint.
so yes. we’re bonded now.
– eli55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVKBoy4t75
co-president, feelings club
From: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3dUMz7Cmd
To: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmb39b78Rxc
Subject: certified mood
i would like to formally nominate you as:
my email pen pal
my official heartbreak soundtrack consultant
and co-author of “texts we never sent but emotionally screamed”
it’s a growing resume. benefits include emotional chaos and unsolicited memes.
– maya55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfe9mFLkxA
possibly your new internet pen friend
From: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2IfBreOdG
To: [email protected]55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkY5EkCyPe
Subject: i accept the role
with great inbox comes great responsibility.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkcgI48qMa
you send the songs, i’ll send the sarcasm.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OFEFwzUfE
together we’re like...55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUengckxpOe
the emotional avengers.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8rcyO78U5
no capes though. just playlists.
– eli55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvL6AAye8u
ready to rage, reply, repeat
Attachment: Liner Notes from Eli Martin55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTMvcYazIw
🎧 “dear god why do men” – Reviewed
📝 liner notes by eli, who has clearly felt too much and judged too many fonts
Track 1: Misery Business – Paramore55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEoqsd7e1T
this track made me want to break up with someone i’m not dating.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJ56aUgB4g
⭐ rage level: 9.5/10
Track 2: Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVX3kR6ZNDg
may have shouted “she’s not a saint!” at a squirrel.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWPn5IkliF
⭐ sass factor: 11/10
Track 3: good 4 u – Olivia Rodrigo55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBPzx4WJht
screamed into a spoon. felt better.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcO2dIb0MM
⭐ catharsis: 10/10
Track 4: brutal – Olivia Rodrigo55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4CA5dOgNn
i knocked over a lamp. worth it.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29pEwl9c18
⭐ chaos energy: unmeasurable
Track 5: should’ve said no – Taylor Swift55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcKqORz3BM
the rain cried for me.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7L546sDrhG
⭐ drama: peak
Track 6: Kill Bill – SZA55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieF0tZhgkz
i do not condone murder. but i understand.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvPsz4221P
⭐ emotional weaponry: activated
Final thoughts:55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrUDpSr4cv
this playlist isn't therapy. it's exorcism.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwgwjpWRhm
i feel seen, personally attacked, and spiritually lighter.55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHEXm4Sm36
maya, if you ever make another one — please consider me your chaos consultant.
– eli55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMPpSy8BKc
officially unwell in a poetic way
然後按「加至主畫面」