— No, I don't feel like it.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6vKEmRgNW
— But yes, it will be fun.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sfuSxua93
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUHYbBPsDa
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNzw2U5hGr
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKC2IxnHxM
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBqMuGfK0M
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOsUqzNotW
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNcGRSIjXH
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqBtSkhfXJ
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPpMHAXIWe
I can see by his expression that I have a point.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sKqpI7CSl
— Hello, Megan.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5Bd278CNZ
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGT0yl8LnMG
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCSxlJHXw8
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWQ7sK41qR
— At the high school Halloween party.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQM0zmh0D1
— Good idea ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA7ArJ7zIG
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBnNWP1IPg
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BATFxQP8w
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuehIW8Zw2v
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmy1R786ch
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBjnR8P41k
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcIdRe5gUF
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDr1KcW0MHf
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11hYqT9c0h
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXtG1lyBHQ
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8vyf5Xbxs
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5JHOTKtUI
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiB6wKqITM
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYHuCsoYDy
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNU89qxzV1
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmfmg3l2zT
The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEX5E5Y3L28
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFApyorWug
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbERMD6mPXu
Immediately, I grimace.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62c01m4y6g
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVvuIG4ZZE
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3y2TGPbrk
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLy0a6uonZ
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBXVTKur11
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTt8BKQ1Rl
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwUfKgIgLS
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOXPznxFzi
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9phSI7q5f
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2RxvZl0UJ
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CcZu3dawz
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtWonriIuj
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPFq7u6GDc
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAR0TeCH5A
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7mYTz7a4O
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoskYz4yS8
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUUuxkVkwb
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6teciuTKj
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpKOWPJWYu
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd1cDb3Q77
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoXd19OIlB
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRZxlFmEFj
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZHazhpwgw
— Ah good ? What ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiCTUg2jLE
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoozbitkZEq
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yY44pvxBE
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iImDwiMvc
— No, but I have never been in love.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsJzpAAYvW
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTH66C2I2z
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlXA8v3a4e
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfhJZGMeVE
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGlr8C9VOB
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16AbGiCcWJ
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrJwxLw7wV
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mBhzHBtMJ
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N4qd5GNIK
— Is my dress okay ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNwXRwQsLs
— You are very chic, admire my father.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVbx20Cjg5
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcA5cR5r6Q2
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjjg82WEAb
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbk4jnUEyHZ
My mother laughs.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLLHTKqRhe
— That’s definitely your idea ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvji31SbqX
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90mQ0jifXH
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0jldHRhan
— Yes, he’s great ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9l1n6ZgOJ
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2pXDPuFFW
— We are just friends.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxZW6npJ93
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcge0WxR10q
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJfHdNylyQ
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbh71xuZAy
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXkKlSyIKJ
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXg58tGM2l
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscxdF1QNiA
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoTCaRikt2
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MDIbDtk0R
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0LtS64ja0
— I go ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQv6gJgWba1
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIs4t7boiEc
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvkpA8ySyJ
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBLAuDBzpa
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoETfJI0SD
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgUWc9nrX5
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILyezFfl4X
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC672ZisqOx
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dmKgiv2vU
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kRII2CbQS
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnmhQFrIzt
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DQag1QqqH
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DBiJdL0zZ
We burst out laughing.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡob6t1sORQF
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss4Wo1FuJD
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GdWfejKCa
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4Cy9xyuGl
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzFuHaZKim
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eehbOQ2fS
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Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq99tFmuRMt
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6rlUE9dyt
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zR1mYZ9jW
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Z3kT7oZcL
He is suddenly serious.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkx0cwD6WN
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9DeF7PvsQ
I want to tell him, but I hold back.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVltbpU2Si
Instead, I answer him : 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILg4UGK5wR
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6UZz2bztd
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQFEcFAHfI
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqKyS5syhh
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONsgnr3wab
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQztxCbIKK8
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACpkjeWOVy
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0IZ6qDWKB
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPX28wPHZf
— Who wants to start ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlVAS8y220
Jessy and I exchange a look.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHhwiDb93R
"Iron, Meg."308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdr1AdlyFZ5
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtJ5fhuglO
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2zX6lUgsC
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcWQQ73OXH
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedZeRY5J6E
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5TavzUjlr
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtb43tSXXvt
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdwgvGfuhT
— Thanks.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7797YWSVt
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPuK2lkoBZ
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDk6TRzCE8
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5qWVrgjCz
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhiThdmtIK
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllCsbcGWbv
She turns over another card : the Hermit.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqx0TlEUOh9
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgvqKeiyz9
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihDTygzc5J
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uGrEOLo43
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz7W3L5efD
She turns over the last card : the World.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBc4ixzaEct
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoF2cEw4KL
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyBf6EWI5k
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQg6rW9SUHq
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0F1WhAnxYe
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9sJ6H082z
— Jessy, are you okay ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSAAkBkOoh
— Yes, very good.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbtbYN6El0
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6KnTszy3n
He stops and turns to me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjM0VGR0t8p
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbxeYlbZ8H
— It wasn't that clear to me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy651JcbRrp
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVgJ8k30SB
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIyHauLVuY
My reply makes Jessy laugh.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsP7VyJ2gNl
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmFzKFdfuZ
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7iIEJ956X
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFkRDo6uFu
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdW7q2bK93W
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZtYql7alc
— You are thirsty ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZqyfQzSF1
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdYpWwgP1Z
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdpwS56wzp
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YEpfMEXK6
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNC1Uu3Kfi
— Come Dance.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡog3PxGyz7c
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07jDRK71oG
— I thought you didn't dance ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZoALWhNbP
— I never said that.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTDAIZeSv3
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhptJeacdx
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLMOO9CX6E
— What is…308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLuYet7bLr
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrrMBssqA9
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtMOUMpakK
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmPsnt9Hw4
We lean against a car.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGw6vPVB3s
— Why are you shaking ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXXwscJwne
I question him timidly.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIubTSVYLu
— I don't really want to talk about it.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUoGg0CQ7y
— But you are livid ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFS6RmFbkE
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmdjG71nWt
— Agree as you like.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h69fUILgA
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkZvqarm7i
— Shall we go back ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZWEpgyTYP
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE49FUzN3N0
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvw5xWSpJDu
— All that ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvBzwUgnnf
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oLj6VkTV3
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqb8Z3DbxS
Jessy turns to me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHii2nUfnr
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPOwKMFfhR
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2gwN4OBYi
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkz7z7dT14
He nods silently.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jCRc5EDZK
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B2xQCiHSo
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzF2AoasaA
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBfH9zCVxt
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLZJcf1U4g
A black car stops next to me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07EZvvAK3V
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GpX0bUqOw
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOaXzcFbEv
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JAHyUTxZI
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1nLb2mGrJ
— Where are we going ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwvmGRHeny
— It's coming ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvQh9LvLqc
— At the cinema ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNoB0tKV56
— Non. 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FxQ8E8foz
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFI81QnfW2
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlj76dKXxB
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdjilqU3P4
— Your parents won't be worried ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmr5aclAr08
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEfB736vRg
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8YSLuCAyM
Still want to come ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ocLwLMFft
He gets onto the highway.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIo0GvxAcL
— Totally ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmN8ldd7fTO
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbrBaXc994
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEZJiMlNZL
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvnMWGkTqM
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTxtEHKvvm
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCSWLbEAaf
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFidsFGH4C
— Is this where you lived ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiax95v6fwt
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwrZt17XUt
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nKmD8vNSu
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZ5CVBgGVX
— What ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eGawHqPYT
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfrLBVW5aX
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8TcZvId68
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSblY0em66c
— Come on, let’s go.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo6QeM3Vbn
I remain stunned.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxw3dlm4W5F
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2AGP2rBHS
He stares at me, his face frozen.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxz3FgUTfp
— I am scared.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnROCpT5U4
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NDeIBYozK
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfj3BatZbk
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvTcCK4sju
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJYkd93bMr
— Did it go wrong ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZUt0bfL4Z
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnOcUU2rat
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnW9rKnsn8
— Haley died five months ago.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUiAgjUS2E
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRX1lUDrNk
— Is that all his mother told you ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKklYCpALMW
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA7QLdENzq
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcXaQ2kMlz
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4QicLo6AD
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGkiDRGhW6
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPMuQ3t6NF
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfXgIr7Rhx
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhMczUoqpW
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6jVXTvdfq
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4jsICrxRQ
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlskaiancxk
Soon his fist is bloody.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaYtQj5q4S
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFAUsmDorP
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpIUT2uliO
— For what ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlte2JwMijo
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFXvCgigiT
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3Uv72Sqj1
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyeyynkWdh
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAM4gD6OJKV
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64CQqEabdV
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTG4BYfhLc
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPXyLDxI1e
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevDDjqXsGE
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsmVWJQrfG
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuG8dBWEs9G
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQi7qeFv2f
— Why do you feel relieved ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJgMaxBp0g
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NOotpch1q
— For nothing, forget it.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaFV2y2qQj
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJhOCNldyn
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuprjHl41b
He looks at me, incredulous.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hjQEOdpZI
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTiBEWVgn5
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKI10HoFwh
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGJY9AmFYw
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafw89YbHfh
— I'm not going back with Chad.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwsQ28GJaQ
— It's true ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqeF7dBzVu
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBfDGCsfec
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVMOJcm42D
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEopUvq6xU9
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGFZ122Y8f
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHQWfEFHFX
I fiddle with a button on his coat.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSBwFf8ine
— It's true.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5269dcHvp
He purses his lips and says : 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG60IZPqqV2
— Do you want to go out with me ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLujN1fjPkT
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9nMX4Jo3M
Jessy gives me a big smile.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzT8kPC11k
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7L2VYpzvA
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJ8mIqrh7x
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSIV8j6BcQ
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qDZ4yi1h3
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHR4PUA3gVU
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxBXvhx0YL
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYObSYin8l
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucytFb5CRA
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJPFIB9ZVE
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKj4te2xuun
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmyLB4o1h3
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXawzgb1GF
— Where are we ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7uMmFAedj
— Come with me.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0epvJUuzMt
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ483XkOl6mC
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4mrQ9ee8D
With tears in his eyes, he nods.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhK22NgcHN
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IE7UMz0io
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAgs5Hq3Zb
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52NMOwG0Gy
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsnOYh4dPE
— No, it’s meant for you.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXNPgYiDSf
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaLqhbLJzu
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2j1BcW35S
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Jessy, 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmFs9xBwox
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwrQl3r8rX
If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhb9R2KEUgO
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDp0gYRgjCC
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlMvWE6iHT
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyraF21yiLG
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZW2Kbtxv45
308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs78GHrGvIx
Haley 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLlFjWvGQG
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKBludoHUz
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EBRI6f2RG
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4C1lc7x4E
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSWeoRgBaw
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQ6aNDXIL8
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLxdBa9E5y
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dvKiJWdPp
He holds out his hand to me. 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8up2NgNru3
— With pleasure.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFAWblXbVO
« I’m on your side 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nR8eSv5Kc
You know I’m not the enemy. » 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4G4nJwbhD
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qECz3B9Qb
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehgeP2OFkD
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MId6jrLwy
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkDRKe0v3p
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JtKz9oDEL
« I’ll hold on to you. » 308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkFkBUbJQe
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wZGinZbNP
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »308Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbKTLNvjLN
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