— No, I don't feel like it.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZeMML7J3V
— But yes, it will be fun.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9YB2Aqkaa
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYAHv6mLsz
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeN8eCzAFx
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpy4eqiPreV
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanAgrDimZ7
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWkmqA3A3b
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgEjQDhiQJ
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlIx6fqK1K
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaiCRKMGU0
I can see by his expression that I have a point.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJNPbdRi0x
— Hello, Megan.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAobQlsJVcW
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8GNoMupn1
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhIg9q0U5C
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQSlgDYaEI
— At the high school Halloween party.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6plaQDTlke
— Good idea ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLBBHaE9sG
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirzPwy3XGv
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMA2Gh9k1s
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfeAh6BXnM
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YesuGeZsK
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGkXjwz7gQ
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaN5dFTkmA3
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9xqi0ZD0X
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUyNUP1C67
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCnQHGIpn3
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjb1YNynWuq
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5L2pQIkLhd
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQ4DIsagmM
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaccT3HiA3
449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcqIUQgbiX
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The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnpBkIEwyS
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Y6jPhKCnt
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8ZNqrnEiK
Immediately, I grimace.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqOKbJkCQn
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVZH9SHgQI
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbfvOrdK3y
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToda9EXGfy
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQuwwgwQNB
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWKtE2iXkn
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2Rpp55UNO
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPkJnJuhwV
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOViFmnZxj
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiOP19grtq
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jzwgg01X8
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUTSXaUFim
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpUEGAdyc8
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRazbBLeDi
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHrh9CamBf
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKh4Qi9Iwm
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MIw9XKNRq
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZepX5TDq8
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeK7OawvDzp
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡismSqbIhN9
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEL9HoZSIX
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhSwRvNDpo
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH2JgkSx12
— Ah good ? What ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EAQYOFqsR
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtN7jeh6sK6
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6peP2Tmxk
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSP9dM5Dw0
— No, but I have never been in love.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqemCG8bxR
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3w8k9OLimn
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3QZRDfR2I
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhN2ORKq3u
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6HoEDTrMe
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRvuGvMzqC
449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19MAapdS7t
449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhDiuaznBo
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMcRTQ5Utt
— Is my dress okay ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUk6Rar1bRw
— You are very chic, admire my father.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB06mZE4wX
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1EqjCwMo3
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNjyMrvE9u
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRq35BqbwX
My mother laughs.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNVAM79wGt
— That’s definitely your idea ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6St9dVCUWn
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26qr6Mjsuu
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ673HSp8zGl
— Yes, he’s great ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkpPKMUSsB
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HiCbzLm3c
— We are just friends.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBkgy9oVwD
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWbFjM7MIV
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwaScLw1eY
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWtc01wG33
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaqx8f1Qb8
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcsHNnzW4A
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bnNq3519d
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbimsEeMSw
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHNYmCyW9M
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ejh8aO3Ss
— I go ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt4qsdAl2V
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTqhmlV2a2
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyNtSmhHaH
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKutKEl5i9N
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxMffsF9bK
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8Nl7mn1k0
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zoxyvgLDk
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlN5UDURI29
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurl1JptHbR
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJNA9gjr53
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRMDMtD2U7
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrvz8B9so3
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUmt1Inh2f
We burst out laughing.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5j5Rk4hZG0
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXmfVBdaNg
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHC6wskn9r
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHB6cFrwnM
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V26yRSXfF
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Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjkdRs69dU
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbounTveLEA
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6axeq6FRdS
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFizPcQqf7
He is suddenly serious.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSWcSMTGnk
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOGkSzwhaj
I want to tell him, but I hold back.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26StYbsNsL
Instead, I answer him : 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCEau9bvDo
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1h2wpbLXJX
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUNI5jzfvR
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtDTZjIvMf
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZCISZfrug
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO19cRtMaq6
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoTEju71Bx
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DsHRCUJuU
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUO88t0w6Q
— Who wants to start ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrv9AAUZlM
Jessy and I exchange a look.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPpbis31Cl
"Iron, Meg."449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pTJEyDJC6
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvTgUf1MnT
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccI2VY5wYE
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSBuKDMaUa
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPqOSdpiGg
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkeJ3MGy1K
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoi3hi3Yh37
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFOP4oExaV
— Thanks.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVL2DRSqHwP
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqY2JblJht
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0E5jgTUPVt
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefDWYRm40E
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ284lUl04IE
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlARJVc2vj
She turns over another card : the Hermit.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCk9rGGxdHI
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1nuaA3Xwu
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2FP9nYBY6
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrwoFX4lXu
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vKgdvHg39
She turns over the last card : the World.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiFgKYgjDO
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW305iD8Ml8
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3q6HSZD5ks
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Or6c4OKeu
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfieBYrarn
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwzbcsceMl
— Jessy, are you okay ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgj8WDRwpFE
— Yes, very good.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxcds7Bu56
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtbHjEFirw
He stops and turns to me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjF7zEkVtyc
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsc6mdCSTOt
— It wasn't that clear to me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf25kPDdyDq
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5816OPxEi9
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKnE4ojZcI
My reply makes Jessy laugh.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHjPVT8mQf
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mLQeYhaQ3
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpRlxBy1So
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZhZj9EeRf
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkCet4Bi8B
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FOGoZsevC
— You are thirsty ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM05ee9DxAm
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9ezmwlsfK
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxwECFw1jm
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrULOqoa7f
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjYXKaTqud
— Come Dance.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85vmKvWiiV
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCNTF5REoD
— I thought you didn't dance ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DcmPcRICt
— I never said that.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RZkB0B32x
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTccyO7Z2W
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZ2G7FLpdB
— What is…449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5d63eupTe
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJAn2NBvzY
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSj45CTjjx
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCC3QW8nyF
We lean against a car.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcy6SZUKV1y
— Why are you shaking ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLUp6eyNsH
I question him timidly.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HkyZd2BlF
— I don't really want to talk about it.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxixigH6qyd
— But you are livid ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jF8R3NqUa
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pGhxqNkLI
— Agree as you like.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEHiR9w0x9
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKQksJHqJp
— Shall we go back ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTASM3xg7w
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQxe3eQw96
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3rEURU7xY
— All that ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozr7X0uvhH
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpP0Z1dTaay
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUIZCrh7Yg
Jessy turns to me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrbAlWWSwy
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxg1uokRJ8
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbC9VahS49
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmDhISiPXO
He nods silently.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbG09gWmvDM
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARxekbJ2Bl
449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamWmrswflA
449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4Het3uqjd
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvFZpONFtc
A black car stops next to me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ctfvMHF5C
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALNCqBDwbX
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVPiv4xaVY
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvI7IRF1EB
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVixocN0CU
— Where are we going ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHJZZI1cvs
— It's coming ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQxjPHQUd9
— At the cinema ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIIVCcc9Sx
— Non. 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RNCkBf61c
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡov3SDZE4Cv
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiy3Iig9dR
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexkzMgNfpB
— Your parents won't be worried ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLrzaDrku8
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkhxOyV9rE
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXmRnNTBFr
Still want to come ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwqlX1PmCL
He gets onto the highway.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBuIZilETI
— Totally ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqAwv818nF
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFupkFH4jg
449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4FKkTFXfG
449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUYk2ghwt4
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hqQf3qyfs
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9L1Okjniv0
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWaWOHvd11
— Is this where you lived ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXOBXvjpls
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjw2c26z9Oq
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZBqXKtN3d
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrC91tmdBz
— What ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJ3jhhpzrr
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJd1RA54i01
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGz2e9C9VT
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGagpRSY8l
— Come on, let’s go.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5x5sGas5U
I remain stunned.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0U5Kr67LdW
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2W6ZNM1Ki3
He stares at me, his face frozen.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kerYLDoGh
— I am scared.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxgIKDTC0a
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6eo2H42Uj
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6HWvljgr2
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4ccVOwh7G
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nCrgasVdY
— Did it go wrong ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62vJxDteIQ
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXOF55vXLU
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkXAN2WYDY
— Haley died five months ago.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntYiGcBkp8
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTmsnWZiqA
— Is that all his mother told you ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO83n8zZ69
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsWCXPgXh5
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgvKqaH1Ez
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0zVpfqbk4
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3v8YTitJL
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKowVQ35g0F
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRngqy8rYI
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQD53B7ABE8
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPSMATOLju
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1m7wYR8g0o
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCKSYaciz4
Soon his fist is bloody.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXg1pCQeGY
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmqyIf51Wb
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejl3oSxlE2
— For what ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOALgLPZhYe
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7Ah472kqH
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l2eYYk6Y2
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHe3QGsrvw
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vQ4FOw76p
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafr5iCSGsN
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMB1jFxTfS
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2DbUFZhpF
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZLHWNEPUz
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zWKTtcroK
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vWK54ERBO
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJwLNCRk1j
— Why do you feel relieved ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUh8W0N02O
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyeoz15oR0
— For nothing, forget it.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsfA3ogELO
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4Gc3slIEq
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiJPBQkVc0
He looks at me, incredulous.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HeIt6ce3A
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Hf2KPLHEI
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr3GgMX21o
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EcQouhNvl
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNoLk92du4
— I'm not going back with Chad.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwN8CgrAYit
— It's true ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrwIgM0hxD
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjsQrOG0jx
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxv7nPxzf9
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXiqhoex43
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEHovkUFqN
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmgpxrQ8Or
I fiddle with a button on his coat.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrV1iimLQN
— It's true.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6Va18kdhA
He purses his lips and says : 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMhopIPpgi
— Do you want to go out with me ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Mtp0tddfj
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpoI1s4acd
Jessy gives me a big smile.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeO9O84QGv
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kEb1tZabx
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tBPFgfAfa
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxZhxswdrH
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwxCZAvAHy
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwr21RbgYIU
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsqTsDDbsa
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6wKZuGnAM
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9L1jFXqUX
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVSzTN0IsX
449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZTUu8IciB
449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8v1FDdg2cm
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarQ4osgDHr
— Where are we ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodAtINtiwa
— Come with me.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd4tnS8Wbp
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbN0jKtPq3
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLMSuxBI6h
With tears in his eyes, he nods.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwi3YrGQaO9
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQf9FS681r
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡma2yf1btIt
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUl4uq337Nq
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fr5p6kPtj
— No, it’s meant for you.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JUZsHmSRy
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCd9JgnHtF
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjDkNm9Oya
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Jessy, 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPPfy6Ewvg
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If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6D92smFBw6
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb9TK1K3NF
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLmkPocuRw
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCyWQUAK6K
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pjP3TChN5
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Haley 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOqnw4bLFd
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJk2ari6BU
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pYJJR0E7h
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheNvbFviZG
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLPWuQhSFv
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxGrEwsS6B
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXa29FCv2N
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheYZKYSid4
He holds out his hand to me. 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLi2HObJKw4
— With pleasure.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrzR2VWkdf
« I’m on your side 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lsbuSjwai
You know I’m not the enemy. » 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4fgKVDnTx
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ501ErOjzDg
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsUJkxKwvD
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8jGAV66FW
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdluDskgJg
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGDMVpMESf
« I’ll hold on to you. » 449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEQa7nsMxs
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNmctEbP2i
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »449Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGn0WwYRy0
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