— No, I don't feel like it.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKh0hPnQ2O
— But yes, it will be fun.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45T2rLnNBh
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMkHDRU8mH
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIizWgrNbr
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6JoZOv4YA
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPL1Btu04vY
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3gdTvZAkp
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIgL7GHZWl
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpukikhFR4
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOyYn2ycW3
I can see by his expression that I have a point.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSY2tejHpb
— Hello, Megan.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6sJzvebFU
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrTeWdUilJ
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoaEScU0lI
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwCM54DKfN
— At the high school Halloween party.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrALZctsDh
— Good idea ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCBcV4jt0s
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDqnEIAlCE
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtvgYIpTJ4
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgQHYJ8FA3
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlfKcNt5ob
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUrgEXEZZ0
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXtcb3Swot
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSR5bnvkXl
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBl19LOXSC
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWPlAR01EZ
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrW8rl6seYr
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJQbkLwQnA
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRxDgrGzyF
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdO2GD3XcnH
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIhJiyLES0
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuHQknjjfi
The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1jxLq6cGs
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxu6ZO1rIzg
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkVjh9H9vq
Immediately, I grimace.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDkRCStHxX
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAIHzNytaa
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqob95TB00
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCOcllILdJ
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDtIHizAyq
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8AJJxH7xk
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftcje0foAu
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1DtnI6n35
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3haDwfNhi
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM13jEK1dj
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrB0vjjIP3d
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuzpr1OuSM
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCAmBHaRzC
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUl5LdwESQ
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoGFPDeARQ
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyv3Mdlkuq
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTbamvgGNE
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpySZsqb69a
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWW5MJ7bQD
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECAzcNiiU3
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfoY4atkNA
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sXizQh0V9
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxEt87ut6I
— Ah good ? What ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnAUmG5et2
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeHjMkSpOs
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1J6Dojegi
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayoS2UzcT2
— No, but I have never been in love.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFERxG4ApMx
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9k4FMvzZN
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbztUCCgeA
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolGhTK2a7w
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc227N143te
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLcExeDMcJ
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxvJnYT8Zg
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7QoqCkmYG
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxWkRuCNeh
— Is my dress okay ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWia6Q9I7BZ
— You are very chic, admire my father.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfs0RUPm9u7
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8gYoBu5gf
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLFXQhylLs
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Xkh4Pghwe
My mother laughs.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioHwKrdNm1
— That’s definitely your idea ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6jFSRRtoV
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsUBI9ShL3
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1STzPpBKoq
— Yes, he’s great ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZ7OfojYZe
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kYOOSzDUY
— We are just friends.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk59Bnzu8Hp
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGY9bF7VLo
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa7RHAJMvU
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEliYCp0s8f
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBHJ57pDhf
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9lKuOvELG
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fD82ls6dy
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg3FkmpQTO
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp33JmWlaR8
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkKwZVOFCY
— I go ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2RNQcOThw
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ721KlMzDB
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0m659jAnut
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzE6UATEYz
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15K37kaxIN
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaTG9IhRr1
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hNFt5OFjE
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0A8qUyTAs
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5YnIGmUvr
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzacnuEiqJl
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiN7RzgZF8x
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Kv69bZMFk
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2ZOms8wKz
We burst out laughing.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgIolwLPm5
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacTy2kmJcW
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYCut6O8gN
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnxHCcg7MF
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtikUyxlCU
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8nwPo28kX
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtlsTxYt28
Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKazgyaT8iz
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuCIcv6Tr6
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8fpPhXPPv
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqFAt4vA8n
He is suddenly serious.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz5mVMU3KZ
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCOQmJj6j7
I want to tell him, but I hold back.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNp1yaC81BY
Instead, I answer him : 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1WWLYizAS
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa05BI4MXSy
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8GSd6PKOk
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIN4iXZXCK0
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6lbanwtVX
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7j0vMWylbF
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWyY0r6CTW
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcD2p6iIT1a
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7bmJYpNAG
— Who wants to start ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquJFMfHhHk
Jessy and I exchange a look.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcemmTwDzvX
"Iron, Meg."340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhG8VkF4bnB
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ9X6LxBhe
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPW9b7IoYFM
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeS3LHAMZ7a
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7jPImK7Lu
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdRuID5FO4
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkV8cx8qbnY
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYndWZvfLDe
— Thanks.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVMqcjxvgA
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJYAmd4GM9
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhj5OqJugAu
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fWmE8tfGq
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQj3ztXk8l6
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdQKTN5tpu
She turns over another card : the Hermit.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqR5SucVt8
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaYggSs096
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsft4gQAIu
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42vV1WnxEY
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RytruPX4L
She turns over the last card : the World.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5MZB7pnNv
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGQLNtmcTf
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FgF1VlDV2
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYC5mH0Gggt
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyXdjgonor
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wMqcymquS
— Jessy, are you okay ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pufU3MUgE
— Yes, very good.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7kqOsbeHi
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9vajcGNCl
He stops and turns to me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgUW3v80Sv
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pKXuuocUk
— It wasn't that clear to me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEYYTo1fkJ
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12pqXMxsNq
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfz27u473x
My reply makes Jessy laugh.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKHRdluX5N
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxOfeC2Arg
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsF6jGTjIOw
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrK9UwkIGJ
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DdgnMlz3o
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDd6qyg0Eaf
— You are thirsty ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpdB8YNUZF
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiceq1iHIJO
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPlVo7rEPa
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lZIcCfU8s
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgH7Bp8nGzq
— Come Dance.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNRiIEi82A
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwnH1Yzv7x
— I thought you didn't dance ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOj91gbN3F
— I never said that.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0mKj9B0B4
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjkGRALEJy
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXNg5y94qT
— What is…340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaYNihqpZC
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkZGPMiJCL
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfUkdSWJzr
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTu7S7GAmds
We lean against a car.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnk1cjdevg
— Why are you shaking ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUvhBRR9aA
I question him timidly.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoEyarTIMf
— I don't really want to talk about it.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKw9lj9dxl
— But you are livid ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSifv511qQ
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFOKDzlcz6
— Agree as you like.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Y0YyUenIP
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ139noYz76K
— Shall we go back ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzooHs3Y9Bi
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzHbGf5V2T
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8TKNjOQSy
— All that ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaT6piRwYfH
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7GTPlVv6f
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIlgk29DsT
Jessy turns to me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIQOjQS3y6
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK99Vmy5ldM
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vDEdUx5nh
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQ7KpQuz50
He nods silently.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJgtejnJeK
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpKjn8Rzkr
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwCskXRLTS
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7oMbTDX5o
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ohlaCBpiZ
A black car stops next to me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJrz68E6bg
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtbLbO4PMR
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJqIL7SCzl
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPo6UlXd1L
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAnrglORMO
— Where are we going ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGwjZJtXAZ
— It's coming ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHHJtfv94V
— At the cinema ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdSvW4GL1c
— Non. 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnwYxRW2qC
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtuhMUq0q9
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAkGd1PbTo
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3afM6Ca6is
— Your parents won't be worried ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiGBjzNrPE
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8cRpo1jVz
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCovs7kQMG
Still want to come ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69Bb0Bq3uN
He gets onto the highway.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDKQtrSOGS
— Totally ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIpbbhjWlx
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARU541ZsVB
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fbF6iiaE4
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTLymDjbuQ
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpviqYuRuF
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LlYSs4YKi
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0uapyYfje
— Is this where you lived ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAAIWPHQjM
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87lX9MxS7E
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESwFtOEdco
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoi5H9pdAki
— What ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgritcZEq5
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvihnNOQIv
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSaK9JqB0N
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuf72BdRF4g
— Come on, let’s go.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kSzmZW2u3
I remain stunned.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfz6MPKQGu
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4ZWK3Mcqe
He stares at me, his face frozen.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKOucbgxms
— I am scared.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8bi1fJvSJ
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvWHQhGvlW
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7950wRuZj
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aeeumWODk
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20ECa17Cmg
— Did it go wrong ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIk18q5NB3B
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsJW6kRCKI
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2ZlCMh1yS
— Haley died five months ago.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFW8j5iCNG
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TOEVExzAW
— Is that all his mother told you ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQuLWDMeSF
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuldPsvCpSi
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQWh5QJNA2
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9AvmX2PiQ
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZslkPosLB
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYkgcelYLd
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkot2k3Z3Q
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76oWOSf0tL
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUL6bxhNzzf
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2xBRxLksa
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7q7qwsVv5
Soon his fist is bloody.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGnCNHhIUK
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmicADWOJJ
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVE16sVNRE
— For what ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcOny2PoTm
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8WLTfApci
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW57H07VfXv
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26YNPLew1h
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6gsMffcpq
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMv1iYzTc4
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QmuVZztNK
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGlmiZ36K5
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtfFBakYu3
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7a3xiAxhs
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3KbHoVcjq
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JtsyuIjKi
— Why do you feel relieved ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16RgI0dwMm
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoguLhBAHr
— For nothing, forget it.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEKCQT4Gpr
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMIDVpRq7z
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FIM4vf6uO
He looks at me, incredulous.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGQEGsIemJ
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNePQ8xozDd
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFGXX4Dzse
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSswOcFLHWj
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmAIPytIMA
— I'm not going back with Chad.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGq5GGZ0eC
— It's true ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVRz0Evycn
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQ1P94Tfqy
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4t57UCTgR
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIREi48ugsj
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwdZCdRhSE
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF2cNrYcmB
I fiddle with a button on his coat.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNZZzjFwuD
— It's true.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuyP1OiuNa
He purses his lips and says : 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtGJCL5HxN
— Do you want to go out with me ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kenqEKZRt
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb6RznDy4J
Jessy gives me a big smile.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwY1yWbWugk
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9lS6j2c2o
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89c7PcozAh
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9UjHVB8aS
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjE5s3Q2sQ
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuQ9FRYGAl
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZscIQT0qD
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvFglukHc1
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK98B5Pqxsr
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaA2N5B2Es
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpU8zW6V4oL
340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3cHMpmSVj
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOe80bTB01S
— Where are we ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uRUm4s4XZ
— Come with me.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZ5IqPo8yM
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpSoxYCGcb
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINj23N2PNj
With tears in his eyes, he nods.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6wqxQJnyF
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToUNQg4Xrt
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHP0yF4pZb
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPkQI2115Y
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlijmg2b0l
— No, it’s meant for you.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyDXhu3diX
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhhHUOvSki
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UnNKT7D1f
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Jessy, 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bSb7ggM7F
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If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0Qhn73PVY
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDR7jkqmnD
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZY5ROFiyUy
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpr9zPnDT55
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qtl1Exf6s
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Haley 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjggwCRI4G
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FBuggTJHM
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecdfVLHfVc
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TG16Y2hiE
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHeB5oGlmk
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3ZfBFmoCW
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR9wXFoet5
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3Y4i3qlrC
He holds out his hand to me. 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡje1DCZz85g
— With pleasure.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OUp7h6oRB
« I’m on your side 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllw4a5k9mq
You know I’m not the enemy. » 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJspnXuxWpz
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9jZYLIIZK
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSFAOUNulw
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QbEfRI1HC
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WoLwnoe3S
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZDVMy1pfj
« I’ll hold on to you. » 340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSe891elVd
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUG8fckWgT
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »340Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwotIZahIj
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