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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJimUR51sL9
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUa29g53MW
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIe7M0uAWR
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKF7JvSIfD
— Ok I hear you.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7WCP2yf1j
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SCqYQAJnP
— A tattoo ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFmhuswXjL
She nods energetically.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZY5JpaDJkG
— While you are still a minor ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52XVTAqSSI
— Soon to be an adult.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXxXPL2dH2
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwX0EBCSTYa
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B0ed57S4a
— No way ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bG7ze9aEl
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06RtKRXbRv
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrqRcM5UAA
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WvT09MK9Q
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSrKvvyGD0
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC42qAdJXQ6
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hA8OcecgF
— She’s not a cool mother ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhZZ1R76RZ
I decide to join them in the kitchen.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIvIWopgNY
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qu5qKQvZ5
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxu6mfvf8W
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCdc3WqNXM
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA8GiupiRw
My son looks at us, imperturbable.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYJQtjg3Tg
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfN9TjnfuGh
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDAjBFqpoG
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6ROAlOlD0
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYs2qWdMyZQ
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSADNGH49bP
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxaTNsZQUM
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdi2xKFT31
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpHHTEUhPQ
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUbNOvOVUy
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7E7jndCYj
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49jDBlfG3x
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJlabjsBxZ
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4WGHEXWQf
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KxwuLJEz4
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDdyil6am5
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlA8GNk9XZ
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgKQp8rsY9
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwSbLjTCGt
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrURhiAS4B
My father coughs and chokes.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UI1JykE1i
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvC9OQohrm
I nod yes.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6NF1V1YiN
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcN0JS5wKfX
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32tRBwGzuL
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9VWYZGPb7
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaZMFLjwO8
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVz1HAikoO
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzYK6Vc4lg
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMtppaSU3s
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9oPoNl0AL
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRVgeLu0r9
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MaXwJoIlG
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBTQZ1IU9O
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gfxR1Lzii
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3gBHF0xV6
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEdaAZiqsm
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ikNyLIIHv
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiOVg6uPi7
— Yes Megan.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVgpciNlog
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiz75r1NKZ
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhm6DCH8ojI
Many raise their hands including the new one.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN94hEZruVE
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNAPa2Pav5
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrSgUgWF0R
— Perfect, Jessy ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInna74627J
Jessy… 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshZVKmy1m9
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcXTKsrwkK
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz49tg6QGPF
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTl8avzaErb
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDpGZmbswz
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo5PtZNlqT
My cheeks immediately turn red.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7l4puYQngR
— There is nothing to say.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDVuY3nvMz
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAjx8HOiIo
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfSPieDpwM
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvkwWNXtjC
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mciu1S2Pr
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7lSdJQdJm
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgZpxF8PWW
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHU0aOQrQPa
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKHwcR5cz3
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaeOnyg0bg
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJ6NVCznNa
— I learned a few things about him...471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEI35kAmi5v
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAnXOULZNs
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3PcoMz6gj
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgiNpvmeBn
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O9qqL6j3G
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ryxCsCm0T
When I don't answer, he continues : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0hWT7qjoa
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojf5ZFbYLG
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIUowreQvr
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFEAoAXIMp
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcCbUuFxpB
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtJDu1xFRb
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CUiNy7zTM
Why am I blushing ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJhplqrt7H
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPjA71HniI
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrtNXWaYDS
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLN8mDDvmcB
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqewBXvrb5z
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLUJBXFu6t
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbbUogMQS5
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2t0DXETuNv
— Where were you ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ342oayCanL
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68QfdVhe0B
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TUykuBXrC
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztvDJdKPRM
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoQSYFYhTW
— This guy is weird ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHl4KMVHkZ
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjpxAC8bgq
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yEIUALe8p
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ErM2wYjVE
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOer6DyCoc
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT65ULHeOOX
— I am coming with you.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpGLCuPujd
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlThKPRj0u
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yIAZCWMVK
My boyfriend raises his voice.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8VDfB176h
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFaGdlLJh2
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPrslfnjRS
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wf1D0XDTS
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzG6cHpNqg
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKYJ4ZKhLK
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUcqQ2FRx8
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FK1D249kk
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIemP0m77Vn
Having little choice, I accept.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52fw3G73aj
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqmAK0ADJF
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8OznG1cQk
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5y2Z0ShaBG
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuXci3VJEn
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimNORXkPUs
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudnsnd1t5Z
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuIXP9xDqh
— What are you talking about ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblPprcBRD1
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIo1Iuy69c
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOM30A4wwOh
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKxeutE5T5
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pEK9KeDrP
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YXD2IC449
— I'm going back.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoo2d1LqzE
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gkwFeDtOm
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xGWqm8bgV
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWLGyH6jNm
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwDacnZU9S
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2LcJ13Siz
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3VUghOhMu
— I need to walk...471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBCm4ME0QM
471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tO6GzCaHI
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsZqaRBZ6w
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfUJJ9jtMk
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MqtQEGgOb
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RoFjymeAb
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzZht8nl9R
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCD0zcOos0
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXsD1LVqK3
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOfejyfdVp
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHYNPHLowE
I look at him, surprised.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKhqfAtm36
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzOeIERnIo
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiItrZ8ihq5
— You're good ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyOx84wjPp
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZeRDQHDMF
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaqYsh1Bcr
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmQ9Kb59GD
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlMUsra9Jc
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMPvnFIblK
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxr8LCGVjw
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTzKBT7Pdn
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDbIgwWAVt
— Did this happen to you too ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN1tXCVCWD
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0svyG73H61
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCZmabASrN
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAtBDGOQjF
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfAheD5knI
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRNEVbtXFz
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XV5MuVt2O
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8P8cnaHOH
— I see in you.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUZ1nMBZxU
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJHLcNX3mu
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FcXCtWuqx
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMC8qC54QTz
471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrEiEeLePY
471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSbC0KHaS4
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqhNVAfOAR
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCp2bFDqbP
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinYkW9vVsV
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3Q4Fv9zWk
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJerUNUJDp
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDBQp7gLWU
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L7kEXbWT0
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIzIVZhT2J
Immediately, boos are heard.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1W48ccKkZ
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuVa3BU16g
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXhjBspz6A
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrIaKytCgH
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DVwuzlxVJ
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpg96X28jm
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlxTsSrgnx
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkTbUaoCTC
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4rWXZBv7F
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXq30V74Rnu
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjCaDpu0oh
— Jessy, wait ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqyWypAHkN
He slows down, but doesn't stop.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7p3TfAthz9
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7A7LQrlmuQ
His shoulders relax and he exhales.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OPuR9oWfT
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrQdDpEijk
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3uMObGW0f
— I'm not…471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZOA2TSMO4
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EdDps6QKk
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTs6K6lB56
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWtiHxXpsA
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANxqEgKttc
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeLpb59dVO
Why didn't I think of that ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ378Bq6NvoV
I refrain from slapping myself.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4xBX4dPwq
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDJn4EA5sG
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eEOMhFeIL
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsvz66UGRi
But what is happening to me ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVxxY9P1xo
471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkkW44Njb6
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsPUNDF4eM
What's going on with Jessy ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡak9p1UphSg
Astonished, I wrote : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12dPV053O9
What ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ713u7DtOiZ
Chad's response was quick : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzm6DKFEue2
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmdIZuP1HS
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJlqqbTr3E
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKS6qKFBne
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX18WNrDvue
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lmpJSoTRo
471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9lJz1EkVX
471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVra9cl8DGp
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyZ7ADEDR3
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWj9Dtgy6jE
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XxYGQf5eX
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv9CVAltNP
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KIbf2bRnT
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRaAgYu00u
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ur2B4Ml9l
I am left speechless.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTaakBg7i3
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxSr91eHlH
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHctwBWO2g
— Very often. I hurt you ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡly0RK58N3M
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJkaQBoxZR
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2p2kByjtyt
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmNi7drUG7
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA9eRguxb2
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5J9TBC2pT
— Mom, this is Jessy.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkS1zjosysv
They greet each other.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsJWrZxO6g
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92VfR9yje2
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡic2110V9kw
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIY1bGEkojq
He shrugs his shoulders.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmAsUvVjyT
— I don't want to bother you…471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U1J8zqVzc
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBXtfYxNJr
— Nicolas is my older brother…471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUhllXW8NG
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzjcvtF8GH
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqnPnXphRH
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBE5jkfs4T
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysafQdqKwV
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytWfF6g5gH
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQXNqr3kv0
— For what ? I tell the truth.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1TH4c8asG
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS2FJSW68Y
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eE26MPssN
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55KMok2liA
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhrYS1vBQF
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRgBsD5j4U
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuC58U0Zsa6
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIgGP9XIa2
I glance at him sideways, smiling.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMnbANEiRf
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprbje2jGOS
— Not really.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtnreYuMKp
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNbADCk5xS
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoMB1D7wMK
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulI8VcbCX5
— You think that…471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyObLG2HBoj
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnOlJwSTJc
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1M9vTxLjll
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEiBxWj8iW
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIX8CR33Y5
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCROjLruuy
— Megan ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyoHNz4gra
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejC8Zi21xB
— I am sure of it ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTCc9wDkBX
I give him a big smile.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryqWwHrxSE
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysNNeLGnh9
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cWhymGCgB
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuxxzEqONJ
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVwMp22kJn
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2Z8ByOYDm
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KWCaLFhKH
— Did you move here alone ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B0yNZCRQZ
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM10olZeQUh
— No, I live with my mother.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68YAFyxPXL
— And your father ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoRIFGcPxc
— My father died when I was a kid.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkZrhFlFqb
— Sorry.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI6B1n1UZD
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbe9czkltsq
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDU8kNc39x
Jessy grimace. 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuN9UNAKJi
— No, they stayed in Allentown.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7EsnLAUTE
— For what ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi1YV3ZVct
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGncqemHXxA
— Joker ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraQ2r7qNx8
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhKtxgPXh0
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss6eG5MQvE
— Re joker ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDfKDp9EgG
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTY3d0YKagG
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbU8abtYVe
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULxUupyt1I
Looking serious, he nods.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVFW95w5op
— So you’re from Allentown ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOUrfyQbz7
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCcnRoygxp
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGeUls9Rui
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmyQ91TozV
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JsHtI4uUZ
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNI4RzIdNs
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIpeLrQlzX
I blush and lower my head.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwmZP7EeRh
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBIIF0FzUR
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYe01iRSwCA
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbWCUt71Qa
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYw0k3GVsV
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqwZvXJqHc
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sbkVVo2Vz
— You still have ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUnKqxIazb
— Well no, we split up...471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3D4spuTJVw
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3ufEPFmag
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzt71mESmlI
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZjntnMVAb
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcGRjhdWy6
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uzx1OvQKr
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWip6TO7Mu
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QjQUpA9sZ
He glares at me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiWYs4NYiN
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClb9s1Vrgj
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnStzgfidl
— So where is the problem ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQX8jnAzJFi
— I can not do that.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGKJC7Sjgx
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡup9nYwmKtp
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjlom9997X
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp0C9mtnQm
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96xFY20Pzp
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA2q0fOJIi
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE860RhOwJS
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhlvY9OHlC
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9va43b9G7M
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1BLHEJJvC
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRyNI2m8ud
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When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GEy3x4nzi
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpEP6rMYSc
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMb7g2v8cQ
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYxqAPCqIv
— Hello ? he says, happily.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT40Is5YIPN
— Nick, it’s me.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSPOlNKAy8
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96JPQBtVF5
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCR9YL7xiPD
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ER2zLBj2q
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuafW2yKAX
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF3ir8NuLl
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmTISHT8j8
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtRXdKJClr
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTr8Xu5BnuS
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8LYgm0GjA
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmNvMjhZ5s
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhj6536fVU
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7A8sO3PTE
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSLOFMqw5J
— I wouldn't be able to.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHgiBvyUwc
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0D49OFvH4H
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhRphRfeAM
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZH0bQMEye
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnsrYEtYrz
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.471Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY944dnm9oU
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
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