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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBG8wfPxQF3
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgZ7JF6Xmd
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0XZHDDpAq
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeKPiLuJWW
— Ok I hear you.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yjB6Hqbog
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYgsh73Zwq
— A tattoo ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBDnHv9iAo
She nods energetically.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46SaaaVPdP
— While you are still a minor ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHYgZTkyF7
— Soon to be an adult.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlmy2evBmd
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wh8cBMPPm
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFEdnuqlMW
— No way ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnLhksgFuE
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXqJP9p34N
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpXAbuEkYx
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpP55L813gz
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvu72UtySHG
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ770yR32s0j
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRlT0E1yZ7
— She’s not a cool mother ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iJfCquHrF
I decide to join them in the kitchen.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Y3NIxfsdu
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cIvRhjE6C
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf2hrt6hhm
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynP0TXJH1A
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVd8HYNkft
My son looks at us, imperturbable.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtCFf8W3m6
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnE0dEh8Mmy
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3n489288om
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk83xf574H2
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAfpVCGmj8
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZqYjLTa3g
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAZoGtMxPW
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oxCWcyR3X
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWgUD8gcbq
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8BL9Ti34P
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPks0GxZDz
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVNBVcnd3b
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLiTW5wexr
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNrGy6gDV7
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31h4RHJfHY
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGh4hrfr28
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXPDF9RCyk
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hAuBXRHiz
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjcmw2sMOw
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtjgIrQQOl
My father coughs and chokes.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUFhXlTavx
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5csffNrqOm
I nod yes.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG51Gn3jI0
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDUbVGx4Iw
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs7RP8BtvQ
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7PflhMyF7
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSMXJDfp9H
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMa5lCOAYTw
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOErfq8Kum
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmViqnvGy2b
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9v7kGUGi9j
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO99xi3j7eQ
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCfrgT2rtA
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomwp6Wrr3C
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXPgaVXy35
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowIZXvcRmW
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXsSXgF1Qz
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZT8PSl68dg
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc22uOQxZMP
— Yes Megan.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsK0vvHug6
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSF32X7CYs
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcnUQ9TjEp
Many raise their hands including the new one.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgrrYGQhDB
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSHZDIwmjQ
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbr34qCIwz
— Perfect, Jessy ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqEDWRM5FQ
Jessy… 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuj9ukP4xSY
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbef7jO6uZ
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9HOt0DdTl
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuYU2AmFZN
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQB9RdIyth
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgucne9icVC
My cheeks immediately turn red.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW448yGvBal
— There is nothing to say.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCVagVKy1F
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3Yph4TXp5
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qb9k0YKqg
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRefIrmAki
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGXiBbnSMe
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiZMOtcQTc
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dK6MB39kT
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXO9N4LpED
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MuMfWZGCT
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcidCQMisTh
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lEUROLoAV
— I learned a few things about him...894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbvwKglvTo
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9ZFKqVtzT
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQo6iLLJJti
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtzTuxWVPT
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWHR9TjYSn
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwI2XVlFWE
When I don't answer, he continues : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIhvXTLGyo
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIxD5lNu5a
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGulsj5TSd
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fjFXDc3i8
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e60fI5Vwh
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULNFAjQ6WC
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeFTwimOWv
Why am I blushing ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3c5shymJW
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3h4Y72nOFK
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMKx1K9eG1
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZAE7VB1xF
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2xr6bDuMN
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLh1dG2IHbN
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfD555ZxyZ
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYjJ9jWeVG
— Where were you ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSjMPhqa7w
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xj6eOi1xc
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOTeQ5SEla
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbaJFKs8Ej
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZDwZLnS5f
— This guy is weird ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4HaBQnRX6
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48AyZvsWQQ
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhpVcPwt88
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNBcwLxU4I
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ43Mfi11N3
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3CHolqmd7
— I am coming with you.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7C2L7RIJfX
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LB1IucBAR
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KGCRHvyMW
My boyfriend raises his voice.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uOKhFSAHK
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXJ85r2mEz
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8BDgGB896
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIubXkgBlO
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSfIU6AN35
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfzy2WexYX
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkbLAUmYbF
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOitbgL5Ig3
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcVx1Wv3kK
Having little choice, I accept.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5O4XtGLyzE
894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQ0Hlmd5rL
Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWXnQgyO0N
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNGCaAS0Jh
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXhXrP7N3M
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1tIjGYp4A
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXZ8TL1vYz
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6bdRhYWfM
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNA0n40atl4
— What are you talking about ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMifvlvPkn
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0pepU3EWL
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RBwIUnB5q
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0MZVTPpvq
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzj0u51fYV
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0m9OM9PuG
— I'm going back.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ifH16zBRF
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhib8UUx4j9
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd1E2cQq6J
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbw4amXMXKI
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzxW907cTc
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuj2I06KCV
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcdXsu3tT9
— I need to walk...894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooFSP7Pj6G
894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6La7rc42S
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTdF35WqhP
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwkoUxT1wQ
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1fozLd34k
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1Yy4V8ppY
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemUbCRTw5c
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡor3xRDcz3b
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBguGDuqM79
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEw9xUWrTQ
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQzD4eV0pB
I look at him, surprised.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7v9MT5PgO
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eQ0S2R86y
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcFZ2y1zrA
— You're good ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh91rs2zSc
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1DCh0xUrs
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2BmDkmzu4
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaziMjuG9L
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kvr4Y61Ti
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHnHX84bm5
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1OKnqnGa1
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJbRpuWNhr
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCzzh1PwGa
— Did this happen to you too ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNAGy2LXvu
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuXuGLUEQo
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjTjKbMckn
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9TTY73fmM
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78rVOjWO1d
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfE8aeUSTc
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKzERjvn1E
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EgMyxQhfI
— I see in you.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1qZXsUi9w
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJk7iViybZ
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT1QOw9Ix5
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0ZWKtoK6L
894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSJcvgGzuU
894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbHHkGkT6P
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jQ1ep0gN2
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vnVCFO9tv
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYyY4cbrDr
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbwnjpD99V
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOKhByTdmd
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHfbnHrPLI
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7iQFZUKSv
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwQKILl5Ef
Immediately, boos are heard.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZISNHOPBP6
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdmp4LZyN8
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5wQUgC4uY
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrVmYzzwsV
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnyNQR6WoQ
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozKnFM8LGv
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2bnYFRrtF
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDjYmuIYFr
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8EtCrDBWW
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgtdrOscJt
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhkSrzQH2X
— Jessy, wait ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgQbbUfzXu
He slows down, but doesn't stop.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFtFJHdrNQ
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsTv5rnCGZ
His shoulders relax and he exhales.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGlZGdO8U8
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnreU14DRXl
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XUXmKSxwa
— I'm not…894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJoiCzamh3
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YYqhGNJBR
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzEav8AJBU
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9gC5NRiN5
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6F29yS5BE
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy98hF3FI0r
Why didn't I think of that ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tlsSB3ISi
I refrain from slapping myself.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7LNXbtEnE
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLbiJigi9Q
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4r8FBj5tho
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYOU0pwaaT
But what is happening to me ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILQyDGfftW
894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBr1LrqtVM
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpF4PdaqU7
What's going on with Jessy ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYfl3kBXPS
Astonished, I wrote : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLFdm7qAsH
What ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BbdVOmISg
Chad's response was quick : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY4eF52wWd
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5XE6aPyN3
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4H9UujXQ1
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4lcFcOrSO
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9yhq8bszY
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcrB36dQBs
894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5pZYV5dvl
894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6N9I0kxvzt
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTjIoYbShh
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsp3qY8Bxy
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvzckoevC0
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxMEjp2SmF
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFx08k7Tuh
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgzugJEZES
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XArSJX3J9
I am left speechless.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMPZCjaAKq
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZIPZJ86ap
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLR0r3FO0q
— Very often. I hurt you ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTliucxxqq5
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgvEMaZbLi
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQZ80arHol
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUbIy94R2f
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHtdmXGnTZ
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtdrzdquLz
— Mom, this is Jessy.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCyIk1YKbu
They greet each other.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBU6fAy2MFi
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aYD0tIhQG
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbIo0G8ACZ
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMhveLMyTS
He shrugs his shoulders.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LppU83sL9
— I don't want to bother you…894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftmfuOogI4
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdhZboyzS0
— Nicolas is my older brother…894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftaZdHHMEG
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9HU32mft5
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdXCvYZZgi
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmiq2TTu7X
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtq4Yz2cHqW
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJMrnPMZWD
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorafndt44U
— For what ? I tell the truth.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkR7b64ff5
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiEEbi4YuM
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8UKKTv2yl
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudgNYwvsNJ
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCa1sIErAlg
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseJVz5q6ZG
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfYfgTdTmO
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdn7QiLVpzt
I glance at him sideways, smiling.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJhciprEF7
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliZl27PqCx
— Not really.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSCen37PPA
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBckABEjpT
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUZskYRQvz
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lYE6z0d7K
— You think that…894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSJp5t8580
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0znnt66EMi
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpSqypXZ0F
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoPCcntYk8
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGKwX7XOiF
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjBa57Gn2a
— Megan ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhBjqfouuZ
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00YMBEIzmf
— I am sure of it ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sNwIv5UFi
I give him a big smile.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaDHkIJnog
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡconueSWreq
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGck9gKFEwj
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDhwmSAYhn
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhogebjybTp
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ttV17ky9S
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORr9CTCWwe
— Did you move here alone ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0eYT8U4U6
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsz6CXc8pja
— No, I live with my mother.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrYJC6qIxB
— And your father ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9toG6J2Jr
— My father died when I was a kid.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzzx3rSwkl
— Sorry.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw49HLBiRln
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUUQMik1nm
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQNSqLaTwK
Jessy grimace. 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQZdTfVFbc
— No, they stayed in Allentown.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sNl9mkPpQ
— For what ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTCIeD7ScB
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgovtm9EAL
— Joker ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR230LT5tEy
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYo4Mq18Ul
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98RZSiup0f
— Re joker ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzodt9HgAE
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8rkW9HtxK
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxFvIWvGkw
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbap1nH8V4r
Looking serious, he nods.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc001yRFcOM
— So you’re from Allentown ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3HGFkkDlj
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3uQ3NChoR
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHBlZBTUZV
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaWQKgq8cx
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqXGeebVRc
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ceMbA2c6T
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HzmfeKs91
I blush and lower my head.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDbDXDJm0K
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYjE7V7qgz
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkg5woO6ig
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5LfiXgso5
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFbx9eDJWt
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZyU1fjojf
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesPdppOVKW
— You still have ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrjv8imSKM
— Well no, we split up...894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhd4hPqyn8B
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94NIPamwCi
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIbGjBL7Bl
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPD0YRR9rm
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLvAhC76Vg
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYemMsfz5CX
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXZbNNJxYt
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FV48yS5gF
He glares at me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6kOnGT7s6
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhdun54Iny
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93GWlalGrS
— So where is the problem ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL1VgzcRYX
— I can not do that.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSb6wTI16UT
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb14rhyIX9d
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayrkhHhVX9
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyLmjundVj
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7RHHVyWr4
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusGhkf0MOI
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqdujemlU6
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8rOCjo50f
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzwjuR4lkz
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXdUwaIW7e
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhzwb2HteV
894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriFgnBRbOQ
894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4co8gJ9qR
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MgWVYXUIK
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvwjqP4p0k
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4D6gKHnByG
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfduDy85rDC
— Hello ? he says, happily.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaH1sNyIUn
— Nick, it’s me.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekeCyzfkmp
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFG71ID6AI
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESwfmmFVvj
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8GJm0kZVX
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UrdE4OVEz
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYzd5wC89x
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSRP6tFgIZ
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMB1mGXZX5
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxaho9XAns
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AtY8Mt7Ch
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUVZSzEGsx
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnrzJ3dePr
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAp8Qq41jv
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphargRt9oM
— I wouldn't be able to.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2f8gfdKs9
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0h8uz1y0Bp
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeZXS2zkkF
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jupofnW6H
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSt8cH2q7Y
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.894Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMTZXJk1cq
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
and then Add to home screen.