午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY6ZUFhjYO
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRtf4gRLzs
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi2XHMYaCQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6bbvFiMar
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WHfdD53hx
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3k9ePiFPNM
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYUcJdyAci
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvvaeohZsa
為何記住？我解釋不了。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvLCPOnxXS
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSBxmue3hK
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdcvye9ZDd
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOpvbNgQEr
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcyCQNXxRq
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ403pUgLwqS
其中一個是他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpBxnBQaCm
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeQ866fT9Y
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLfOGmdaJ3
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZCKwVii2T
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KV7l2lmvI
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDaOUEWg5h
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wyDsX4f2V
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJlShsV3j0
「你遺下銀包。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcJU5QtE2K
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHnnodIoJK
「謝謝。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRo2ZSjDJR
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWM2nrSuyE
「不用客氣……」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5dZWwIhFN
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Qbc92EA2g
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfjwTtC8OF
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlLHgaTQEa
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfiO23wVF8
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9OxIslELW
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxS04DQvZj
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIORSTqLLe
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OXSOyMXPl
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lqINlhRn5
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTOoUTXyRU
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPJxcNWMTB
「我是文班許家偉。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZoVhYMjt8
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4M79STJZE
「我是理班李浩榮。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCETwNvv5FK
其實我早已知道許家偉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYUWszPXbQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmsSSvFliL
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXNSUm1qWR
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5ZOOB8Wvd
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkGIwDmelJ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVcegFca6M
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5Jj4C0zzg
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7jYcWrAHq
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AusjjdD3D
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaToKyx9N2c
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgezy3QePUN
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLMmlGnFpK
不服氣。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cvxUYxGEg
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPw5xx491zf
繼續觀察他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJer4C6GFG
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIojIw55vS
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkNgtgm1FV
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASxgaLXq4e
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhbt8IGIlQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr08eTCaCtW
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2TTk5fQ7M
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPa31JwC7KG
我急步追趕許家偉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNXQPTEigm
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9s4jfRM3W
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJ0ZtdL4CR
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wTrP3xo6E
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDChYgKUqbK
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbESyiPS7jX
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSrY8B8oR8
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5NwAN464J
「你遺下了銀包。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvpkmie0bJ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KhUOmB8rD
「謝謝。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUeFi2OKjU
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYLpi7eAuT
「不用客氣……」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UOYzxO07j
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRZVWVqfC2
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwgNy7w2mP
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UCdvhjNMb
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcIizYpJHu
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVCGHLtaAz
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFk0DS73Yr
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD79cg16W2Y
我望入他雙眼。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ5hc266Kv
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV1kgedDzC
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sBKfsX3CL
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWEHMKmWZn
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7Np4Asda4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhSKSEhux1
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsJzXfVnFR
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjA722HPkco
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwQJXz03Gs
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtCp6jRfys
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2phnhyvNoG
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxumb7sBeaV
「我是文班許家偉。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCvtNsMzWu
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeASFlpbjss
「我是理班李浩榮。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCB5WrEBcl
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVh3vJ7nGpx
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8zUG65E59
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDxhmG8izk
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCh1jfl6QZI
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGh8rAwK4n
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfU6jyHnxy
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jXZDqutKQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdj4wdSdD2O
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fumd0YAk6
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANcg1zz9Ky
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmePo8Qc0n
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iqkYcXqSx
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Tzu6Ed7CQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgjlkmDeHN
但我沒有阻止他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8n9AMMVApX
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEJaqJxiY1
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBalJWAdeq
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuaf2yY21z
我慫恿他繼續說下去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyOWiTWVz9
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcPeiBjuuk
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8utvJB744n
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykIwLHG4Dt
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehUPBKnG7s
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoQe0bk8U4
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1aRYDNxD0
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUfSgksLT6
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoeBw3f7hR
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTCfTz80s3
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUnOcNotyc
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqywJqk8p1
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R0GsygELa
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaXpFpm5xt
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGkzBwXw4c
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQod3gSBH7
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhRE9PUJUl
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmDrSE3DO5
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnfuPmR5IQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD81bX1fTtU
但我掛念他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHB0j3vioQ6
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0SGGjnyrR
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBUSwyzeWc
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHWZjJ3Ew3
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfdw1R6yfx
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLW9EUKaGqA
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIHci4mhoW
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNncA5IyObN
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWLXWshyBk
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaU7WwYLtu
不要說。不要聽。不要見。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUgpOZqT9e
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGegCwEeZh
希望時間會沖淡一切。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlF5c10Vtl
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyBdAR4nmc
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZzg1pSN9B
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlQPhR9udp
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCxdLHlm5a
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicCny3tzOh
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2VbFrV9t7
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWC9lDKpq1
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXKAA94IkF
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rCOWp82DB
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnE1LVZUCm
「我也不明白。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2eL01UMzK
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvOuTCfyLb
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSy308gqjHB
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaawdSFypBA
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5xHv95BWJ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdpDQFpfA7
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tvSXQDFVM
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1dzgzh7RQ
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbcopYJeHS
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLkMRUaGPZ
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVjuNCBcPk
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EwIBWvEea
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9wlIklX22
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBzFSdPj0J
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3lMJ4RnuZ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sVIza8mkf
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOiriVAvR4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUp0H1L5Tb
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhPuSjRXrH
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTG0kq06K6j
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JUAp77S4O
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7kgXH0cIy
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLY5TGBMq0H
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1u88KgK7L
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFCc2likk1
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEZZ7RX1V5
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOZLUsFrGm
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosyStw1f2m
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyq40xNlui
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS94UItEaQw
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYpNLmlzGL
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnGu7H60bP
為何要走到這一步？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNrvON3lTx
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdsxNf23fu
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxalmGhEwx
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnx1ARipVSy
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oPJ5vAKj5
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0H5ZMe7Tb4
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4ABThzEAy
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3fwoEa7h6
「別倔強。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvTAMGKMGP
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJkoyUxFks
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlA0s3qrnfZ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVMjGLDCjS
「我想你放棄。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLklTTfaoyT
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlAoNKD3pU
「原因？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQALPi6Vtdi
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKFGDfrzAC
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUdnTKWKaK
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNvjvJaT35
「我知道。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcAgvibV0s
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9prlTCq47P
「何解還要繼續下去？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24pAUfaFm1
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BVEaEI0IC
「感情易放難收。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUB4SEG3S6
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQrWkn0uiH
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgTssV6L2w
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfsHukv5oY
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvT0osnseZ2
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsK5jsUeYw
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KP3gY3oVW
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNT4tmxDRa
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorr2qiM3qf
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDc9gSp45k
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWRvml8wFL
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCH5I1asgNW
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLdtPRG6ns
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1FPEljSmt
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJdjiPJmvf
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7sZ5x4ZYU
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqeV4xGGTT
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCYbHfgIdB
小醉。半醉。大醉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3w3RbBYIUK
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9RUu79UCC
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFcI3BJl2b
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9F1JnVRjLc
「直接講我愛他。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqx2drUnmSp
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJRdGZB1HK
「如果他拒絕？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozXKEi5XKR
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1fUFzaXI4
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHw42ZjeoH5
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrpxzR0hr9
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJXAie4APj
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFxqKYlCYA
「我當然是高興！」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HykMewAGB
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNlaNIoK2B
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxRHHV55Tv
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4E2bAVEaDp
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEMStN5HKI
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3YwU4M5Bo
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQ4CGnp9Dh
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXaegOhDrN
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKyzepm5qK
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWaCOATQYb
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BNsmNxCJk
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLqKPc1g3k
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lzpM0xWGb
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhxe9hf7c5
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBgPeyA3y5
「你仍然單身？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZqunmMcnD
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GGg3Q42wp
「是的。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyycOdx8Rm
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBg84lpctx1
「要我當媒嗎？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0T6MOUjOB
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYmIoC1ptX
「不了。難為情。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXr7sQVuOTk
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIb6JH1e05b
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfegsEp7XO
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60tLjUhM2g
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKDGSEPvKt
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbA65Q6yar
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEd13SSzDc
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyH9YK4W4r
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvGqeoIace
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYQBoI5IpV
回家吧。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxgc0y8chD
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTw1OcYfyG4
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Abq6M8c6Q
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwb9svsjew
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qWdCR3hET
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPA4IC22F8
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjR887neP3
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnQooMV9XH
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjNYEzE15Y
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlv4UD26dJ
大概是一見鍾情吧。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhWPSioOyJ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6SZnIuXcR
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkJALauZgT
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisGGdagQ8T
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWwRdiZO9b
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0T2qdV7TE
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4T6ECTXtt3
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4jT6hzdMt
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnE0He4Yy8
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJjnGwsaRn
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLAYAL2Lco
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1UpgTl8wb
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYTfTJ4l5Z
百感交集……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXQEVRBsbM
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qnDF5di47
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNkT30Usyj
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mWF5S2RJq
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOvmePqTHe
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ265WHUyx4v
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWHqm55eRY
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSInZKADdp7
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRkxUtMMw7
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGWUK1HM1O
「認得。你是文班的。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWI1cOFXen
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMn3PX8Hf8J
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOrOqVnJZy
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm6XUOMIAy
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OcwILr8mW
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJOOdzns8S
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEIu38z1xB
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlerdDGwOJo
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRh08yL6WT
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnfIx8u0gU
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaeM3xxwot
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4SJRViuwm
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6o7fpmaMfr
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69Po6IA4rg
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCP9jtZAe9S
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCYRqnxy02
我哭笑不得。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mNQzJWKWC
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx3Vr1NaTF
無意跟他繼續對話。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFrhtUDotk
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zug67FCfX
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kyIkbMRi4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcBwyoSSjV
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」