Lines of Love; Chapter Two
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Percy/
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It was never difficult to become numb to the world around you even when I was young it was easy. Drugs to get the high and alcohol to feel high, girls satisfy the needs. I had one serious girl but my corrupted ways got the better of me and not to mention I came to resent her for everything I wanted to do. Things I needed to do that I never did because I was always so angry inside. Perhaps if I was a better person I could have saved the one who needed me most instead of drinking myself into an early grave, taking drugs just to continue being numb. I guess the main thing I'm running from is the guilt-driven thoughts chasing me at every waking and sleeping moment. Like every morning I stumble out of a stranger's bed getting dressed so I can numb everything again.
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Today was not gonna be a normal day for me though someone I thought I'd never see stood before me. At the bar, I frequent a little too much.
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Percy; " Stacy... What are you doing here.?"
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Stacy; " Hunting down a piece of shit who has yet to wake up and join the world... My parents called me after getting a phone call from the hospital, it was late at night Percy. But I drove to the hospital to see Astra, and you are just here still wasting away. When are you gonna take some fucking responsibility?"
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Percy; " Wait....wait what happened to... Her"
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Stacy; " Jesus Christ Percy her name is Astra, the sister you keep abandoning. You always talked about how you wanted to fix your relationship with her, be the family she needs... In the end, you are just all talk, I don't know why I bothered trying with you."
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Percy; " Stacy...wait."
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It hurts to hear but she is right And ever since I broke her heart back in high school, doing the most horrible things to her. She's looked out for me through everything even when we broke up she continued looking out for me. That meant she was there on and off for Astra where I wasn't because Astra meant the most to me even if I never showed it. If I had to be honest she loved me the most through all my faults and shortcomings, I believed she stopped caring. I even tried calling her to check on her but she called me out on the bs and hung up. Yet here she is and I can see how badly she wants to give up on me it hurts to see it so clearly. I can only imagine how many people have told her I was no good and I can't even defend myself because they are right.
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Now I am left standing here with the news of my sister being in the hospital. Most people would run to their side yet I'm hesitant to do that, I'm afraid of being rejected I guess. I don't think I could survive being rejected by her but I would deserve it regardless. I decide to head inside the bar to fill up a flask and buy a couple of bottles before heading out to my car. The drive is slow like I'm delaying this by mere instincts but I start recalling just a few memories when things were good. When I cared about her without hesitating. But then one day I started to think a little too much and started to blame Astra for my father's choice. Although I never vocalized it to her I only grew in resentment for her, I wanted my mother and family, not this. But I was a stupid kid who couldn't grasp reality at that time and now look where I'm at.
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Pulling up to the parking lot I could feel the weight of guilt and shame pressing on me with each step. Just knowing she's here is enough for me to wanna run away but I kept walking because I can't lose her without asking for forgiveness. Perhaps I'm a little late for such a thing but it's what I have always wanted. After I gave them the name I was looking for I went to her room, I heard so much conversation it was surprising. So many people are by her side people I don't know, a family she created just by finding people to surround herself with. I hid off to the side till everyone left the room that's when I snuck in like a coward. Seeing her like this hurts more than I thought, how did this happen to you.
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Percy; " What happened to the girl that outran the wind itself..."
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It was something I often found myself saying when I saw her run. She was so fast that it seemed like the wind was struggling to keep up with her. So why couldn't you avoid this Astra but being wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't hear someone coming in.
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Gina; " Excuse me but I think you are in the wrong room... I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."
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Her voice came out soft but venomous when I finally looked at her I could see the fatigue written on her face.
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Percy; " Uhh... Sorry um, I'm Percy she's my... Family"
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Gina; " One second..."
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I was confused by that but she pulled out her phone and dialed an unknown number. I thought she was calling the cops so I started to panic but before I could do anything I realized who she called.
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Gina; " You check out... Also, Cait says go fuck yourself."
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Percy; " Oh...Sounds about right."
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I forgot all about her but she stayed by Astra all this time, I'm happy she did.
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Gina; " Her family isn't well-liked but you seem to be the most hated out of them... Must be a real fuck up."
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Percy; " Yeah... I shouldn't even be here but I couldn't run away from this, I had to know..."
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She had no idea how right she was our family did some things unfairly to Astra. But it was my responsibility to make sure she had me at least and I couldn't even do that. So I did what I do best, taking a swig of the flask just to feel centered a little more. I wish this was me and not you Astra.
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