【實體書有售】《青梅竹馬真係最難追》 - 結局篇Ｖ：我們都無法完美22082022

厭食症。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFFtQj298L
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在心理疾病之中，厭食症的死亡率也是數一數二高，標準死亡率達5.9。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OaIbFCruR
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5.9是一個怎樣的概念呢？這代表厭食症患者的死亡風險，是一個普通人的5.9倍之高。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QKWDtBmit
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作為參考，使用可卡因的標準死亡率，是6。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxYzpLlQbF
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重度吸煙，也只是2.6。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pmuctVS2C
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精神分裂症是2.5，躁鬱症是2.2，暴食症是1.9，抑鬱症這麼普及而可怕…也才是1.6，而厭食症可是5.9啊…1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuM00Gs24gE
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雖說這病不是甚麼不治之症，但致命率極高，變成長期厭食症的話死亡率高達20％，我不知道這比喻對不對，但玩俄羅斯轉盤往自己頭上用左輪開一槍，中彈率也才是 16.6％（六分之一）！1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJdGOXxFZX
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童桐…怎麼了？1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnZ9ewFlqx
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是我做錯了甚麼嗎？是我待她不夠好？還是我那兒惹她生氣了？她怎麼會有這樣嚴重的病？1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7R614BXIzc
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從那時開始，我便陷入了自責和內疚中，我每天都把這段日子以來的每個片段在腦中重播，苦苦思索，尋找自己做錯的地方。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdJRuUSvVk
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…這樣下去我早晚會和她一樣，但…不行，我不能倒下…1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wRGJXsZ82
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那晚送走妍妍後，我好像發了瘋一樣把Google搜尋頭十幾頁的厭食症資料都通通看一次，我知道這沒有任何幫忙，有病就應該看醫生，上網問診是大忌。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7t19IkyMO
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但…我停不了，只要一停下來便覺得好像愧對童桐一樣。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxlntRIvCj
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厭食症不是那些人一直斷食，節食減肥，最後失去控制變成甚麼東西也吃不下嗎？童桐雖說吃很少，但也只是和我相比，她一直也有好好吃飯才對，她竟然在吃飯後偷偷去廁所扣喉？她說自己減肥應該是藉口，她明明沒有在斷食節食，為甚麼會…1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZYtAxI5xq
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她這樣用心裝出一個正常的樣子給我們看，她到底有多壓抑自己？1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpncDK7oHQo
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…是心理因素。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGA1ATmXQp
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「環境變化、事業失敗、失戀、挫折等，都可能成為厭食的契機，“不善表達意見、喜歡隱藏不安與不滿的人“，是特別容易厭食的類型…」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuM4Ja12fG
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我看住這段文字，在屏幕前抱頭崩潰。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDmTDMJMEJ
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想不到，我想不到自己做錯了甚麼，但是我也不知該怎麼辦。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyUBcAgFor
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童桐不是那種減肥減到失去了自控而變成厭食症的典型病例，她是因為心理壓力而變成這樣子的。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rlXhw1pbv
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不行，這樣子下去…童桐…童桐會死的。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88TAakYFiJ
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童桐真的會死掉的。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3gMD2rBvl
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只要這件事，求求老天…不要…唯有童桐，我犧牲自己也要保護她。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkluD44oHe
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〔嘟～嘟～〕1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQPYWY7ajK
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是植嵐晨打來了，那邊慢這邊六小時。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5SdjWYHU0
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我抹抹臉，打開鏡頭接聽。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3g4f8dBIwb
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「呀遊，呢排點呀…喂，你個樣搞咩？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19sbXwLxCj
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不行，表情騙不了。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKe5ZzRu08
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「課金抽卡爆死，嗚…」我胡亂掰出理由。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZSgzrNx9I
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「量力而為呀，你話…Kay點樣？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbU3gsEvuY
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「佢…佢最近對我好大敵意。」我避重就輕避開核彈之類概念，「大概係將你同佢分手，去外國入左我數，我救你個時辦事不力之類…唉，我都唔知點解。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPb7LcwMpdT
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「…都似佢既諗法。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKBeFxOBZe
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「佢係咁既人？」我問。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5f6PnPzHmH
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「我就直接講，我去哥本哈根某程度上關佢事…我同佢根本無拍過拖。」植嵐晨凝重地說。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBuD4IPMSm
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「下？！佢又話分手既？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOCHVO2Q6Q
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「呢個就係重點，佢…佢會成日分唔到幻想同現實，我承認個時佢同我有曖昧過，但係我地真係無一齊過。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBrJxwva9F
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「係…」我呆然。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVM8YLy4rgf
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「但係，佢成日覺得自己係我女朋友！佢試過係我屋企樓下截我，如果我唔俾佢入黎，佢會守係我屋企門口成晚，仲要撕到自己衣衫不整！有人行過就喊晒口咁拍我門，搞到我又被人報警，好在門口有cam證明我清白！」植嵐晨說。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡno9oyEKysg
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神經病。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjtNHLQVix
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「我阿爸前排有請看護，佢竟然呃個嬸嬸話自己係黎替假，然後推左我阿爸去飲茶話要孝順佢，個次之後我就知呢個女仔唔係痴情少少咁簡單。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4AiahiAHd
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一切連起來了。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUGoKHkL0d
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我嚇得吞了吞口水，然後說：「之前…大學聆訊個日，佢本身諗住用界刀捅個主席頸。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOD5NWgavso
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植嵐晨的樣子同樣變青：「本身？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIywTSPtAn
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我點點頭：「嗯，好在我發現到阻止佢，不過俾佢車左巴。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhT4PClBzZ
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「…完全係佢會做得出既事，即係佢為左我…應該話為左佢想像出黎既我，連殺人都夠膽死。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5u8N2BuI2
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「痴線…」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9reAXlCi6p
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那個Kay病得不輕啊。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspnJYiqNnm
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「你避佢避到去哥本哈根？」我問。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46ZXsP2cD6
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「一黎啦，二黎我都想去海外讀書好耐，呢邊北歐既產品設計…嘿嘿，串啲講句，世界第一，我仲考到獎學金添～」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvgya2pckc
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我無地自容，既然植嵐晨考到了世界第一的北歐讀設計，也說是說他本人的實力同樣到達世界第一的水準。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjXLmNhcZ0
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所以之前的抄襲指控，完全是誣蔑。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtGNpjEJNE
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「咁…咁就好。」我說，「依加呢個Kay咁癲，喂佢咁痴戀你，你同佢傾下得唔得呀。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOfPDdAjP4
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因為對我來說最有就說服力的人就是童桐，她也應該類似吧。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf5QFj1sKM
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「唔得。」植嵐晨搖頭說，「之前同佢嘈左一次好大獲，佢唔會再聽我講。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lEgzhLNOG
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「嘈咩？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRqS8UfGqs
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「就佢係都要話我係佢男朋友，但我地根本無一齊過，所以我只好順手推舟同佢講話我地分手，然後係佢死纏爛打前飛走左。」植嵐晨說。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIynrIWvGHG
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然後他便把那舟推過來我這邊了！原來又是我自己扔出去的回力鏢！1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOqVVObvGx
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「我大概都明係咩一回事。」我搖頭說，要煩的事還要幾多樣？但當務之急是童桐的厭食症，我的安危不重要。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXwuD24uzD
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沒有事比童桐重要，包括我的命。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9O35Ja5NV
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「呀遊，你真係要小心，如果你話佢當日想捅個主席，我怕…佢真係會對你不利。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqb3WncNzW
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我怕嗎？老實說我怕。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85NfasiPQm
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雖然我體格比她強壯，高她兩個頭以上，但是Kay應該會帶武器，而且她在暗我在明，不知道會不會在下個轉角路口便遇上拿著界刀的她。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDeyBwHOv6
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但在她做出甚麼事之前，去警局備案也沒用吧，之前那個瑜珈女教練也備了案，也是遭到了毒手，警察也沒可能天天跟著我貼身保護。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mmt28LsDp
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而且我更怕的是她遷怒到童桐身上，即使她不知道是童桐截下核彈，但她身為我女朋友，這種瘋子已不能按常理推斷。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAxIwH0k73
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再說了她也不知道是我發射核彈害植嵐晨，她大概是通過「童桐喜歡植嵐晨」和「我喜歡童桐」而推理出我是最大得益者，光憑這猜測便盲射核彈。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw564vUJOcl
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早就是有殺錯無放過了，她不是甚麼神機妙算，她只是無差別轟炸。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXYAjLgYB7
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「我…我會小心，都無計。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1dQVmRpr0
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「嗯…咁再聯絡啦，記得出入小心。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpK8oScNF2Y
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「拜拜。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieTkyEGXOs
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視訊通話中斷。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdPDu4kGti
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…唉，再看看厭食症的資料好了。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckgBbmfQ3f
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這一看便是看到了天亮，我覺得自己很無力，始終我又不是醫生，更加不是精神科或心理醫生，我甚至不知道要帶童桐去那兒求醫，社工嗎？心理學家和心理醫生又有甚麼分別？認知行為治療師又是甚麼玩意？精神科有沒有門診？1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIHtjakE0u
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我想起了當日不好笑醫生的那句：解鈴還需保齡球…牽鈴人。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vSFGonsBy
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牽鈴人大概是我吧。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39fRzN1Yoh
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童桐沒有安全感，才這樣黏著我不放，但這原來只是冰山一角。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB43qmiFBU1
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植嵐晨的順手推舟，也許我也能學一學。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYct9MbMDFh
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得到了我爸媽的同意後，第二天晚上我去了童桐的家中。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5uSqUexif
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「童桐，過黎。」我拍拍自己大腿。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxF4UD1gma
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「嗯？做咩？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnRZWYOs3u
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童桐還不知道我已得悉她患上了厭食症。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmmmgIYpDJ
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「想…抱下你囉？」我裝成想撒嬌。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKQ5K7in59
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「好好～呀遊好乖，今日練射箭都好俾心機～」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGK1xCmXlj9
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童桐騎在我身上抱住我，用力把我的頭埋到她胸前扭腰磨蹭讓我撒嬌。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KxBTzP4MW
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真爽。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83sQsVUiyt
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但我身上感到的重量可是明顯輕了不少，我甚至有種只抱住亞基的錯覺。那些厭食症患者變成活骷髏般的可怕照片在腦中閃現，我不安地抱緊童桐的腰再三確認。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIF8dj3NPO
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也變得更幼了。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zWidADCMU
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好輕，輕得像幽靈一樣。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B8NnxYRYp
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這不是甚麼好現象。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwaLuS5xTt
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「童桐，我問左我阿爸阿媽，就睇你想唔想。」我把頭從她胸前挪開，抬頭瞪住她雙眼說。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkOy7wSZId
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「係咩事…？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qmMMICKJj
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「我諗緊…反正我地都識左咁多年，雖然個時我地未一齊，但係其實有時我都覺得自己好似同你拍緊拖咁。」我說。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1snTlPk0sD
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「嗯嗯…你想講咩呀，傻呀遊，嘻。」童桐笑著抱住我用頭輕蹭。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1s3Tldxii
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「唉。」我嘆一口氣，成為了童桐男朋友後似乎我也沒甚麼進步。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwF3rrrTCt
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「你慢慢講，我去熄左部電視先。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVM4GAiUyl
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童桐從我身上滑下去。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNJd9Hqssk
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「…太平洋既熱帶低氣壓升級成熱帶風暴後繼續增強但移動緩慢，日本氣象廳正式命名為“氣槽“，預計移向南海…」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7Uw0Q0Djj
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魚腩盃是在室內舉行，應該不要緊。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIi66kLCvy
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童桐把電視關掉回到我身上，我甚至能聽到她的心跳聲。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4C4rqnYYI
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「我知道…你最近好大壓力係唔係？」我說，「我覺得你好似擔心緊好多野，俾好多負擔自己咁，童桐。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7fvlyXhAc
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「無呀？」童桐笑道，「做咩咁諗？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNb3Tnh3ymC
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…不，我不能說穿我已經知道她的病，這樣她為了治癒自己只會更痛苦，例如表面上吃更多東西，然後以更隱密的方式扣喉，她就是這種笨蛋。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaW3a4n5HbC
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但這樣下去童桐會死的。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi1pOKyaqz
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童桐死掉，我也不算活著了。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZXDOG556E
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「…你鐘意我既，係唔係？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8FspO1BSs
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「嗯。」童桐點點頭說。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJMoyFXmPK
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「如果我既支持同陪多啲你，你可以自在啲開心啲…童桐，雖然我地起埋一齊無幾耐，但係…」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdRRQRUaQO
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我深呼吸，童桐帶著笑意等著我問。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5YVTJ8Slx
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「你想唔想過黎同我一齊住？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQlFVYXHBV
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對，我知道我知道這樣很快，太快，超快，但是我和童桐可是從幼稚園認識到現在，所以我覺得還好。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyebJehnrhl
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而且我和她一起住的話，我能更易察覺到她的變化，她的心情，也能多點陪她。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1q7P7vgqN2
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沒待她開口回答，我便繼續說下去。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoYGIenuZ0
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「我好鐘意你，童桐，我已經早就無左你唔得。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXM5ie2furt
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既然童桐的壓力來自不安，來自我沒有給予的安全感，來自她怕一但失去我便一口氣失去一切，又一次被拋棄的話…我便慢慢為她重建信心吧。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfW0wlkop5
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「所以…就算你只係住我隔離，我都覺得唔夠，我想再見你多啲, 我想再陪你多啲，我知道可能太快，你亦無同過其他人同居，但係我…」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKaCAdgGqU
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「好啦好啦。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2dPXuzQdJ
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童桐深深擁吻到我身上，把我的話打住，我們互相深吻至肺活量用盡為止，她的心臟穩穩的在躍動，而則我貪婪地傾聽著。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa6ewqhFAa
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我沒法想像這脈動會消失。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRSiQZlNvZ
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「咁…我黎打攪你喇。」童桐紅著臉說。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWZzMhkuSl
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「真係可以？！」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8uI0EwmLL
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「反正都係一牆之隔…爺爺嫲嫲唔介意既，但我夜晚要返黎幫佢地做家務。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡat40RcUlSj
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「嗯！我都過黎幫你手，嘿嘿，睇下點槽肥你啦。」我抱住她說。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqNpTPJDW7
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「下，我肥左既你唔要我點算？」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ScbE6VBEs
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那個人教的話術真的和我自己想的是兩個層次，童桐果然按住他的計算來接話。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHegNBn7LvA
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「點樣既你，邊個身份既你…都係你，童桐。」我牽起她的手直擊她的心理弱點說，「只要係你，我就會係你身邊，我就會一直鐘意你，陪住你…保護你。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfvsEuqp3e
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「我都係，呀遊。」1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Kdh6PSZ2
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童桐眼眶有淚水晃動，同居的生活要開始了。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lDktW5n75
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…絕對要在病魔手中保護童桐，想到這兒我便輕輕再握緊掌心中童桐略顯瘦削的玉手。1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi1hp05lEG