午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvd0aOi0rK
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurRMyu6ZWQ
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQ6oMLXUPQ
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthzG2EGaGC
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHrGdssXwM
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMCcYj6SGT
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMR8UYoOzyn
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AdBS5cYIR
為何記住？我解釋不了。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpZYTnMbj8
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68vFLSrB8A
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEx9unW40px
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugRtiTQIhe
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGQiCAosYu
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTtgcD8CBY
其中一個是他。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbUMz2XhnX
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdz4hm4A0F
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mxaFvEY2P
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyZJjI9bw4
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjM5qQRJkm
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4Uwq3nxBR
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgm37g0bXAj
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURPlTZ59uu
「你遺下銀包。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH8C3j68MZ
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60z5JAGEsA
「謝謝。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxPZ1KQsrT
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmoM5TiMH4
「不用客氣……」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ybF8YVTzy
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDj14tiD8Q
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyE1VKWAcsj
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHJDo1TSjq
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyR5p5SM62
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6RXFVfzia
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvvTSUpemK
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNonxeCVxMp
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mejptiZHw
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FwXiA1jQY
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡME0NyYB0C0
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWiEwYir6y
「我是文班許家偉。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGHykO91ve
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJakfAxePX
「我是理班李浩榮。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIqI3IAp1N
其實我早已知道許家偉。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7mmYW2dPT
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG19QvDCpcG
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvG9qVtYBjJ
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXdzwsUnqG
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA0Vwss9Ii
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ092oJv3ng
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DphA1vGMx
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoqPnOMb7Y
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebSHj96ZNH
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKBtkb6ge2
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JMHkebr6Z
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvF5uQ0g2Yq
不服氣。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbKlQc0kuF
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KjGe0X3Jc
繼續觀察他。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgLAsIg4fn
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwHFtFJzlL
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFthRxVy4rz
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4mqitRVP7
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVwyWEkHK8
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPl0b9Fd0J
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjw0ysY1DRz
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68E8HktkwY
我急步追趕許家偉。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHM8lB9KnL
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe4Ct5zSpe
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbOBLOSZ3a
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpXbFopue3
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bCjgQNsyl
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡno4eT856b4
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSNrAKlqKD
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vQwk167xZ
「你遺下了銀包。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCO2qKaB7Cu
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3J2dpBzQs8
「謝謝。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkmXPrzLnZ
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrrNS1pxFj
「不用客氣……」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgR9oAB1WHo
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcTYLSSv9E
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqU1H5eMn4U
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FdEEjvITT
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFKLRe1qGI
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fhky6yoen
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiLAFrKHYl
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS84PYRjH2M
我望入他雙眼。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdAheHhSfc
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6BGD0GXCm
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62ppP97wFy
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFEO7PcxME
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAxYiJ4bJM
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2OzH4Ho9g
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeF6OEnZ70
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ57h4TBDJD
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCF51BwyBY
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0u6nO1fkr1
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMjMICykjV
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzmi0MXMbm
「我是文班許家偉。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3vq47mS9A
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8HcquMHl7
「我是理班李浩榮。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaDCqb0izL
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0OOzspyGR
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMPew95xcz
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsyrN5TxdV
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiDPoShmuN
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDwGzDM540
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dFZreUajO
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5MyuQFMlP
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcDbQmfso9
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozdPas6yDt
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQZZvuNDKx
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3x8aycoxQv
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCkErtbdwI
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviKS9XteDQ
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3rHrAm5Ft
但我沒有阻止他。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkGUZid4Ub
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyA7cignVz7
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ixsFFyown
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhzar43LDs
我慫恿他繼續說下去。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mau4a7XRA
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGvgeYcmtz
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcMr84ZEtn
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnvIGVRyqi
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqeaWuDOEb
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGd0tm7jpS
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrjCp7DpWa
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcUihNFiQg
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRw2MtPNRv
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeD1eBjvgbs
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSa8f6QGvG
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyozkCQoSny
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkcLHE2Ohw
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xFel5a6WR
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY10ohlHnyy
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1jCGYGT82
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreHlCd2KMX
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1ChEpucc4
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4OgOvGQWW
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvz5d1jjRRt
但我掛念他。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEby2ZatLcr
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BLWrN1Oy5
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgtk5VmhfK
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vfnFGjHBV
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS8qyC36lT
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOo2nroETkX
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumduZIavN6
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4O7zqY6oA
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOCEvvqlRR
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2Q9Jqkm7C
不要說。不要聽。不要見。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMXHHmkwz9
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlj0PDSX7T6
希望時間會沖淡一切。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ahsTyqNxZ
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9VAaklp8P
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6xikb8Kpj
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9tzP3J2ob
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthrmpuJ3fR
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GXz3ZlUyO
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDYfifJbOW
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9WdKYczZi
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiel8wY2KBB
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzJQ8govsC
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSdd1JAyW9
「我也不明白。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbGCMOPD7m
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT90zWtkcDN
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTXNzjmbiD
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgeR08XAFo
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9q8m0ihRs
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBQpRY2rha
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrNiNgPZBH
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtaLJoGvYo
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1ZNDyhej3
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4R3WEmi3vb
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9w8e0no0po
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKncYLfTJ1
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBubOTswZ5
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOVXMBcM7I
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqJLgCpa2n
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvNazQGCKu
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszxJbENcX1
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4OFAZZBEE
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFAPjleaf5
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXldAEDMl8
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC4gsAGtQQ
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfrPIFl2Af
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6efQdqshl
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwWQRwu3nu
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuMwZKwxxf
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45WMffMLOU
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjlsfSl5GF
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuNldYgtZg
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40HLLg38WD
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ425v8LwADy
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQItfh5qof
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaz6N8fNySW
為何要走到這一步？288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPBncYH21k
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHC6hmUA99
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhUxAT4JBD
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE95TsTPZTV
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N8mIiKqz4
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kR1CV42Uo
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPbRD6MB3w
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmZYBJo09H
「別倔強。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vcqOICCFv
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8L7WeT9TgU
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡer8qp8UjrA
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNb78Fm0X3t
「我想你放棄。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAW0GN7oeM
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjTrnsLgE2
「原因？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQPDtYCmZT
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKSdVLz0lO
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Eu3KKXqZV
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAKwAnbTqs
「我知道。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFC1jTkYTy
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrSZtD3Ow3
「何解還要繼續下去？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGyWw6x95C
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ND6BtYFef
「感情易放難收。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMr8nhCRw1
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAd4QI9O3qG
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIqqBWaDHo
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAx0p5S4EL8
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcW8T1kSuu
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzAX0b0sBz
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32vo6MV1Wx
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqZniEVgnu
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxxtjrLSAR
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zqSDoW4zX
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4h7OBR6HZI
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIeXWQ08fU
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREsCClUdkk
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFUeszzyuZ
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRujFhX5IQl
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyPbC0Gi4C
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCt8woLkROI
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4FdqjJTRo
小醉。半醉。大醉。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzsO0Hbfe0
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mIUE5cYOp
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGuGPiTI0N
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMVH5nWZVj
「直接講我愛他。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrcCNNP32q
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA4aPsXAqq
「如果他拒絕？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMU33iBFZd
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4yqOQQhk2
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vVoZTQl4D
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjtQuINLMW
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAikoidBsg
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAerSePrRF
「我當然是高興！」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNProJX64BH
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5eh4RzUJp
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBLTWQjOuy
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzW9oqmjsE
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRvIvvKNvF
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6AHJQdQKW
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZdP6zhwyk
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdXbTBqxai
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOLQdIF5MX
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDr3Ggh71Nq
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMusqYCoQUQ
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCuXLBVWOU
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMEQ3XvzLU
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4fWi6BLLU
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsYKMq1hRI
「你仍然單身？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6PWla2lRG
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycWb0SamS8
「是的。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPNY4OG3lv
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LEkzduf3e
「要我當媒嗎？」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLbdSicg8V
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhf5G4z7ZZ
「不了。難為情。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aMyZ8D199
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6arepYoL4
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgQ87VAj1I
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKhljFsHtn
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm7i8Uzco8
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18Xylew233
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawoKldBDUK
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgxBqlenXF
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7IyMoeMlY
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8HdTG5Nms
回家吧。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv42Gtgo8J2
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlKwtBQRfz
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTq49YS9G8e
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBK2Hy8uD6
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWVNQWa9oS
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfe1DscELHl
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Q3CNFp4CH
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AHslAaOEL
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡge41jaRiLY
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9tGqugd8F
大概是一見鍾情吧。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2RdtHFljj
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPnco9uLeh
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qgz1bDO4z
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvrcGyqnAY
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSP2InsnAR3
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgjKsCI3rE
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3204PB170v
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtB7DaCS8G5
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7c8y33qvF
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbJ49UxYLp
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpb8ZQPLRR
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanzY2kk099
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZA05o9RIm
百感交集……288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorhKhCdSw4
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlAlHHQ4aY
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EYLk9Resx
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDGltGjvmm
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmiCL48GqA
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHGOL3CCpX
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRbYmrqX7r
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt56jwfoP7q
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4twRRN2ba4
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoLLrFIyBW
「認得。你是文班的。」288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMSOLxyXDM
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1hlw2iQ6n
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukAi6JpzMw
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWpUg2K7jx
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMoQZzunwf
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMK5UiZOshK
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrspSgsSrE
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQV4RJ5JkQa
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FPWpQfwpW
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLZo5mBi4Z
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQZrG3ABBF
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIauKmiknK
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDTQDrr20t
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErZTsjWZr9
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJckVf1hPim
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12Xoi2HfkZ
我哭笑不得。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzzOVtIIEV
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUjUfQNKHX
無意跟他繼續對話。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIFuUzWt8W
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkw2ymjc5F
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOZ9kxyczn
288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2gef2Mvot
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》內。288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXkabantH5
然後按「加至主畫面」