【校園/日常】杏壇中學眾生相 - [1-1]天才是專業小丑

開學以來過了⼀個星期，班群中各種事的討論熱度絲毫不減。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCJbXm0RJE
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaxu9S7WHg
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6v6z1ULOQ
甚至，每天會出現過千條的信息。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDO9acyOckD
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17UmDGhnYM
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvn1sZcuaa
＋5578 XXXX：數學功課做到哪539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahwNaLoMdP
＋6678 XXXX：［狂丟貼圖］539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFLiDbdScC
＋6881 XXXX 移除了＋6678 XXXX539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7mef2RYrS
＋6881 XXXX：好吵喔539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0MNiFH6WR
＋5578 XXXX：沒人回我哦（攤⼿539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjT8PRSpJK
＋5937 XXXX：@＋6323 XXXX 你⽤IE？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSzyj4BDvx
＋5937 XXXX：【讓眾⽣下跪的王者魅⼒！「路西法」7⽉1⽇獸神化解禁】539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOi5cM5WNr9
＋6881 XXXX 新增了＋6678 XXXX539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvqSyzI6fe
＋6897 XXXX：你們不要再打了539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlD1m7wh04C
＋6881 XXXX 已將群組名稱從「1A班怪勿彈珠同好會」改成「1A（禁⽌洗版）」＋6323 XXXX：其實我開始覺得應該要開discard group539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMHw9G4jfd
＋6897 XXXX：要打就去練舞室打539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtkEHhvaQU
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhT4yxcVTsf
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6nJdvqWRW
在這段時間內，班級內漸漸出現了幾個團體。最主要有以羅晨西為⾸的男⼦組，以及以Queenie為⾸的⼥⼦組，兩個⼩組間相處融洽，班內氣氛表面和諧。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJegFrg3XLA
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XoUiUdNJT
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlOZHg4VtJ
但因為班內氣氛和諧，同學們在⼤部分的課堂上都會製造出⼤量譟⾳，唯獨上孫⽼師的課時才會安靜，畢竟孫⽼師的罵⼈次數之多甚至引來同學對此進行統計。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcFQhg6so0
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBclz2U5nm
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EmKJEwOyd
「根據統計，⾄今為⽌班內有8⼈（佔全班同學的25%）被孫⽼師進⾏過思想教導，當中7⼈（佔整體87.5%）是因為沒帶上課⽤品或是通告，剩下的那1個⼈則是開學第⼀天就遲到。現時因罵⼈⽽損失的教學時間⼤約為33分鐘，佔總上課時間的13.4%，我希望這個數字未來可以呈下降趨勢。」——摘錄⾃該報告

539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9t77eQwV5k

539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjieAbyVXtr
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCXMEzsEKc
「這裹⼤家有沒有發現？2加3是5，3加上5是8，接下來⋯⋯」任教數學的陳⽼師，也就是「陳伯」的⼿上拿著紅⾊圓珠筆，在筆記本上留下⼀個⼜⼀個的箭頭。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlhKaXx5PT
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVCJXBanVF

這一切都透過投影屏幕顯⽰給學⽣。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxSPBstAyc
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iIik5hrsl
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I3X9BO2Jr
「叮、噹、叮、噹——叮、噹、叮、噹——」下課鈴再⼀次地響起。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUlIoLysLv
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLT0zmvGhFu
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9sagcUmzX
「我不浪費⼤家⼩息時間了，起⽴，各位同學再⾒。」陳⽼師雖然因外貌⽼成被學⽣稱為陳伯，但是平常對學⽣挺好的。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnT0AEnM25N
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjOtSnr6SR
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5CfZdUi1s
「陳⽼師再⾒！」知道可以準時⼩息，學⽣的敬禮也有⼒了幾分。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxdxFiLWJl
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdl0Gb26xk
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS67TD8fAu7
羅晨西看著陳伯離開的背影，食指摸了摸下巴。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FRxuwd18x
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjs9tLP3AuU
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6PiDoF0Uq
這個陳伯，目前還挺正常的啊，很破格嗎？難道迎新日學長說的話有錯？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJBcZubT0M
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGHttJMb3S

小息時間開始，班房內馬上亂作一團。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWiecQmtry
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJph4Ezvxd
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuHr7CChDH
有兩個⼈直接用筆袋在教室內玩起傳接球來，正好把封思諭⼿上的歷史課本被⾶來的筆袋打歪了。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMWkGeRNk8
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GywmmypGh
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEU7iOOCkG
「ADHD出門左轉社工室。」封思諭看似平靜地留下這句話，黑著臉地離開教室，不知道到哪裡去了。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNeOJMWxVB
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNV18Vvx5i
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FHqCrBUzI
「主席，行動開始？」⼀位男同學主動走近了羅晨西，低聲說著。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ35K97jKXm
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRy9R65D5nk
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzCcjaeLAw
「『天才』，跟我來。」羅晨西揚了揚手，暗示行動開始。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUfyVRcJ4t
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGcEf2WzWF
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZk7bNeJJa
看到信號，幾個人從各自的位置冒出跟上他。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLQXBdMjKh
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWUdj8TjmK
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiClDLkURK
接下來他們要做的事，和這間學校純樸的校風並不相稱。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWL2H94hea
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRAsa8P586
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8ZTdOrIjG
現在，幾個人正鬼祟地摸進⼀樓男廁。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7CuCk8yue
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xfavQl58r
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETZUIAOtTK
「君子，守住門口。」「天才」指揮著，聲線中透出一絲不正經。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Tk07q6gLf
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsJY5UI9fl
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH34c1mo6j
他留下林正君在門口，和其他人一起跟著羅晨西走進男廁內部。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ogCmD4haB
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2Fi2cNvqz
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bCdcKBH9J
「唉。」林正君似乎有點不情不願。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZKNxptkfC
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXFcvxiags
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlwJDUSVWe
羅晨西拿出手機，撥向了事先存好的外賣電話，再打開免提功能。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ObmG1h6xf
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoolO7YeO8E
要說為甚麼事情會變成這樣，還得從昨天說起。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kKGrIeepL
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eLMD2UxLl
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FmqqU07Px
任教1A班歷史科，被天才叫作『遲放之⿁』的史sir，昨天硬是延遲了⼗五分鐘才肯下課。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHbLoguNqQ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFeI6Zppo8
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzRJA3dwLi
⼗五分鐘，可以⾜夠杏壇中學附近所有餐廳由冷清變成爆滿狀態。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEV77kijmfs
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qK7Saz3mN
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXzNk03hIQ
當錯失⿈⾦⼗五分鐘的羅晨西等⼈看⾒即使是連⿆O勞中，外帶⾷物的隊伍⼈⿓也排出店外時，他們就只能到⼩賣部買炒麵充飢。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0S6cGKDLNs
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2mrAuefAF
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CkSJMJxrk
為免悲劇重演，羅晨西召集了好幾位班上的同學加入這次行動。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxltKJlQFf
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqfTsyDNWc
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVCWHtpY9V
「喂，這是杏壇中學，要四個和風牛肉飯，兩個豚骨拉麵，兩杯凍檸水，四杯凍奶茶。能麻煩十二點四十分送來嗎？」羅晨西開著免提，手機瞟著群組，利落點單。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vbG64pnNn
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevomZ1AabS
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMffeMcgQY
這時，一陣電玩音效突然響起。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVW2istOT6
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVV6fYi9nX
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0y09EW9s3
「機神，不要開聲玩怪勿彈珠⋯⋯」天才鄙視地看著音源方向說。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLsBAEk0Vn
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyw2VOsYY1P
「意外。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWucnn4QJSw
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwJeHiIEtb
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOTaA1NDRA
⾃開學以來，這位天才兒童幫不同人取花名的速度真不是一般的快。他的傑作包括但不限於羅晨西的「主席」和林正君的「君⼦」。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oCVel3Tvi
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡho6v3TDxea

被叫作天才的這位同學膚色是健康的麥色，說話的時候不時環視著圍著他的同學，唇邊總是帶著明顯的笑意，彷彿想引導其他人被自己的發言逗笑。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcuhwJoCzw
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6WH6lQ4s0
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3drk0YAXN
典型的氣氛組。羅晨西在第一天已經為這個人定性。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8EwauaV1A
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDLB9arUbn
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjTkzj5dR9

「是，就是這麼多沒有錯。另外我想問⼀下你們是會送過來學校正⾨是吧？」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJR9D5BZlmM
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyRtHavwDb
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotNXYiupzK
「好的，沒有問題，再⾒。」他掛斷了電話，⻑舒了⼀⼝氣。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavyvkAOoDo
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OHFFh08fN
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF92J5ZVau
羅晨西回頭看著眾⼈，⽰意問題已經解決。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcYtqG2kI6
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqfj5ghA0Q
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YK6FHrR0A
「班會主席英明！」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDOS7z6m2H
「我們以後就不⽤擔⼼吃不到午餐了！」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGxCzAVwmT
「如今的我們，即使是⾯對『遲放之⿁』也絲毫不懼！」

眾人笑鬧著附和。

539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IZyvsitHB
天才突然拋出⼀個問題：「我們不⽤幫Queenie她們叫嗎？」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6vd8TKwqO
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTWhvb4ALb
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2AutoVJ9c
「其實Discard 的⽤途是⽤來溝通的，不是⽤來刷bot 經驗的。你沒看到Queenie她們已經有在Discard回過了嗎？」有同學在⽴刻回應他的同時，還不忘偷損⼀下對方在群組的屁孩舉動。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQIzezsISa
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yq3NDQuQ7
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX02MDjamz7
「錯了，我也是被迫的！你們沒有聽過⼀句話叫『如果故事中出現了⼀把槍，那麼它就應該被發射』嗎？」他開始手忙腳亂地解釋。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1w1jxWag6l
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQTyRrxd8t
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBm6XLHpjC3
羅晨西腦袋轉了一圈，還是不知道這位「天才」想說甚麼。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkW8Pufdh2k
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1aJ3OzxQG
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKjPrRlTut
天才兒童？我看是專業小丑。完全不知所云。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2xRiUlqlX
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcsy6SMsXX
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjIpiRUVuv
「那個bot既然有等級功能，那我們就要活⽤它。只有在群組發送信息，我們才能升級，想要快速升級，就唯有瘋狂發送信息。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTZbIBMdY5
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJGp9zFKDu
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAOCbkzZAr
「如果不是我另外開了⼀個刷經驗頻道，我懷疑現在我們discard 群組已經變成第⼆個班群了。」想到班群的亂象，羅晨西也⼀陣後怕。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mcNqhuWMA
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMKkrTcSEe
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6sEOBHAMa
「我的洗版是有⽬的性的洗版，和班群中那些沒有意義，為洗版⽽洗版的⾏為完全不同。」天才繼續在發表著他的偉論。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffSLaY1k2C
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAosuvwz9h
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEpt2Hz5v7
說著說著他突然激動起來，右手握成拳頭放在胸前看著其他人，語氣堅定得像是在述說自己的人生信條一樣：「大家有沒有想過，我們經歷的日常，或者在將來的某刻會成為伏筆，這就是契柯夫之槍的真諦啊！」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrgichhnPi
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBNP8uJvnu
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0p7Nvyd17
「你說是就是吧。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDolbXMqXk
「你的思路也太跳脫了吧。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjuqPP4JDU
「你去加⼊杏壇辯論隊吧，它們需要你這樣的『⼈才』。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8ZxImAIZI
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljzk6spw8u
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YHpuFpyyk
「正所謂『天才總是被誤解的』，強如梵高也是在死後才成名⋯⋯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATdjSRvnxn
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcYoZeIyxx
被叫作天才的他似乎還想說些甚麼，但眾人早已離開。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzeRiGwhjE