Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyek5OiHBL
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To lift his spirits.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSS1DMrRZom
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwHS2DRsju
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Claude.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZjDGspBXJ
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHpkmGWjra
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Demeter wasn't working.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNiq8WDdN1
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGy25wVvoO
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJp9JLfIKNo
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4tWhdkQar
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"Bison."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hOIPuFn2g
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Bread is like the sun.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aNICHS1W5
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHm85dAr7O
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡir8V6yFXSe
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5aKWyDFlH
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Its butt.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNW1m6eLld
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodxrGhQi81
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KSDpj6QrH
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First, a tractor.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxrz0Srhgl
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqIBKpF2LU
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Gravy.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80AQYijVWD
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQIzB9NlzQ
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Now he's a rockstar.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCcUh7gI9X
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eNCoBsQS4
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Do trees poop?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSQ1odUiXS
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gyAgJpiac
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbl5HBGuyH
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLLagCGXnE
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqhsBXdHAj
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She couldn't control her pupils.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwG2IqVAjrc
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What do peppers do when they're angry?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGV2FKzbfP
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They get jalapeño face.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEH7vpktSj7
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Today someone told me I am average.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnYq4Cmwsl
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I told them that's just mean.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKmwEi4SDl
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82JFQtwDpO
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Pointless.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4XjVS94Nd
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCMQXIMNkl
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9UAaHlxsD
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11AplxPhgk
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMLT4uxNtB
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I tried yesterday but I mist.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAauSum49TG
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHtxsiYe39
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ4VmvNS5f
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFIxmzWBY3
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyW8mGyxrD
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What has four wheels and flies?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JoD24VGYo
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A garbage truck.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrQ24imGY3
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8a8lh6L9mj
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...so I pushed her over.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyHio9RktZ
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFcUzvNzGS
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5jl9t3tr7
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