Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrKja24Zl6
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmX5iZCWkld
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiQZleQ0VU
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4OhRK27TL
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiavZK13g16
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5MBaEb7Qr
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9HijWP3GQ
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsX1dGQu31
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviFu8b41Is
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIMSCmqJhX
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfLurdKCLV
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiojig5HpuR
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPHN00Yp1u
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEGLOc5X5M
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSkMXpKcUb
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCd2eG50tEx
我：當然沒有啊。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiyDlG01eN
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbssmMp0iW
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcywMbuplAP
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GXP0IaKS9
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSkVeMgczG
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj6CeTS12f
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsLZ5aLqAV
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UbmigdVJ1
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgqYED7Xsi
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡid5GnvZ6kw
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lhwwVPpxX
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSmM015WS6
Priscilla：係呀。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKU8v42smVm
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfP0eqsSkS
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9mGj3jDzT
（我對她微笑地問。）493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW25QzK2U1j
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXrzpHI0S2
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBcReL0d4o
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWKX6z9f7m
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8Vy6KNJmc
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9BBWBFyJm
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqF1t4jmpce
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiGzUurdwD
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqX18mHUjOT
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68o04HtrLL
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEjBoYaZZi
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd5tQxSpnB
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZFnZnOwlp
我：不如就開個account啦。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIpllMaGhK
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIsLRotl4G
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsP4wA6qbuw
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSuonOcuDy
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZyRUPwdgY
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbmtil4eVG
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVKxFT18ok
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26pZY87M5F
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTHE7k1Oe4
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24Gxm5mEfK
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkU2dfIHxj
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmHAQCrR0D
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PPI6I052o
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3vt2LeJMf
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO1Krgj1dq
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6u3Yt5xwoc
我：睇完先再算啦。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCnJtIAnmV
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonHf1JcxgG
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaj142xwX4Q
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL74V2X1dhK
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvPXQfMIvB
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WmPGfPWmz
-----大年初一的早上-----493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg05IobL3jl
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fpL3kpneV
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunEONfbm7D
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOQuHokXbW
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPf9cd8bI0Q
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9x1ubqI63
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7hW3PqaDJ
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlokXSDL5Bo
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTnbaPZxVT
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMK3aIDV0H
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvERV11hfqK
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCid7AFOKN8
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LO9dhxtR3
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn20qlV4Ft
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulvFyVquY4
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0caizLT2cl
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZncnnkjtb
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLhsL3QD0d
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUyV0jy7sR
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwB0qYIm5u
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09yQgiAOGa
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1wnyyHVmw
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPSXmDfTBO
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNE9bwUaAp
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPsWDbw3zq
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Zi23AEHvV
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoHYMyCLus
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLSVxQBubm
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0bMY7FJbz
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTzJP9t6k0
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbmw0xHLmK
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uUkhy91HH
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5CEv5dkGL
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTL2EVELOeW
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlL6Kzgjm9f
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJiDp82aAV
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb36J3Mj6J5
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqzvoRoOoT
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMuwNoSgtg
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOS6LzGSve
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWDp9iwWKw
我：咁拍咗幾耐？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EVVO2ODb1
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCV7GjjRjE
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0brbCeAbVS
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjzd4FNiKV
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4hRiYQ72y
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyOw2nbcak
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwol4VYlflA
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOu4RjTZ39D
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNzKTelP8D
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OQmYMTXST
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDel8rKX4G
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEqOt8GMdq
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjWUNWf80q
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JFHYkfOFb
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPQeC6s5X7
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLKmMcYtTt
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOehfz7KUD
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCzPZVO9ik
說著，我又說起自己的情史。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgV7wmdj2o
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwWInqUad4
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WWvStqjIc
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhD1pHgjN8
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZSsUWwvcN
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOqrHxlVHR
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dTzaNrR2p
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mQkCE4jCb
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTB7WudwN2z
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TpXSdh0jH
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLJqT5sqQv
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqaIP2AV2V
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB97zRJDjg9
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VHXJj4SqX
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbnbOKNISb
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BB6Ap1iaI
我：最後拍左一個月就散。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgbO4A9Eyn
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6AbSRMOJU
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAwjZA08AK
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJQ8Uz8pfu
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFxAqLh4IW
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaooZM1wqP7
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CtKirWv3z
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJFns9KhO7
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamDOK8DIP3
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMZRxp98oy
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagyPkNUjJy
這頓早茶，以AA制完。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AA2CpMlnA
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuglZ1rDw0A
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qjyU6Zxc6
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFdAL80UiR
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkXhvFlH0n
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHXse2zhBY
我：下次再玩啦！493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz80u5E0iBt
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuMfRwcwxG
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJS4Vh0iyk
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihvConHbDm
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLfv8rGtvb
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrpUjYob7h
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8jjAPsALw
8964 copyright protection489ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWYNyIFqv8 維尼

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