FIEFDOM FALL - 5. Shaded Jade

Recite to me tales ceremoniously

Of your freedom, all hail

Could never be me

'n Dunedin you wail, missin' your family

Playwrights don't skip details

Character develop me

From envy to acceptance

'Cause I've been stuck on really minute moments

From the past, it was wrong

But in those seconds

I wanted your life, your boyfriend should be mine

Now I know: "Give it time"

Oh, c'mon and write, write, write

Can't you see that I'm jealous?

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And shaded jade, I'm shaded jade

Because your existence, it looks so fucking great

I'm shaded jade, yeah, shaded jade

Disposable in comparison, my life's a fucking waste

I'm shaded jade, I'm shaded jade

Shaded jade, shaded jade

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Designed to be tough, inside I'm so brittle

I'm mined; without self-love

Psyche belittled

Ore, m' friends say I'm rough, "I don't really know you"

But philia's enough

For me to trust you

But I crave your confidence

Polished, I defect: over analysing

Calculate less respect

'n leave my body starving

Ribbons 'round my waist, knuckles in my jawline

Green blood gushes from my face

I'll always promise, "I'm fine"

Abstaining with resilience

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I'm shaded jade, I'm shaded jade

Because my defiance's silent, no mouth's agape

I'm shaded jade, yeah, shaded jade

No matter what I do, the fiefdom will always celebrate

With shaded hate, with shaded hate

Shaded hate, shaded jade

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Quasi happy, but I lock myself in the bathroom

Quasi smiling, but I'm sobbing on the marble floors

Quasi yapping, trying to talk myself out of it

Quasi chipping, but it's purposeful, 'cause less ain't more

Quasi happy, but I lock myself in my bedroom

Quasi smiling, but I'm sobbing into linen sheets

Quasi pacing, trying to walk myself out of this

Quasi chipping, fuck, I crack when full; 'cause more is more

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I'm shaded jade, I'm shaded jade

Because post-persistence leaves me emotionally drained

And shaded jade, yeah, shaded jade

The year of the dragon saw me ballet on an internal stage

So shaded jade, I'm shaded jade

Because post-persistence leaves me covetous; pain for praise

Myself I hate, fucking shaded jade

The year of the dragon saw me tiptoe among names mentally engraved

I'm shaded jade, so shaded jade

Shaded jade, shaded jade

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