Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWOdRbsOVw
Too steady.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOVg02OijN
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1KJmsH1Nw
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRM66ANwwe
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIAJMlXjqq
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YXQ0KC4Yh
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KdUIHnhNz
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCcIxYyZBQ
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGt2cWsnBU
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She didn’t blink.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXtjjO0kxK
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“Tell me again.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdztv3MiauL
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomaOEP5hgM
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguqqiVtQzS
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“Play that.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8YCeTbqn9
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I hesitated.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvS9BTv3vpk
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“Play. It.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf05xiY0jFX
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgsVSXLH1I
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzwId6yFbv
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXa5ZDaC0lZ
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Then laughter.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcRmT7TdJm
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCb1XI31zK
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxa4nsBmdk
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And me again.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AeV8Vxpkz
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJz5FVqeWg8
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnBPwGut4C
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yFmVCKIzg
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbqYZPbgN5
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aREIeifB7
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74okKYRY5D
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nGBWrbjaX
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGBQwa6eiv
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsCiyQmXlp
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsLNsHnA1h
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3x8j5XjEr
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveVJBWDdHR
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvJw3NLvrh
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0U80hG1jmN
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtjYN2uIa3
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“I love you, Nova.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OjUDp0DkN
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQNtNzJCvR
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e2ffJnnwV
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmfQZ0I4HI
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxEDfetEwq
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The silence hit harder than any slap.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFAi92a4ci
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Y0lSG4WbY
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYiSS0tDuO
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Door slammed.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDOmxoBT6p
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5lXUMx7fm
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Not the one on the tape.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuBkfJ96co
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The one that finally decided she was done.
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