Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAa3WEgmN0
Too steady.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6uUp78DBC
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdQr8dA1W8
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrIFoHlVNm
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSMasyybo1
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1dC2fTCtZ
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKAfjjvqF4
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASuKxVOxQm
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jD4RgpGHd
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She didn’t blink.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvq4PHi676
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“Tell me again.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TLf55VVYM
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHH7EsHZPF
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡai92jt84c9
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“Play that.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhoOt8bfJw
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I hesitated.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadghmFp3WK
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“Play. It.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bIMh1LnXP
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YALCrLHoF
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvm9j5fiPzD
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTmM63wJiS
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Then laughter.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGK0WSQp0zw
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OXrpV2SNG
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7YqTzvsKz
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And me again.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWjYhuAWpZ
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9dRDusa3r
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ735L2HKsvy
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSnt6WAIut
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Gb1Ln9SHV
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZAQ2PqaO0
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNXMoraKDn
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGqFALBErD
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJsVdUiEQd
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVXRkiBy8i
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPERBsHvJyl
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYYaCYsIj6
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6TdaeDpfr
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVt3IZ5DDg
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnnnzLcqZg
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxXipyzAHN
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“I love you, Nova.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaVfxBtv2y
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfcEXLUoro
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxs0HbhoCXl
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSYgDtA6SL
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vW4wIRcT3
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The silence hit harder than any slap.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfePyZMe5lZ
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIFutnHvgX
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPprX7lsuQ
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Door slammed.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83HrZBUJdo
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkSZ1s2fwT
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Not the one on the tape.45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5sIxB4geU
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The one that finally decided she was done.
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