
Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.44Please respect copyright.PENANAhSmcbGtRE5
Too steady.44Please respect copyright.PENANAtCe80ttqTT
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.44Please respect copyright.PENANAXerjc0yQpa
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.44Please respect copyright.PENANAKqWR0rU1OE
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.44Please respect copyright.PENANAYXencl4jig
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.44Please respect copyright.PENANAgHyUjNQjC6
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”44Please respect copyright.PENANA1yKYLFUv1L
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.44Please respect copyright.PENANAoi9WGhMFyN
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”44Please respect copyright.PENANAGHsDFbuIzw
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She didn’t blink.44Please respect copyright.PENANAB98GoH6RPB
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“Tell me again.”44Please respect copyright.PENANAdhercIxpcB
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”44Please respect copyright.PENANAH17nUZRnLi
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.44Please respect copyright.PENANA3UIu3ogkJV
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“Play that.”44Please respect copyright.PENANAuzIaD36sxX
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I hesitated.44Please respect copyright.PENANA30cUrynxS8
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“Play. It.”44Please respect copyright.PENANAFA1szeB8G7
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.44Please respect copyright.PENANA6QsBqA574y
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.44Please respect copyright.PENANA3c4hRqmyhy
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”44Please respect copyright.PENANApwd3MmBPYV
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Then laughter.44Please respect copyright.PENANAbQYXS0gmIX
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.44Please respect copyright.PENANAfNUMZYvcuf
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”44Please respect copyright.PENANAqtXn4yOZTI
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And me again.44Please respect copyright.PENANAqe1rdtFgMh
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”44Please respect copyright.PENANAAE1kcpcahl
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.44Please respect copyright.PENANAIpx8iBCcDA
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.44Please respect copyright.PENANAuYtjwvi2ox
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”44Please respect copyright.PENANARUdL7Glu03
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”44Please respect copyright.PENANAVPSw9gOPOE
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”44Please respect copyright.PENANATYwydB2eWg
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”44Please respect copyright.PENANAZK72neG4bI
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”44Please respect copyright.PENANA6Ylpr7TyGW
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”44Please respect copyright.PENANA7WWY9tHYGv
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.44Please respect copyright.PENANAVWB5xLIHBd
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”44Please respect copyright.PENANA638QZzel8N
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”44Please respect copyright.PENANANwAIdX72Sv
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”44Please respect copyright.PENANA0QpSziGwuA
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.44Please respect copyright.PENANAdSFnQqDOkV
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”44Please respect copyright.PENANAvcf9Uv1UgL
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“I love you, Nova.”44Please respect copyright.PENANA2sVqeBAQ2C
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:44Please respect copyright.PENANAt2pUvttwnv
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”44Please respect copyright.PENANAXmH5xVUCey
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.44Please respect copyright.PENANANdPcT9fYCv
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”44Please respect copyright.PENANAcM2LeRHPoB
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The silence hit harder than any slap.44Please respect copyright.PENANAVYfQGnZHad
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.44Please respect copyright.PENANAhHnu0NldvT
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”44Please respect copyright.PENANAPjwnjonftX
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Door slammed.44Please respect copyright.PENANAEN7ZJG016J
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.44Please respect copyright.PENANAgyHzkNqlI0
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Not the one on the tape.44Please respect copyright.PENANA0HmZ0NEssM
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The one that finally decided she was done.