
Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
48Please respect copyright.PENANAvlHK56ffOB
But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
48Please respect copyright.PENANASjzefRWSyN
Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
48Please respect copyright.PENANAc1oZKtEgFz
But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
48Please respect copyright.PENANALvYqumnpQx
I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
48Please respect copyright.PENANAexhDfuvW4T
The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
48Please respect copyright.PENANAYqI3KuBDQK
It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
48Please respect copyright.PENANAV7fpQqwlI3
But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
48Please respect copyright.PENANABJvH1gwuaz
And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
48Please respect copyright.PENANAn7WQn6op5z
The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
48Please respect copyright.PENANA9YWtH2UpQ2
She deserved better.
48Please respect copyright.PENANAGDyVrtwm8L
I deserved better.
48Please respect copyright.PENANAxfG4nMzWcd
But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
48Please respect copyright.PENANA2dGO54JpGH
And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
48Please respect copyright.PENANA06DTA3bMhL
The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.48Please respect copyright.PENANAtK35cmjwFi
Too steady.48Please respect copyright.PENANAOF7erhTjtU
48Please respect copyright.PENANAjJ1SPATLIR
48Please respect copyright.PENANACZfEXiA5dK
Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.48Please respect copyright.PENANAzucJd64AX6
48Please respect copyright.PENANA0tEUFHoJRu
48Please respect copyright.PENANAXO0M3iD4Lv
She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.48Please respect copyright.PENANAjQNQDX67aO
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.48Please respect copyright.PENANAZRn2yWauiI
48Please respect copyright.PENANApdppKYpXxc
48Please respect copyright.PENANANWUD6mNGm9
She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.48Please respect copyright.PENANAysSEyeMGN4
48Please respect copyright.PENANAav7INmOqvW
48Please respect copyright.PENANAHrt8vhaClx
“You been cheating on me, Saint?”48Please respect copyright.PENANAz8G96GXsFu
48Please respect copyright.PENANApcmFLhYnrw
48Please respect copyright.PENANAhCqA10Sktq
I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.48Please respect copyright.PENANAjBjAt84Ppi
48Please respect copyright.PENANAgWsPoHoVw0
48Please respect copyright.PENANAfxBQnNixXI
“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”48Please respect copyright.PENANAH8gxSRsHOS
48Please respect copyright.PENANA0d6SwSOZoJ
48Please respect copyright.PENANAdbVv46nX1r
She didn’t blink.48Please respect copyright.PENANAjVprbdlJHK
48Please respect copyright.PENANAg9ag17wdEZ
48Please respect copyright.PENANAcXvZFPruRs
“Tell me again.”48Please respect copyright.PENANA5uV7EEl6m9
48Please respect copyright.PENANAxHoktQTsIj
48Please respect copyright.PENANADN3ivCmC4b
“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAM9U1ez2h0v
48Please respect copyright.PENANAHx5yr9YW5B
48Please respect copyright.PENANAnYOBKTXpDA
She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.48Please respect copyright.PENANAlNAuInsIe3
48Please respect copyright.PENANAItIAOprbvf
48Please respect copyright.PENANANfbTkzgmCk
“Play that.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAEe49z1PI5H
48Please respect copyright.PENANAHb3NPVScBb
48Please respect copyright.PENANAPFbA2wS4KG
I hesitated.48Please respect copyright.PENANAhpvYduxylv
48Please respect copyright.PENANANNdFBuSCEQ
48Please respect copyright.PENANAq1H9aWBmTN
“Play. It.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAPqrCEEBgPg
48Please respect copyright.PENANAgPRKVovrXW
48Please respect copyright.PENANAlwCNaof27f
I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.48Please respect copyright.PENANANBI05g3VYS
48Please respect copyright.PENANAl7A8C74prI
48Please respect copyright.PENANAQHR43y25Rn
And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.48Please respect copyright.PENANASvhxzaVnvc
48Please respect copyright.PENANAl5RSuW0iUS
48Please respect copyright.PENANA7nYsPhKGYH
“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAhme72XG5Il
48Please respect copyright.PENANA7CQ3aKTLT4
48Please respect copyright.PENANA3yj2BSh2yd
Then laughter.48Please respect copyright.PENANAk3NJWHInFY
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.48Please respect copyright.PENANAOk8bNrAToU
48Please respect copyright.PENANAcjypfw95JJ
48Please respect copyright.PENANAfIgWbAfNqQ
“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”48Please respect copyright.PENANARct2D9SNkK
48Please respect copyright.PENANAkHNByDjUk9
48Please respect copyright.PENANAQy0wZN2mQC
And me again.48Please respect copyright.PENANAQOT198FTt1
48Please respect copyright.PENANAHGlPrh5V68
48Please respect copyright.PENANA7kwngo57nd
“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAbv0vvbR2Tu
48Please respect copyright.PENANAf8zhvlpRYm
48Please respect copyright.PENANA985U3u3zlE
I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.48Please respect copyright.PENANAowkUOFGWJ5
48Please respect copyright.PENANAMfuwtIXj1t
48Please respect copyright.PENANA4AafS53eW2
“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.48Please respect copyright.PENANABuEq7pBtb3
48Please respect copyright.PENANArvgxSSb4je
48Please respect copyright.PENANAY0hvab2uIi
“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”48Please respect copyright.PENANAcKEZLSwSlA
48Please respect copyright.PENANA5ydOZrm8jw
48Please respect copyright.PENANAR8X1lmiYFt
“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”48Please respect copyright.PENANAPz8rSP91VM
48Please respect copyright.PENANAHjd9IIYuU7
48Please respect copyright.PENANACnYR2Uhb6g
“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAP1JcPjStD4
48Please respect copyright.PENANAq81uA3ubQD
48Please respect copyright.PENANAWwGwWNhXF1
I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”48Please respect copyright.PENANAjx2gXol7V1
48Please respect copyright.PENANAZ98A1cK3Wa
48Please respect copyright.PENANAAeuVpD3kjh
“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAijSCjwpsvB
48Please respect copyright.PENANAJvFZ44OeIH
48Please respect copyright.PENANAxYOhMDK1sk
I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”48Please respect copyright.PENANAvRv2HnVv3u
48Please respect copyright.PENANA0E6x8dwpbZ
48Please respect copyright.PENANAb62Uo9eg4P
“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.48Please respect copyright.PENANA2TOofStMuy
48Please respect copyright.PENANAFP6iqTGDoc
48Please respect copyright.PENANAAAqrAQIKBr
“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”48Please respect copyright.PENANA5L3JQQgMfR
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”48Please respect copyright.PENANA9NFeiRq8Vv
48Please respect copyright.PENANA5IaqI7z411
48Please respect copyright.PENANAt97CXutgza
I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”48Please respect copyright.PENANAKAzMnrBHAj
48Please respect copyright.PENANAmZf7sFMrnK
48Please respect copyright.PENANAD8OUISksqh
“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.48Please respect copyright.PENANAS3FH9od8ZJ
48Please respect copyright.PENANAEvpf0Xrnuy
48Please respect copyright.PENANAgBX2OSXC4x
“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAXZXZe4NIQW
48Please respect copyright.PENANAcviq5vicue
48Please respect copyright.PENANAeo0MbHW6Zt
“I love you, Nova.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAnWNxZRdecB
48Please respect copyright.PENANASGUCIHZFtc
48Please respect copyright.PENANALOkqSwuahw
She flinched. Just a little. Then:48Please respect copyright.PENANAsRQZpuSh0l
48Please respect copyright.PENANA1a8x7Mc1sJ
48Please respect copyright.PENANANNbgSgVGyf
“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAlOnqmCk07M
48Please respect copyright.PENANAUfMJbRnMtA
48Please respect copyright.PENANArRnGCqBpMp
I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.48Please respect copyright.PENANAT95JqcxzQY
48Please respect copyright.PENANAmNWc6fethT
48Please respect copyright.PENANArA4E7FHjPs
“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAv8mukxHBn5
48Please respect copyright.PENANAlns4QpQfrO
48Please respect copyright.PENANApoOfbS9Hjy
The silence hit harder than any slap.48Please respect copyright.PENANAftwhAtZTH4
48Please respect copyright.PENANAz5wF2Kdp3U
48Please respect copyright.PENANA9NlQgJUw2J
She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.48Please respect copyright.PENANAlbhJBtnmCT
48Please respect copyright.PENANASabYem4H1a
48Please respect copyright.PENANAhB8r8iJkWY
“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”48Please respect copyright.PENANAi5GED3EZN6
48Please respect copyright.PENANAF5UkxREdXl
48Please respect copyright.PENANAGZKaLobo3U
Door slammed.48Please respect copyright.PENANAhMWfrsAKsx
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.48Please respect copyright.PENANAIfc4AzyDh3
48Please respect copyright.PENANA1wIgu7jK9Z
48Please respect copyright.PENANAIrMf6AB04f
Not the one on the tape.48Please respect copyright.PENANA7POIIH1owR
48Please respect copyright.PENANASW7l5ddChH
48Please respect copyright.PENANA2TyUZf9bjs
The one that finally decided she was done.