Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSmcbGtRE5
Too steady.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCe80ttqTT
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXerjc0yQpa
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqWR0rU1OE
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXencl4jig
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHyUjNQjC6
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yKYLFUv1L
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoi9WGhMFyN
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHsDFbuIzw
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She didn’t blink.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB98GoH6RPB
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“Tell me again.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhercIxpcB
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH17nUZRnLi
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UIu3ogkJV
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“Play that.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzIaD36sxX
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I hesitated.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30cUrynxS8
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“Play. It.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA1szeB8G7
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QsBqA574y
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c4hRqmyhy
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwd3MmBPYV
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Then laughter.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQYXS0gmIX
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNUMZYvcuf
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtXn4yOZTI
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And me again.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqe1rdtFgMh
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE1kcpcahl
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpx8iBCcDA
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYtjwvi2ox
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUdL7Glu03
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPSw9gOPOE
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYwydB2eWg
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZK72neG4bI
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ylpr7TyGW
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WWY9tHYGv
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWB5xLIHBd
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ638QZzel8N
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwAIdX72Sv
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QpSziGwuA
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSFnQqDOkV
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcf9Uv1UgL
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“I love you, Nova.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sVqeBAQ2C
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2pUvttwnv
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmH5xVUCey
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdPcT9fYCv
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcM2LeRHPoB
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The silence hit harder than any slap.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYfQGnZHad
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHnu0NldvT
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjwnjonftX
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Door slammed.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN7ZJG016J
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyHzkNqlI0
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Not the one on the tape.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HmZ0NEssM
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The one that finally decided she was done.
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