這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE8SghdsBC
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn95J1UvRg2
作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSmxjZFWi0
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxql5aJz1hV
女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCIKfAB4f7
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhqZHsWzPU
可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosBrcDnFMo
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADY8eN1G3h
因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1ImjWXudX
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZzljYSmVS
「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZhsgnQLm1
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiB9IPdq6S
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Kl4s2E3lu
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcNJTPLhKb
我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTUAxwh3IW
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRU63QSym1
「睇下我老母點應你囉。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZF7MVAO1b
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvUksCNXmb
我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuf0l4gtaK
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ziwNHYQh2
想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtefldJpC8A
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokAfa13Woc
「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cMKmid2OU
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVWTdaFcZp
她按著肚輕輕點頭。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyGk442mGd
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJTMbIrBFs
「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFwNTHGjHF
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpoySHdybC
「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OhBp2vU5D
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQE1Ffn97Y
想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClWRU9EY6I
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M4pf87ZdL
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRBLcehxTs
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLOsB25GkT
「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKpmoUE7X7
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIOwY0XWeb
看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEI0rnhpAw9
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYAoIYFJii
她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2alWjAmd9i
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGNG4bHcU8
「辣架?」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcJF6TatbS
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLJCUAq5GW
我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0G4AOtFz4
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwYyHKNRtv
「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqKg0T84EZ
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCozFCtv4I
她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtCps1NUBe
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5jKJ3WFXb
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhYRw8RxOR
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCoMf9TJfF
「唔該。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphdirmGJdw
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwHEB9IXf3
「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjWsafpvWG
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ktTOhK7h4
「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTP1BPJBh7
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsxjNUQ0yK
我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rkids8bjO
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5vrTp4GH2
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAU4ubyW8xM
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbwJ1t70HY
她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloa3JF5DjR
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡho9X6RtybI
「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCbLzTxEYt
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47PqrHuZ15
被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAxEK5nGuP
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIIfwFdIXS
「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0Z16iFUhT
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhRWmyIJ7I
我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDJasIVj2H
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8yxV8c7EY
尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlymbhgc5b4
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNssJ07NPI
老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZD0lHkkTz
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPV9DFfJG9
「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGV397UwXEr
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9a19PTkDy3
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKpirpMLha
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwW8qCiBMy
是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNKqaZs7rW
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzASt8kokL
「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHokHcvHgzB
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmMMax0Mk9
WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF92oWcAVev
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwe9dKu52YW
「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnM6gxzVQju
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNWgrHIVgo
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4TZrFyXZ2
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLfYufZBuE
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aRiHhFUT0
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnqxDsio3e
「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8lHoojJBj
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXgh2g9VRy
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFkwQe3YKm
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXKDCIlCJl
「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGFze5qVXH
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1cKXGZHbv
「茶你老…」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5gIgSo2Ju
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHcmXNEmXb
「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoL3O1TI21
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6VoHKVCor
我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuaKyKUr89
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UzeOIuZmY
「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIravCLTe3
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctADp6GJOo
「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4v3PipvMg6
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTPf8TtCxA
我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVojma6u6ow
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Bjc7RbrJh
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrf4CaocyCo
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6xuBuR4tt
我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOblLWUeaMa
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyQRXmLpG9
「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMyvGAoQ4s
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkizJ6QSCu
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkQ075Cved
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