俺,楊小二,雖然是叫小二,但…不是排行第二個。俺可是楊家長女…是也。俺家,一共兩隻小楊。家中還有一個外表文質“冰冰“、內心非常火熱的小弟。396Please respect copyright.PENANAhnAUbHpcFf
首先,當老大…396Please respect copyright.PENANA0JHA3MANw9
不!我們應該換句話說:排行長…就是有比弟妹多了一些人生歷練。396Please respect copyright.PENANAfQaSKofHUd
「小二!幫我買東西。蛋!還有醬油…」396Please respect copyright.PENANALL570Brjn6
「小二!妳這個分數,以後怎麼給弟弟看?」396Please respect copyright.PENANAgVfT9WNwA8
「小二!妳出門的時候不用把弟弟的手牽好嗎?」396Please respect copyright.PENANA4pJoNTPWqt
「小二!妳弟又哭了…可以叫他不要跟我們一起玩嗎?」396Please respect copyright.PENANA052Rbzvjrc
「小二!……」396Please respect copyright.PENANAX31hYPwQU6
「小二!……」396Please respect copyright.PENANAVaj6WWL3XA
這童年的訓練,在我幼小的心靈,充滿了回憶點。有時候都會有一種幻聽,有人在叫我!396Please respect copyright.PENANAz25a4h43wY
「警告你喔!不要再叫我囉!」瞪。396Please respect copyright.PENANAojFVBnBrJ8
396Please respect copyright.PENANAgJ2s7MCdEB
為什麼叫小二,基本上就是楊家的店小二啊!呼來喚去的那種小二…396Please respect copyright.PENANAxDf8zMIVh2
396Please respect copyright.PENANABGNrh9gtgA
其實也不算是抱怨。因為俺家小弟真是相當出彩,書讀得不差…工作也做得不錯…在家人、長輩眼中,他就是一個很好的孩子。相對……396Please respect copyright.PENANANcJkSqZPS1
不出彩的姊姊這下就很麻煩了。為此,大姊總是要培養出相當的技能,以讓自己的日子好過。例如說:396Please respect copyright.PENANAzT1nU9Q5kt
舉凡你想得到的,大姊上!396Please respect copyright.PENANANuQ8gEdHhW
舉凡你想得到的,卻沒有做的,大姊上!396Please respect copyright.PENANAEgtTfT7Jtr
舉凡你想不到的,又沒有做的,現在一定要的,大姊上!396Please respect copyright.PENANAAolxXaiAql
夜深夢迴時…俺小二覺得自己比較像保姆吧。396Please respect copyright.PENANAB3L6O7pHMr
「小二!」396Please respect copyright.PENANAQvlQojL6wI
「好咧!來囉!」我也就這樣…自暴自棄了。(不要拉我。)396Please respect copyright.PENANAAeoNkWrtgD
396Please respect copyright.PENANA2bZmfXA6ZR
咱家兩小楊,相差六歲。小時候就是要領著他出門、領著他回來。上學、放學、補習、如果偶爾還要買東西,要記得拎著他去。不然他會哭。396Please respect copyright.PENANA1lBDhyo9tu
當愛哭包長大了,你以為他就可以不和你繼續綁在一起的時候,俺娘通知俺:「弟考上和妳同一個縣市的大學,妳以後要常常照顧他啊!」396Please respect copyright.PENANAmlaZ3SYd8z
NONONO(搖搖俺的食指),什麼晴天霹靂?!俺不來這套。只是在乍聽到這個消息時,身體默默抖動的時候想:「人生啊…就是在你覺得我脫離了苦難的時候,忽然又加了一個進來。這就是人生的奇妙!」396Please respect copyright.PENANAEJ5S4831fg
396Please respect copyright.PENANA7dQEepTXXa
若說,別人家的大姊怎麼樣?有沒有威嚴?我不知道。但我們家,當小二都這麼久了,小二的威嚴是什麼樣子呢?396Please respect copyright.PENANA9I8NZI7v2a
嗯…我找到的那天,再告訴你。396Please respect copyright.PENANAJrc8qVy9SM
396Please respect copyright.PENANAjEKH6pijsX
話說畢業多年後,他還是賴在我家…從週休二日、變成了一週七天…396Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6GcW6lqrV
也就是說,我從一週只要應付他兩天,進步到七天…396Please respect copyright.PENANA4UovGfmLXT
在種種的令人打擊的狀況下,也是有一點好處的。(我好樂觀喔!)396Please respect copyright.PENANAKpZKWXynh4
396Please respect copyright.PENANAnKKeccmlvJ
小二之所以是小二,就是對外,都是小二出面。396Please respect copyright.PENANARSQnDZvVHs
小弟就會負起煮飯、及相當的持家功能。396Please respect copyright.PENANAM5HcYIRZN0
所以餐,他煮;碗,我洗。單,他開;買,我去。分工是相當明確的。396Please respect copyright.PENANAWehHcn5hbJ
但當兩個人都不想動的時候,就是楊家拳展出時候:『剪刀石頭布』!396Please respect copyright.PENANAEkD6kLSfjz
這套拳法,俺已經精研多年,不論是出拳前的心態、表情、及速度等等,無一不研究!396Please respect copyright.PENANAjsIHWQsF7e
只不過…就是對外人沒贏過。(外人,泛指家人以外的人。)396Please respect copyright.PENANApk04e2tN7r
是的,回家反省很久之後,小二能夠確定的是:「輸外人也就算了,能贏小弟就好了。」這個結論充份的安慰了我那自小到大對外人十猜九輸的心情。396Please respect copyright.PENANA5CyPKeQMXf
千萬不要問我是怎麼猜的,我只能說:老天爺給了我很多美好,總是要留一點缺點給我的。(咬牙!認真!)396Please respect copyright.PENANAOHTZbL5PfV
在幼稚的猜拳時,絕對的專注。這個時候,當大姊一點優勢也沒有…在楊家拳面前,大家都是平等的。396Please respect copyright.PENANAjGlbjvj4F3
396Please respect copyright.PENANAyjUsa13VcW
我必須要強調一件事!身為大姊真的沒有那麼慘…396Please respect copyright.PENANAYXRQf0bK7L
除了爸媽的抱怨都會來找你。正經的弟弟偶爾脫線、還要偶爾擔任家人的心理諮商、三不五時被通知:妳是姊姊就要多擔待一點。之外…396Please respect copyright.PENANA9W72rozFyZ
物質不要算、心理的部份還是相當充足的…396Please respect copyright.PENANANYFdUQCofP
扣掉偶爾想要半夜殺掉親弟弟、或是翻白眼到天邊、忙著追劇還被叫去做事情、等等小事外…396Please respect copyright.PENANA0pQOrxmyns
我想當大姊,還是相當愉快的。396Please respect copyright.PENANAfyq7naWiKl
396Please respect copyright.PENANATEOsEWrXkR
喔!我忽然想起來我最有威嚴的時候是什麼時候了。396Please respect copyright.PENANAbvSbJw1lcA
「你是想吵架嗎?」冷眼看了小弟一眼。然後小弟默默的跟我說:「沒有。姊~~」396Please respect copyright.PENANAGzPZJy3pkN
396Please respect copyright.PENANAH5isVHWFDS
說這句話的時候的我,好帥!(感動。)396Please respect copyright.PENANA5SOdWlK6Do
我絕對不會告訴你們,我出國時候,被我弟拉背包控制左邊、右邊。被人懷疑是他妹妹、不是姊姊。396Please respect copyright.PENANAtmEdmZ0iAl
也絕對沒有:「啊!可是我看他都在照顧妳啊!」這件事。396Please respect copyright.PENANA4q1kPhlAqd
396Please respect copyright.PENANAGRjJBKHlJK
以上。396Please respect copyright.PENANA7Xm7fbUxzK
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你在家中的排行是......
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1st
你在家中的排行是......
Published:
Oct 26, 2017
ENTRY #3
俺就是傳說中的老大啊…
Author:
楊小二
Published:
Oct 26, 2017
4 Mins Read
1,240 Words
LIKES 2
READS 392
BOOKMARKS 1
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