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再醒來的時候。我坐在醫院冰涼的走廊長椅上。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhUujbmxza
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「獄寺？你醒了？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF21RujpwS
正依靠的肩膀瘦弱卻堅定，安心的氣息。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHnBIlLvpn
我抬頭撞上十代首領滿是擔憂與憐憫的目光，他的臉蒼白至無血色。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXphMnNCw4h
「醒來就好醒來就好，哪裡還痛麼？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXlf7Neml6
我機械的搖頭，喉嚨幹到吐不出完整句子。如往常時，我也許會馬上從他懷裏脫逃出來，用敬語不停對剛才自己的無理舉動道歉。然而現在，我想任性一下。因為我太過於需要，這個容我卸下防備，縱我袒露軟弱的避風港。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NJkZYQ3Cp
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「下次不要再這麽莽撞了，知道嗎！」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tysqEhJUG
他手掌輕緩的，若有若無撫著我的背脊，上面附有母親的溫度。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgIesZheIQ
走道裏三兩個人焦慮的走過，急診室的氣氛不如想像中那麽窒息，令人惶恐的死寂，偶爾傳來的幾聲哀號。黑夜有些冰冷，我們依賴在一起像是互相取暖。縱然我清楚自己幷不瞭解，也無從瞭解到十代目的私人生活。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OpdTFeVia
他是否有在戀愛？或許也會因爲思念而焦慮，甚至是被傷害後的迷茫？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAsi1NUPpe
總能看透我的十代首領，無需我多言，也知道我在被什麽羈絆著動彈不得的十代首領…44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRoxJIzJe7
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aU2ZU17E5
「十代目……」 委屈，痛苦，這一刻被無形引力吸出開始瓦解我佯裝的堅强…44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KHMZUNS0A
額頭粗略纏著惱人情緒的紗布，手臂的傷口還在隱隱作痛。我真窩囊，明明是要挑釁，卻被對方教訓得要首領幫我善後。現在還要一副孬種樣依賴在需要我保護的人懷中，思考那些有的沒的兒女情長。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhk5NpVaKp
泄露單相思沒有收穫，但却很輕鬆。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMN988tmJY
罪惡感令山本會對我格外溫柔。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPpp9lLfoc
而且一定不會再發生比這更糟糕的事情，不會再受更深的傷害。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfI3d72c75F
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgk7aG6fSzN
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但是……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KEJlr2T6M
嚼不爛的痛苦，理不清的哀傷。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNKwSgq0VF
如果可以將它們藏在某處不被發現……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGwiEYYzT6
鼻子好酸，眼睛發脹，下一秒我再無法控制自己。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNSbfR7xU3
「好啦，要是想哭的話……」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZAGBlogB6
「獄寺…我都明白的，明白。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkKbB8fvM4
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMW5Ys7HEbO
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44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡla44sy4z2S
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再無法控制的…44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KVxeR3fyz
「…十…十代…唔……」 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEjdrmNK7Y
淚如雨下。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgUyzm8hm6
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請原諒我…不會太久…44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHzRdVXF5u
就這一小會兒…馬上就會好了……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kHx4cHuHI
等這些懦弱的液體流到幹了，就可以再拿起武器…44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Vz6ry5bno
再不會讓你操心…沒什麽再可以再阻攔我……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNgUum2M62
倒帶回曾經單一却安全的生活…不受束縛。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPDnk087Sy
眼裏只會追隨你一人，其餘不想過問…44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05FEnPuBKH
即使是他……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT6Y062xMF
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山本……你現在正在做什麽？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqeCXUqxFw
是不是正在心疼，被我狠心毆打挂彩的雲雀？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWPTMW5wfL
正在爲他細心包扎傷口，用一貫的寵溺與深情語氣。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7i41SeqdE
那麼那個人映在山本瞳孔中的身影會是怎樣的？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6naxwyhU8
是不是也在像我一般懷揣著一灌稠濃的漿液，44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGu2CDLD7o
滿打滿撞撒在各處角落一灘灘，或粘膩得緊貼在身上甩不凈？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UZGBYDFXF
也會想要觸碰他寬廣的肩，還有他燦爛的臉麼。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5n0uEw4jyx
那時，山本的心中會發出怎樣的聲響？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlGOjn5lhj
那個応接室裏充斥著怎樣的回憶？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxMp2EIYCw
一直，一直……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMsoKhULfZ
都只有兩個人的吧。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfnvJCWJV9
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專門找藉口，多次經過可以裝作偶然相遇他的地方。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MRxD847I1
哪怕只能見一面，聽一次聲音也可以。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLqhar6ajn
拼命地思念，使勁掙扎著。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCELNYrhEOz
但是我只明白這點，光是思念就令人快要心痛死。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaXA3WrP8V
而無法離開你的理由，只要這心痛就够了。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡne3DHcIJjb
不過，放心吧，這算得了什麽大事。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidekXAOCik
哪怕會親眼見到這些，我也不會像易碎品斷裂，能夠繼續活下去。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqBC8679Xg
哪怕山本一直惦記著那個人，哪怕再看他同樣充滿不安的神情…44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqIA2oXnOD
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRqaKhWmKz
我的心也不會輕易崩潰。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmnGQNMB8p
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxyvBsaLKg
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等傷好到連疤都看不到我才肯回學校上課，山本主動跑過來遞給我筆記。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YJQ7g7p1z
我才不相信，他上課能記到重點在紙上，只是翻開了看，了了草草的他的字迹，我讀得到滿滿的認真，還參雜著不應有的，心軟與愧疚。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9vO9qmbMf
一抬頭，發現班裏大部分同學均向我這邊投來複雜目光。有些女生不顧山本此行目的，做作得走過來搭訕，一舉一動連我鶏皮疙瘩掉了一地。 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSTMj9aqiv
「山本同學，你和獄寺同學認識？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtgpGz2GSi
「獄寺同學爲什麽從來不說你們是國中同學？！」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPlgyNPAvm
「山本同學，這是我自己做的點心，不介意的話就收下吧！」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjM0tKN8Pl
「山本同學的棒球聽說很厲害，有打算加入棒球社團麽？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRYmJNNvkl
「山本同學……」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7pl9j1VSo
够了都給我滾！44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qFdw7Vhlx
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人群聚集一堆嘰嘰喳喳，我完全沒了吃午餐的習慣，逃似的飛奔出教室。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinOQhu9ydd
任憑山本在後面怎樣喊我的名也顧不上絲毫的猶豫。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4aLGBcdhV
我真想馬上找個地洞鉆進去，永遠都不要出來。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsdEObOx5S
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44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDB35jzRfy2
「獄寺！等等我！」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8YUjnFO28
我已經記不住自己跑了多久，他竟然一直在後面窮追不捨。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSHfMBmWqn
沒辦法，根本沒有吃早餐的我肯定敵不過他運動神經發達，只好停下脚步找個地方猛喘大氣。他追上來，扶住靠著墻逐漸下滑的我死不放手，雖然我用眼神威脅他無數次。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FUWO8AvTv
「你很煩……」 我和他上一次對話，好似已經是很久前了。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSG7kTAiQSp
他完全忽視了我一切反面的情緒。「一起去福利社買午飯吧！獄寺！」 沒等我反應，乾淨得笑著拽住我走。 醞釀好的拒絕也被他濕熱的掌溫融化。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaWTgn1w5f
我要被你這樣牽著鼻子走到何時？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LgN1cRL3X
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他肯定是看過雲雀才來這兒，我知道自己把雲雀傷的不輕。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmORZna0But
若山本老媽子似的囑咐我幾句，我全當聽狗吠。然而他未多表現出一分异樣，只是將買好的套餐端到我面前，討好似的笑容。 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegmAOj02ny
「還頭暈嗎？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MrT7gNZIH
我沒應他，只是側頭。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxdWM8ZRCF
我也不知自己鬧什麽彆扭，但就是看不慣，這樣曖昧場景。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4kiF7l0rV
對我狠點更好，我更容易恨你，然後我們就玩完。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQWjZRBNA9
「獄寺？」 煩不煩啊你。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMLiDWXsKI
不要總是用這種語氣叫我的名字。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnS181wOBj9
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「獄寺怎麽不吃？是不喜歡人多麼…沒辦法，中午食堂就是這樣。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbR66ZXVSy
「不過爲了吃美食，總是要犧牲點呢。」 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjWyndcZ0Q
他把自己碗裏的蝦肉球都夾給我， 「獄寺喜歡吃這個吧？吶，都給你。」　44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybVx7mOtFk
再沒力氣和他作對。我閉上眼睛，緩緩別過頭。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTB4QEaYyul
心裏絲絲縷縷的酸澀……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCrI5QGszn
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBf4GtkHPj
山本……你可不可以試著，這樣講給我聽？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4wFljIF5z
『都給你。你想要的，想從我這裡拿走的都可以給你。』44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1tB7unbdi
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儘管我知道一切根本不可能如此發生。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8DkIio4Ow
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「我不餓，你吃你的，不用管我。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfImZoNpNCf
既然無法回應我，那就不要再給我希望。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy7c5lrI7E
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我乾脆放下筷子，將視線挪至走動的人群。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaD4bfSxY1
能感覺到氣氛由盛至衰逐漸尷尬起來，他也只好低頭默默扒飯。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRONAJ0APl
幾個風紀委員估計是記住了我的長相，路過我身邊的時候能感覺到敵意。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFINCIe5Wf
「說起來。雲雀沒怎麼樣吧。」 我沒頭沒腦竟然要問這個？！44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLhpT2WSSF
他啞然。過了好一會兒才講， 「沒事了，傷……恢復得差不多了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCSLpvkudO
有那麽嬌氣？！我記得自己下手很輕的，因為心有它顧。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmv6ZHBobm
看著山本一臉五官凝聚的苦惱狀，忍不住一笑。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfdmcExBji
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這個白癡，因為戀愛的事情開始會察言觀色了嗎？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOv8Zr5tkL
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緊接著是更深的沉默。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgsNQ4r9hk
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44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHi9XtQOc06
「我肋骨都好了呢！」 他突然轉移話題， 「你看，我又活動自如了！」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYK7ltw50tz
「不要得意忘形啦混蛋快坐好。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RSHEKUOOj
「那次被雲雀修理的夠嗆啊！不過都是因為我吸煙的錯啦…」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy1qspnSJ8
吸煙？你已經開始吸烟了麼…44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFBc0W3i88
靠！是誰天天雞婆似叫我戒煙的！44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49WhyghhN9
爲什麽你也吸煙了……你在煩惱些什麽？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2c2pQn8Rzs
同時煙民，或許那幷不是因爲煙的味道有多麼誘惑。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpSuRcRLWQ
只是人會空虛，需要一種習慣性動作填補這空白。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa857qE5zX
你這麼做，是因為空虛還是什麽？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfM2ghpuao
你已經堅定決心，不再做棒球手了？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XgPlII9ia
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……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZOPqTm5ar
看他手舞足蹈滑稽的樣子想要逗我笑。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSudvRU1F5b
更是心酸似吃了一顆梅。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKT2Vh1XYqZ
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxORvaaySsb
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡye9S7845L0
我正思索著，突然迎面他的手撲上來。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdJkTzDOw2
「獄寺，你傷好重。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyO2zdqCjFw
我嚇得本想往後一撤，身體卻僵硬在原地。任憑他揉我沒搭理的亂髮。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4A5SeaQBu
「雲雀手勁兒大，你小心被他傷到要害。」 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCME9GYx5aK
你這是放馬後炮吧，而且真正傷到要害的不是你麼？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInWNCSvWCZ
「……你…背還疼麼？」 我故作冷漠的語調。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtZGo2YZWN
「獄寺終于肯說話啦，來吃飯吧！」 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjS7gey0Knr
他又將筷子遞到我面前。「我沒事噢！這幾天休息好著呢，大補了幾頓。現在十萬火急的想要運動啊唉！」 說著還不忘展示他肱二頭肌。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsx00I1vWrR
「那就不要再在風紀混了，打棒球去。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2ghC6awFi
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAlj4yZcje
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxkyHxWzUE
……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rbjSHChKe
我不自主講出這句，事後才意識到不自然。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfe4tSMIJaA
山本瞳孔一縮，結結巴巴支吾了一下， 「之前我問獄寺…」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyqC5v7TBu
「你根本早就自己决定好了吧！」 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUiI5z01iA
一股怒氣竄上心頭，我拍案而起。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyvMtgQ3Ud
我那些都是謊話！你根本就是爲了找個契機給自己一個正當理由而已！44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5SDbuwQwU
「根本就是你自己！抽煙喝酒！參加幫派！裝什麽受傷！」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEBwd9wa0L
「獄、獄寺？……冷靜啊……」 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZnI4Ds81B
他慌張的拉我，顯露出為難的樣子。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pVAHZjIn4
周圍的人紛紛瞧向我們這邊，醜惡的嘴臉在看熱鬧。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTg3X9XHZg
包括掩藏在人群中的黑衣男人。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVHm9krUQw
雲雀恭彌，你他媽個混蛋。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkvT22JxDl
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIuzB3KzaV
打與不打，對我意義不大。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjRfCnIa7M
然而看不到你與棒球的結伴，我的心變得空蕩。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvJnPgEupO
縱使被他人鄙視，那些東西卻是我的寶貝。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAZlOe1J8q
山本武，你又一次成功逼迫我煩躁起來。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBbqorNVTJ
頭皮撓出血肉，骨胳也吱吱喳喳跟著開始叫囂起來。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqAy2DCaXQ
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7Ic6nyZT1
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryyqaJhtDn
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdLbnYJuVL
他體味到我怒氣，沒再講話。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bMEENC9P0
四目相對的時候，我好想擁緊他。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cOXJixKoR
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tXMLG3XBA
他像是雨，倘若可以感受到這濕潤，自己也會像是草木在放晴後的生長，一夜間長大麼？不過也許他會忘記了吧，那時候的風那時候的雲，那時候的光影嘈雜。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3rcaawZBB
儘管那麼認真的生氣過迷茫過、隱忍過受傷過，隨著時間流逝笑著回想起來，也許在這個過程中連記憶也會漸漸消失吧。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxPX48W9hy
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvw7jUo2G9
但是那時候，我的確是在那裡存在過的。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1VxiwwuVm
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VPckYqOGO
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsswx6ICcww
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25UbvOUeO0
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOanPAawT48
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIcfdLmLfB
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7wDQttOwP
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJgFN5JEWB
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1crZ8RmO5M
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1ppYNN2s4
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcfoPMGa01
（未完待續）