溫如冬按停嚇人的鬧鐘,起床。她在鬧鐘響前已經醒來,躺在床上看天花,好像,愈看愈暗。271Please respect copyright.PENANA9UQI1oves9
271Please respect copyright.PENANAT5rLoA4SGC
穿上米色毛衣,她的身顫一顫抖,那是不夠暖的,可是好看比其他外套一點。271Please respect copyright.PENANA7QvwCGoHZv
271Please respect copyright.PENANA86hRjn5KmK
她乘校巴上課,進課室後,坐到邊緣位置。271Please respect copyright.PENANAYHJ77pmCi1
271Please respect copyright.PENANA14cToji8CL
這是大學通識堂,其實她早就讀完,但見這個課程頗有趣,便選擇、順利讀上。她打了一個不着聲色的呵欠,聽課、抄筆記。271Please respect copyright.PENANAD7DbK8ocqH
271Please respect copyright.PENANAsc5whQsumc
老師很喜歡說外語,某某學家的名字是德語,但他寫在白板上的則是英文,連同他的著作。但坐在最右邊的溫如冬,看不清楚左邊白板的字,尚有螢幕遮蓋。她艱難地將頭伸過去,還是看不到。271Please respect copyright.PENANAQgBZuOE28Z
271Please respect copyright.PENANAwaBqjbVB44
隔了一個貼着「Please don’t sit」的座位,旁邊的是一個男生。271Please respect copyright.PENANAhT9RK7uDco
271Please respect copyright.PENANAQsw4VluuFW
他遞過自己的筆記:「你個位睇唔到呀,我抄完借你啦。」271Please respect copyright.PENANAv1HeITaM9o
271Please respect copyright.PENANAvXGdoNwNoK
「哦、哦,好,唔該晒。」271Please respect copyright.PENANAwRFwdU3mtQ
271Please respect copyright.PENANAdB9HWEFpBE
每當老師在白板上寫字,這男生揮筆幾下後,便會將筆記遞給溫如冬。他的字很好看,似一套剛勁的腳法。271Please respect copyright.PENANAHbQKAPT8NA
271Please respect copyright.PENANAeL646p0uzF
他們沒有再說過話,一直都如此交流。直到他掏出一張便利貼,連同筆記遞給她;便利貼上寫:271Please respect copyright.PENANA0NtQeSKysI
271Please respect copyright.PENANA7qGqgRIADD
「你叫咩名?」271Please respect copyright.PENANAZmdD9v1Fya
271Please respect copyright.PENANApLZAvEgVZ0
「溫如冬。」她遞回去。271Please respect copyright.PENANAkGIxXgTrof
271Please respect copyright.PENANAGRxzp9Po8c
「我叫Wall。你咩major?」271Please respect copyright.PENANA1onHDZUN9e
271Please respect copyright.PENANAe2tSREuMXy
「文研。」她寫上梁匡生的主修科目,不由得怔了一怔;與他已幾天不見,十分思念,但是單思無用。271Please respect copyright.PENANAjsYnA5huWx
271Please respect copyright.PENANAZHBELw1Qsh
「冇見過你嘅,我都文研。」271Please respect copyright.PENANAAYmKNwytwp
271Please respect copyright.PENANAqJEsuBOeXQ
溫如冬抬眼看Wall,與他對視,又將目光放在老師上。Wall再沒有給她遞便條紙。271Please respect copyright.PENANAFFi3873Yr7
271Please respect copyright.PENANAlyfEfAtgYq
下課時,Wall問:「你自己一個上?」271Please respect copyright.PENANALKQLqrMy7X
271Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZT18GlFV1
「係。」271Please respect copyright.PENANAn5IWPp52TH
271Please respect copyright.PENANATTQhF5cSo4
「交換個ig?有咩都可以搵大家幫手。」271Please respect copyright.PENANAOgF9oadf0l
271Please respect copyright.PENANAVtdgpQb6qg
「Err……」271Please respect copyright.PENANAAVwDVlozM3
271Please respect copyright.PENANAbVh9xRJffG
「下堂我哋會再見㗎嘛,反正都會一齊上堂,識個朋友冇壞。」他說。271Please respect copyright.PENANAv9uO74JYBW
271Please respect copyright.PENANApGFL9Es032
於是,他們真的互相追蹤了對方的Instagram。甫出課室,溫如冬便習慣性地搜刮Wall的帳户,她見到梁匡生,準確點說,是梁匡生的用户名稱,Wall發佈了限時動態,是與幾個男生一同打遊戲機。271Please respect copyright.PENANADRFUOPTfD2
271Please respect copyright.PENANA3Dt97kLLCV
噢,他們同系,就算是機友也不足為奇。271Please respect copyright.PENANA8no0Qwvdqn
271Please respect copyright.PENANA2VGrBpjqQB
溫如冬繼續「Stalk」Wall的帳戶,尋找梁匡生的蹤跡——認識她前,打機;認識她後,打機;被她表白後,打機……她洩氣於自己的出現和離開沒有為他帶來任何改變。271Please respect copyright.PENANAaB1XvJJyuY
271Please respect copyright.PENANA8l6PExNwEK
她表白後的幾天至今,與梁匡生還很偶然地聊天。271Please respect copyright.PENANA2EKt0Ifb3V
271Please respect copyright.PENANAIhfIgqV5o9
梁匡生頗關心她,時常傳一些Memes給她,或者問她:「你OK嗎?」271Please respect copyright.PENANAHuI9C2YWu4
271Please respect copyright.PENANAit8u2asyLq
每次她快要哀愁完了,一看到他的訊息,身子又變軟。271Please respect copyright.PENANAI2kisJGED1
271Please respect copyright.PENANATHeOjrRDrg
她不OK!不OK!誰人表白失敗會OK?271Please respect copyright.PENANAIBaICJ7Uit
271Please respect copyright.PENANA8J69xjpMMO
說來可笑,她對他有點期望,以為若然她主動,他會試着考慮,或者不會堅決拒絕。她又不算太失望,始終她一開始故作瀟灑,表示渴望自由而盡興的關係,如今忽然反悔,也算她飄忽。這種互為拉扯的掙扎每日都使她懊悔——為什麼要表白呢?溫如冬,你將一段舒適友誼破壞了!271Please respect copyright.PENANAaDN9oUQMMB
271Please respect copyright.PENANAcnUR2KSZUP
但她現在沒有心情想這些,只覺得很失落、很失落。271Please respect copyright.PENANA1qR1zoBkSi
271Please respect copyright.PENANAbZVcuLJ7cO
每日,她都假裝若無其事:「當然OK,strong㗎嘛。」可是,精神不振。271Please respect copyright.PENANAVkg0TeuzIv
271Please respect copyright.PENANAEm36EK8xJm
溫如冬告訴梁匡生:「我識咗你個friend喎,叫阿Wall.」271Please respect copyright.PENANA7oBTut4I0P
271Please respect copyright.PENANAirrXpq8PDP
即使被拒絕了,仍然忍不住靠近——梁匡生於她是有這樣的魅力,她是傷心沒錯、空虛沒錯,但是如果和他聊上一會兒的天,她的難過又未至於完全蠶食她。271Please respect copyright.PENANAiVwtFpnijd
271Please respect copyright.PENANA3FH4fW3MLq
無法灑脫地就此離去。和他,是朋友,一直都是,她為什麼要走呢?271Please respect copyright.PENANAwG5F1a2lKQ
271Please respect copyright.PENANAHEoxJ3uPq3
「點識?」271Please respect copyright.PENANAyWERxMXjj4
271Please respect copyright.PENANA6YEAwE6ny6
就算裹足不前,亦不應轉身前奔,對吧?她依然貪戀與他相處時的快樂,即使不再曖昧,但是,自然地相處時的那份隨性輕鬆,不必然要因她的心意而消失吧?271Please respect copyright.PENANABA1JwuuLQe
271Please respect copyright.PENANAhUkGi74FEL
「同學,換咗ig,見你同佢打機。」她回覆。271Please respect copyright.PENANAsTWnoDenJj
271Please respect copyright.PENANACJY2ig5y97
「你點解同佢換ig?佢媾女王嚟,好危險㗎!」他秒回。271Please respect copyright.PENANAkRpKgTrME2
271Please respect copyright.PENANAs0igaZMj2n
「吓……有咩危險?(張口哦的表情)」271Please respect copyright.PENANAECPIfwDwQC
271Please respect copyright.PENANA8HdxKWnTAr
「我驚你畀佢呃咋。」271Please respect copyright.PENANAHsVSQ0zFO7
271Please respect copyright.PENANAMRmfIZMfWB
「嗯(張口哦的表情)?」271Please respect copyright.PENANAWqbLluvsxG
271Please respect copyright.PENANAovwhlXIGAh
「我可能冇資格講(垂頭低眉的表情),但係,你唔好信佢。」271Please respect copyright.PENANA3BaO9Sx2lv
271Please respect copyright.PENANAtMy4lJBxz9
溫如冬的臉上終於有笑意,這些天來,她終於感覺到梁匡生的關心是真實的、由他本人出發的,而非一堆預設她的情緒而敷衍的安慰。271Please respect copyright.PENANAgsXuFniDQv
271Please respect copyright.PENANAHPUXsx9fBo
他是在乎她的吧?可是為什麼,只能止於友誼呢?271Please respect copyright.PENANALBBfK5U2Fo
271Please respect copyright.PENANAvqF6EYHDHB
她無法對他生氣,但止𣎴住地怨恨自己。271Please respect copyright.PENANAEVa5FG3CeH
271Please respect copyright.PENANAu3FgEaEhwa
如果沒有動情,今早,她可能會在他的懷裏醒來。不、不——她又想:如果沒有動情,她根本不會投入他的懷裏。271Please respect copyright.PENANABZHgrzqwlL
271Please respect copyright.PENANAZct37701TB
梁匡生又說:「我想見你,呢幾日一直諗住你。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAPtW3ybhyjI
**
271Please respect copyright.PENANA11EyMDHCiC
分組作業的時候,由於他沒有和相熟的人讀同一個課程,便四處找人組隊。他選擇容貌姣好的女同學,禮貌詢問,卻被禮貌回絕;他又主動找了其他人,但最後只有他最初不希望同組的人願意收留他——只消如此,他便悶悶不樂,一整天死氣沉沉。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAMU68NA0GET
他沒有來由地想起溫如冬。
271Please respect copyright.PENANATviI87pUY5
有關習慣這回事,一直都非常玄妙,常言21天或66天就會習慣一件事,所以,這成了好多人實現目標的其一指標。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAt5ePD8IXzM
梁匡生反覆思考與溫如冬的關係。
271Please respect copyright.PENANANVvnOTtDkP
她已如此勇敢。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAb9nsulZyfI
開口表白、給予退路、願意等待、假裝無事、表現開朗——這些是他本人也做不到的事情。以往要麼女神一早抗拒他,要麼他在表白失敗後大受打擊、鬰鬰不歡。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAXBVwt9EJF9
溫如冬令他感到驚喜,不止在於她的心意,而是她的表達。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA82708fzG29
「咩事,而家先flirt我?」 她回覆他。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA3ULLKFNsoS
「唔係……唔係愛情嗰種曖曖昩昩。」他又繼續講:「純粹係,掛住你。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAcP20vTYVo4
她說:「唔係愛情,咁係咩?」
271Please respect copyright.PENANABm7S7CCEh8
「唔知。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAGfh0zoLUpL
「哈,我係好正,但我唔想理你,彈彈。」溫如冬瞇眼,什麼叫想念而不是愛情?
271Please respect copyright.PENANA3sHsobtutn
他是清楚她喜歡他吧!這樣似是而非的話,只會令她沉迷更深。
271Please respect copyright.PENANANjzq9UYJsa
梁匡生說:「唔好啦。(嗲嗲表情)」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAnKhgJBCOrR
溫如冬對他是無法有硬心腸:「講五個掛住我嘅理由?」
271Please respect copyright.PENANACg06qbutk5
「幾日冇見——我覺得呢一點,好似已經足夠。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAuKeEutoyOv
「但唔係愛情。」她自嘲。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAqxgsxiUm7h
天氣依然寒冷,但又不至令他睡了十小時後留戀被窩,可是如果有個人與他相擁,他就會覺得這天是冷得剛好。她悄悄地揣測他的想法,也許是需要人陪嗎?
271Please respect copyright.PENANAaoqMp2tzUy
271Please respect copyright.PENANARb67dGdROL
「我希望你開心,我冇辦法畀到幸福你,但如果你繼續用朋友身份同我相處,我好歡迎。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANA1Mr8OVbhpd
梁匡生後悔自己拒絕了她的表白。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA1DAuRrqYtu
雖然是她作主動,但他也因此有份改變了他們的關係。友達以上、戀人未滿的迷霧全被吹散,只得兩塊醜陋孤單的石輕輕靠近,他們心比眼清澈,其中一塊渴望將自己融成其他物質,另一塊卻被嚇怕,滿足於冷硬的體溫,感嘆迷霧真好。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAtO4ZE9xUQj
溫如冬不開心:「頂你,講到尾就係friendzone我。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANARZAnk9vz31
可是,他並不後悔沒有與她戀愛。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAoy6MT8vN4i
「唔係……」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAeekM2pPZz8
梁匡生說不清,但是自從送她回宿舍之後,仿佛她以後只能被他送到門的千里之外,他不再有任何與她親近的機會。他清楚,此行之後,她將會愈行愈遠之後,於是忐忑不安。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAQI6N8SwEqr
他不一定想她留下,但絕不想她離開。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA7VIlKj0rDc
溫如冬沉不住氣:「不如今晚食個飯,嚟我度外賣。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAl5u4IXLbtk
她知道他不喜歡她。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAk3mhHQgfxT
但是,但是,他說思念她——這至少代表,她很重要是嗎?他是在乎她的,但不知如何整理思緒是嗎?
271Please respect copyright.PENANA7dvBSJpwK4
管他呢。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAxaibBVzvag
溫如冬不管了!不管了!不要再假裝瀟灑、堅強、無所謂,他可是頗了解她的人。何須,她理會對方是否真心鍾愛她?現在,是她很想見他!她告白的本意,從不是斷絕二人關係。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA5DYsYskIBK
「真係可以?」梁匡生問。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA3V59SQgMhs
「我哋以前都係咁啦。」她的意思是:我同以前一樣想見你。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAyLy08AK4cd
梁匡生沒有開口:我哋以前都唔係咁啦。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAvfosYXVBXz
「See you。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANA6l028uKuYi
他跑去上主修科的堂,收起電話,與朋友聊天,慢慢將「分組」的不快忘記。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA9GH4Ubvyju
**
271Please respect copyright.PENANAhifv0h8Ox3
晚上,溫如冬和梁匡生一同攝手攝腳地進入宿舍,她依然走在前方,確認廚房和走廊沒有人,才讓他內進。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAN8QDinUQdn
271Please respect copyright.PENANA8xwUjciNC3
她不想讓其他人知道,自己帶一個不知如何稱呼的人上房。早一陣子,她尚算寬心,因為當時他是「可能的未來男友」,如今他是「只能是朋友」。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAAkl76yST4X
呵——說什麼世界變壞,只願放大一刻情感呢?由頭到尾,她只想被愛、感受被愛;恰恰不慎愛上這種錯覺,於是,無法感受被愛。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA7Q6twmKsqo
二人吃着兩餸飯,互相交換餸菜。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA4nU3nI5dJs
咀嚼的嘴巴一直沉默,真到見面的時候,溫如冬卻不知道還有什麼好聊,她只想說愛他。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAPZwkjROZ84
然後,梁匡生忽然餵她吃一口雞柳,又說:「Sorry。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANA5orf3ZErdt
她呆呆接過:「食飯又sor咩ry?」
271Please respect copyright.PENANApqZvlR7m2y
他提着筷子的手一直掛在半空:「我係咪唔應該搵返你?」
271Please respect copyright.PENANALKrSahsViv
「咩係搵返……你冇一日冇搵我。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANADasrnqI9nt
「意義唔同。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAmDPus5KXZu
她靜靜地看他;他續道:「我好自私。我唔知點解面對呢一件事,淨係覺得唔想冇咗呢段關係,好似已經慣咗你喺度、會喺度。我知道唔啱,你應該要平靜地搵一個更啱你嘅人,而唔係畀我干擾。但係……我真係唔慣。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANA5wLSBk0eG6
「你突然咁坦誠嘅,」她笑笑:「到我唔慣添。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAvfrJzxyIsX
內心咆哮着,溫如冬控制表情:那你想怎樣呢?你又不要我等,現在又想我在你身邊?她的胡思卻有種悲壯,終歸是一種感恩。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAxZAubX8Lkk
她不願遠離心上人。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAW9XGO02s38
「妖,我好認真㗎。」
271Please respect copyright.PENANAhVvUBXRneE
「得啦得啦,攬。」她擁了擁他的肩。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAOc6GAhYGau
氣氛變得輕鬆,二人又分享近幾天遇過的趣事,似一切從未發生。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAEIGPrESzVJ
271Please respect copyright.PENANAEmUiCfGXrK
洗澡之後,他們坐在床上玩西洋棋,溫如冬是新手,才剛知道各棋的前進與食棋規則,梁匡生便不斷讓賽,使她不斷回棋。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAluUSijKQEA
這棋局快將完結,她抬頭得戚地看他,因為剛剛吃了他一隻棋。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAt1LYahBFJR
他也剛巧看她,應該說,他覺得她的表情和神態老早比這實力不對等的棋局精彩。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAaES9P01VsM
為什麼呢?世上有那麼多人,她選擇向他展示這一面;世上有那麼少人,他偏不能欺哄自己,對眼前人有非愛不可的衝動?
271Please respect copyright.PENANA83UgiokQqp
二人漸漸靠近對方。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAIj0Yhs25P3
唇是軟稔,氣息是濕潤,手心是激昂,皮膚是滑嫩;髮是飄泊,腳趾頭是掙扎,舌是窒息,腰身是沉沒。
271Please respect copyright.PENANA1Ii5ssW0WQ
那盤棋的皇上、皇后紛紛倒下,沒有勝負之分。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAW4TBL6UCE5
溫如冬抱緊梁匡生,欲言又止,還是沒有問他——我哋之後點?
271Please respect copyright.PENANAZtECwvxBjY
梁匡生輕輕撫摸溫如冬的背,完全無法思考,他又開始不安,這是衝動了嗎?但是,他好像真的需要她。
271Please respect copyright.PENANAh3L9J931K4
此刻,她只想與他深深相擁,與未來毫不關連。
271Please respect copyright.PENANArOEOpsHlTX
此刻,他閉眼,入睡,明晨再算。
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