Well as of now that stops. I am sick of being a doormat and making excuses for them. A best friend of ten years recently decided to treat us like we meant nothing to her, and it hurt that when she got engaged we weren't even told, yet still she continued holding up the charade that we were 'best friends'. And after months of sly digs on social media, after her writing numerous blog posts indirectly insulting us and after her constantly and continually posting things aimed at us but never having the guts to come out and say it, I finally stood up for something. I was told that she was happy to let us drift.
I was willing to fight for this friendship, and all she said was that it was a 'shame'. She said she would do nothing to change and that she would rather let us drift apart than talk and fix things. She cared nothing for how I felt I had been treated by her, offering no apologies and only meagre excuses that simply do not cut it. She wanted to throw our friendship away but still didn't have the balls to say so, even after I asked her repeatedly. I tried. I can say that I tried to fix things between us but she wasn't willing.
Perhaps this should fill me with sadness but oddly, I feel a weight off my shoulders. Not only have I got rid of the feeling in my stomach that was festering and made me feel sick whenever her name was mentioned, I have confronted her and can honestly say that I did everything I could. It is sad that after ten years of being so close it's all over just like that, but I'm no longer being treated like a doormat. Sure, maybe we'll never speak again. But over the past six months we hardly spoke anyway because I refused to start the conversation and she never made the effort, so nothing has really changed. I know where I stand, and I know I mean next to nothing to her.
I feel like I could cry, but it really isn't with sadness. I could cry because my exams are over and all of them went well; I could cry because my dissertation came back with an exceptionally high grade that made all my emotional breakdowns worth it. I could cry because uni is over and as I continue on to a masters degree, most of the people I have met are leaving. I have loved every second, and I couldn't have gotten through uni at all without the group of friends I have. I don't feel like shedding any tears because the girl I used to call my best friend wasn't there to share my success. I don't feel like crying at all over her. I feel like crying happy tears because I finally feel like I can stop allowing people to walk all over me, because I'm succeeding and she doesn't like it. Because uni has made me stronger, taught me the real meaning of hard work and shown me that I can get through it. Anything life throws at me I can work though. She no longer means anything to me, and instead of being sad and looking at it as the loss of years and years of friendship, instead I'm focusing on the level playing field. How we know where we stand and how I can move on knowing that I'm not going to let anybody, friend or not, treat me like I'm second best, like I am their back-up. Like I am unwanted in their life. I refuse to ever allow anybody to make me feel like she has these past months.
ns 172.69.59.155da2
and then Add to home screen.