我鍾意同妳鬥氣，其實只係因為… （連載中） - 一百八十四

一百八十四

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嘩，老母妳玩到咁爆啊？

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「唔好為難…」我句說話最尾果兩隻字「阿儀」都未講完，葉佩儀好似諗都唔駛諗咁就應承咗媽咪︰「冇問題！」

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…

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我真係估妳唔到啊儀姐…

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媽咪呢個時候先轉向我問︰「咁才仔你呢？」

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嘩老母妳咁樣一問，反而係我猶豫起黎︰「咁…好似…」

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「阿必你唔好咁死板喇，我係女仔蝕底比你都冇嘢喇，等Uncle喺過年既時候開心下，唔好咩？」葉佩儀不悅地問。

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過年既時候…妳都講得好婉轉下，其實妳句意思即係指等老豆臨走之前開心下，係咪？

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當我諗到呢度既時候，我對老豆果股孝順既心情湧晒出黎，我都想喺老豆臨走之前做返啲嘢，至少等佢走都走得安安樂樂，於是我突然又變得豪氣干雲，道︰「我有乜問題！蝕底比妳咪蝕底比妳囉！好！朕恩准妳做朕既女朋友！」

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而且…葉佩儀真係做我女朋友，即使只係扮都好，我都好似發夢咁…

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「吖…你真係食懵你啊…我係扮你女朋友囉唔該！仲有啊，係我蝕底比你囉好唔好！」葉佩儀雙眼掘住我，如果唔係老媽子喺度佢應該出咗佢既必殺技如來神掌打落我度，佢續道︰「如果唔係睇在Uncle Auntie份上啊，我先唔會應承！」

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見到葉佩儀似乎實際上係抗拒同我扮情侶，又將我拉返黎現實。係啊，佢係睇在老豆老母（尤其是前者）先會肯扮我女朋友，佢根本就唔鍾意我，甚至係抗拒同我喺埋一齊。

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唉…

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媽咪見到葉佩儀咁講，佢就插口道︰「阿儀啊，呢個都係伯母既不情之請，如果妳唔鍾意既唔駛勉強架…」

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葉佩儀急忙道︰「唔會啊，係我自己想幫手既！」然後又白咗我一眼，道︰「我係唔抵得有人咁得戚啫…」

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「哦，原來係妳自己想扮我既女朋友既，仲搵老媽子黎過橋…」

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我都未講完，葉佩儀就急忙向媽咪告狀︰「Auntie妳睇！佢蝦我！」

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嘩，葉佩儀妳真係當咗呢個係妳親生老母黎喎！可惜嘞，呢個係我親生老母，一定係企喺我果邊！

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「唉，你個衰仔包，阿儀咁好女要幫老母手，你唔好喺度搞搞震！一陣搞到阿儀唔幫我手我就唯你是問！」

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…

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我收返，我親生老母會企喺我果邊…

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先至奇！

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我望過去葉佩儀果度，個衰妹一副勝利者既表情望住我…

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OK…OK…妳哋開心就好…

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不過，我同葉佩儀咁樣一唱一和鬥下嘴搞一搞，啱啱仲係好嚴肅、愁雲慘霧既氣氛即刻好返唔少。都好既，就算老豆既病情點都好，日子總係要過，係咪？

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「而家我哋扮情侶，我係咪要拖住妳隻手架？」我奉母親大人既旨意送葉佩儀返屋企既時候，我一落到樓就扮晒嘢咁問。

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「喂！你咪啊！」葉佩儀好大反應，手掌作一個手刀狀，道︰「嗱！你試下拖吖！手都斬咗你啊！」

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我嘻嘻笑道︰「我講下笑咋嘛！妳咁認真做乜？」旋即又一本正經地道︰「其實妳諗下都知我唔會，呢度係街黎，有咁多人來來往往，如果比人見我拖住個男人婆，真係以為我搞基啊！」

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「你食屎喇！」葉佩儀隻手刀真係一嘢劈落我膊頭度，冇留力，痛到我叫咗出黎。

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其實…葉佩儀係對住我先粗粗魯魯男人婆咁啫，升咗大學之後同Elvis拍拖既佢，比起中學既時候又多咗一份吸引力。

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我話拖佢隻手係講笑？其實啊，我不知幾想真係拖住佢隻手啊…

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我哋打打鬧鬧咗一陣，我突然問佢︰「妳扮我女朋友，妳唔驚妳個Elvis介意咩？」

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葉佩儀答道︰「唓，唔比佢知咪得囉！」

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的確，比起當時同洪偉賢一齊既時候日對夜對，我留意到既係其實今次拍拖，葉佩儀同埋個Elvis都各有自己既空間，至少其實我單獨約葉佩儀出黎既機會都唔少，而據葉佩儀所講Elvis係知道既，但佢又唔介意唔會出聲。

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「估唔到老媽子既要求咁爆。」我又道︰「總之…今次真係麻煩晒妳係喇。」

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葉佩儀微微一笑，但冇答話，搞到我有種錯覺，覺得佢其實都好欣然去接受今次同我假扮情侶既安排。

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最後我送到葉佩儀去到屋企樓下時，葉佩儀自己講出黎︰「其實你唔駛唔該我，我都係想Uncle佢而家可以開開心心。」

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「哦。」

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呢層當然我都知，亦係我預期之中既答案，唔通佢會答係為咗試下同我一齊先應承老母咩。不過…我諗我心底入面其實我都真係希望老母助攻成功，等我抱得美人歸…但係…我梗係知冇可能，而家葉佩儀拍第二次拖喇，如果佢真係鍾意我，就唔會咁輕易接受完呢個又接受果個喇，最重要係我知葉佩儀係個乜嘢人，佢絕對唔係啲輕易接受男人既人，當年洪偉賢用咗成年先可以打動到佢既芳心，所以話，佢接受得Elvis又點係對我有意思？

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當然，而家既我會承認呢個係我成日拎黎為我唔行前一步採取攻勢既一個藉口，但無可否認，呢個同時都係一個事實。

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所以…過咗去既…就由佢喇…

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（待續）

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