I let out a deep sigh, my eyes opening to the darkness swallowing every edge of my bedroom.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalqWwg6GqA
I reached for my phone first, reading over my lock screen that displayed new notifications and the time.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhFE2YMXIN
10:37 am.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfElHpHWRo
Even if I felt embarrassed by last night—embarrassed by her rejection, I still checked my lock screen for her contact.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGD9hYW41sU
Nothing.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGZ3DWVjyw
There was nothing else for her.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquYoK2c2xv
I was less surprised than hopeful.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr1CKjtabX
It seems she's giving me space rather than reaching out again.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYfrCZ6kxk
Something I'm unaccustomed to.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrsjBeZgQT
I let out a deep sigh, dropping my phone on the bed as I stared up at the ceiling.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4EQmhdJGW
I'm never going to therapy again.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7kQHkKSWD
There's just no possible way.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KPxdx5vR4
Not after I tried to kiss her and she rejected me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVW35UAt0l
Normally, I would try again.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnwaxE0Rqg
I wouldn't give up.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxQHQGOEtm
This time is different—my ego is past bruised, and nearly falling the fuck apart.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Z84XmxXSo
Any other woman in Seattle would be easier to chase.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSBNuIbDT5
But I'm realizing Dr. Luccino isn't even meant to be chased.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9fbTQF1Y7
Maybe I should've run in the other direction instead.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhotycAdgXa
Even from the beginning—before she knew I was her patient, she always held the upper hand.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7akhhpakAg
And in it, she held my ego, every single fucking time.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZxsndx9Sj
She drives me insane to the point that I have to force myself to step back.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zQG9iQPHw
To sit this one out for once.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPK3aJ4aZEc
Something I've never decided in my entire life.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDk7I3iPQ2
I'm a winner.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb12NqJaaAa
I know I'm a winner.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz64QgETNtp
But this go-around, I'm okay with forfeiting.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFIttWTZuE
It's better than losing the game itself.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQquU4C1Z8
Or maybe I already lost.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXDSy4KCai
Maybe her rejection was enough to consider a loss—a fuck up on my end.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpohb0j5Cv
I'm not some girl who begs for someone.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VHLgH9lhP
I've never felt this way or done these things.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnbaDZLQbu
I've never even chased after someone like this.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOMMMmNeuc
Normally, people chase me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtI6TzVmhX7
They want me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngxmd2XETL
Why doesn't Dr. Luccino want me?
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BWrHt5hfX
It's not because she's my therapist.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGsYQrJQzq
I see how she looks at me sometimes.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4FLUIyZUf
I see how irritated Dr. Kincaid makes her by simply standing next to me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88NkLR26aw
Not all therapists would get up in the middle of the night and come pick up their patients after a night gone wrong.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDQzkCmc6X
But Dr. Luccino did.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWZTTmX1f9
She initiated a hug too... sort of
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1UgO8Kbwo
I mean, I had to lean in, but she still initiated it all.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTX8l4qHm6
Then it's how she talks to me—I can hear the double meanings, and I know she does too.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnydsK2u8tL
She's calculated.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyS7AKpTyI
Every action she takes, the words she speaks, even the fucking air she breathes—it's all calculated.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiJgy7gqHB
She's not dumb, not even close to it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaABGz58xT
She's analytical.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus5CwTRv8X
So why is she being like this?
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IU8mF462P
Why did she reject me?
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTTVPkM8DD
I quickly shook my head, burying my face under the pillow with a groan.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4tVuhRwmp
I hate her for doing this—for making me feel this way.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDS2vGOX22S
But at the same time, I want to know where her head is at.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMt82JPRV1
Why she's acted the way she has up to this point.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJQq4g7ZOl
It's confusing.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRHs1QnHSz
But I think I'm okay with being confused.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrirvWh7bX
Or maybe... I know I'll have to be.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJC08RT15RN
Dr. Luccino will probably never reveal what her true thoughts consist of.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwom2aaqWWy
I need to just step back before I genuinely go insane.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTmzAWKLke
I let out a deep sigh, laying up from my bed to go brush my teeth.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUyW3KiGUB
I also did my skincare, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt to head over to Zion and Sid's.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSrQSVsic4
I didn't make my bed.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lt2VB5C47
Maybe it was out of spite or maybe I just didn't want to do anything associated with her.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVPddjz06Y
Either way, I pushed through the thoughts of her fogging up my brain—finally finding some sort of balance once I made it to Zion and Sid's.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEim6ufDmM
It made me feel a little better being around them, focusing on other aspects of my life.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMRgWqreEc
Like the great best friends I have.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaVaRlceFw
We cooked breakfast together and ate in front of the TV, watching Zion's favorite show at the moment, Bob's Burgers.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4GR5ribBw
It was a nice morning, and Zion and Sid even agreed to go to the gym with me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09Z8PSkZ9U
That alone filled up my day, especially since we grabbed a smoothie after.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxqsNlEnLS
Then we walked downtown for a couple of hours, shopping and browsing the different stores.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRCgx4QVdQ
We agreed to have dinner tonight, especially since it was Saturday night and I was staying inside.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViPzjZD6Pc
Zion and Sid were making such a big effort to be here for me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9BUqxDasL
Even if I kind of wanted to give this whole not drinking thing up.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5BwUUvjsa
But I owed it to myself.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yHvqqBJSj
And I don't know... I just don't think I even need it anymore.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rqS3vLnlu
It's weird.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Gj4eYD4eL
Like I still have the urge.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2v4fi0hyE
I want to drink and go out.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3nAmSjLpM
But I also have this louder thought, a deeper feeling, where I'm completely aware that I don't need that to feel better.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mKGpBw0Bx
Zion and Sid really help me feel better without realizing it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuO8VvzyJkp
I think I just don't want to be alone, like entirely isolated, and their presence really helps soothe me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgpDKJQVrZ
I even ended up staying the night at their place on Saturday, sleeping on their comfortable couch.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMLviKwhxH
We didn't end up making breakfast in the morning, instead, opting for Cookie Crisp cereal.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZbKM5jbUY
Then Zion and Sid set up to work on schoolwork and study for the next couple of hours.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroK5mLo14J
While I could study, I'm also really ahead on all of my assignments—thanks to all my free time last week.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQXV5Rwnt3
So I decided to give it a rest, heading back to my apartment so I could climb into my unmade bed.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAEPMN8RXO
But I was quickly halted by the bright sticky note on my front door, my brows immediately furrowing as I read it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2HkJkVsCL
This was left for you.
-Front Desk Management
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQtbTb3IXk
My confusion grew, glancing away from the note, and immediately noticing the bouquet by my feet.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaSjXhSuiW
My heart physically stalled in my chest, bending down to fully analyze the bouquet.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DvfCpJL3s
It wasn't made of flowers.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqk6QJdtcW
But lollipops instead?
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22KzkgP9md
It was wrapped neatly in a blush pink paper, tied together by a silky white ribbon at the base.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvWpQUGCHB
I reached for the card immediately, even if I already knew who it was from.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGyER3Li1c
I just needed to see it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JknhgH2wB
I flipped the card over, my eyes trailing over it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSE8TsUmoD
"— Dr. Luccino"
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3qfxAtHjT
That's it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSKXY8V6bz
That's all it said.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYlIOmOhdg
Are you fucking kidding me?
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndko8H2l6a
First, she rejects my kiss and now she's sending me a bouquet?
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOwpPAts01
A very well-thought-out one, might I add.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzerx60uHS
She knows what she's doing.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4z5sNpflU
She fucking has to.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdyh8vlt0j
It's why there's no note and she purposely used her formal name, rather than including her first and last name.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvufiZrrF0y
It's still clinical with her.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdAfXCe3lT
She's basically establishing that she's still my therapist—who sends me fucking bouquets.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrxpREXrAs
I shook my head to myself, determining that I'm officially over her confusing signals.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfcx66UiTJ
Fuck skipping therapy, maybe I will show up for my session.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0g4P0qUxm
Maybe, I'll return this bouquet right back to her, and tell her just how confusing this is.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFdODBBqPP
That she can't send me a bouquet after rejecting me two days prior.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzI6NG3UqG
Yeah.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5KfKAKiyg
That's what I'll do.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sphi1irYU
And then I won't stay.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5AGMFyqtV
I'll ask for a referral and leave.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAentMJPrM
For good.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LMdyMagM9
I picked up the bouquet, peeling the sticky note off my door as I came to my conclusion.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjhcWMSNSC
Naturally, I began planning the argument in my head, making sure I had every detail planned out for what I would say.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDPbsauOHk
I didn't want to skip something and then later on think of it and wish I had said it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nmtQKc7lu
I thought about it all night, tossing and turning as I tried my best to get a decent amount of sleep.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxz63RrFVye
The next day, I anticipated the evening more—my mind still on what I would say.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy31yBXmTTp
Or what she would say back.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxq7O0cnScW
I was on edge all fucking day.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDpnPkfhKL
Even during class when I desperately tried to focus.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhGh0Jjbrd
Luckily, I was tired enough from my lack of sleep the night prior, that I fell asleep right after class, taking a short nap before therapy.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvLKq5fM2j
Then around three o'clock, I began getting ready, determined to look my best when I storm into her office and throw this bouquet at her.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhmSzzSxCA
I pulled on low-rise True Religion jeans and a crop top that emphasized my toned stomach.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ023thfdN
I did a blowout on my hair so it was in effortless waves, spraying hair perfume over my strands and putting on a light amount of makeup.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7pjMEjzMU
I made sure my lip combo looked perfect, walking out of my bathroom to slide on a pair of chunky sneakers and spray myself with perfume.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5khEpQGKd
Then I exited my room, grabbing my keys and the bouquet as I left my apartment.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HgEapj12l
I was fifteen minutes late.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOM9ZzKrcsO
I didn't care.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuF4fmsQzO
I took my time walking to my car—I didn't even mind the traffic, stopping when the light turned yellow rather than speeding up.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZECQx5UQ3
By the time, I got parked and made my way through the modern lobby, I was already thirty minutes late.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8vSGDXMgf
It made a smile grow prominently on my lips, watching the floors rise as I stood in the quiet elevator with a few other people.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0dKQllW2R
Soon enough, it dinged on my level, allowing me to step off with the bouquet in my hands.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7eWtmX02k
"Sienna" I said, for once choosing to ignore how much she had previously irritated me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpL0O2jcYhd
She can fucking have Dr. Luccino.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZWO2UmRlU
Or should I say chase her?
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNtq8F5dIR
"I'm here for my appointment," I said as I approached her with a smile.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwss4Mfnpj
"Oh of course," Sienna smiled, glancing down to her computer, "You're a little late so your session might be cut sho—"
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsa6jiFPxa
"Got it, thanks girl" I quickly cut her short, turning around before she could say anything else and walking toward the familiar hallway.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYi4erBAe8c
That's when the nerves hit me, especially as I passed the different doors, noticing hers was left open.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzD68BLY0V
I got this.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fQ12b8QlE
I'm going to say what I want and she'll have to listen.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t2nR97siy
I drew in a deep breath, approaching the open door, and walking right through.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0ifbw4rDs
I didn't even bother closing it, wanting to cause somewhat of a scene.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhyOnSQ3Hk
Dr. Luccino was seated at her desk, her dark hair cascading down to her waist and her bangs framing her face perfectly.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Hvj0pYcLm
Her focus was on her laptop—until she immediately glanced up, noticing my presence.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5AlXDxZjY
"River" she said, smoothly standing from her office chair.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2EXjy0Isj
My eyes dipped down, noticing the blush pink blouse she wore with black dress pants and shiny stilettos— her stare no longer on me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wrsxzHdif
And rather the bouquet in my hand.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhzYsiZfKc
"Seriously?"
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENmDsnuxQM
It was the first thing I could think to say as I walked over to her, holding the bouquet up even if she already noticed it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYU4kEGpou
"You're so confusing. On Friday, you rej-"
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRCBNzQrPf
I was cut off when she took a calm step toward me, pressing her hand to my mouth in one fluid motion before I could finish.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nIprWOcQ4
I froze at the contact, the warmth of her hand pressed against my lips, her eyes holding mine.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuJ0Tr7r34
It made shivers run down my spine.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmL03ZiE1O
But I had to push it away.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKme6R3Ufp
I pushed her away too, pressing my hands against her stomach.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDjyenq4aq
Somehow touching her only made the feeling inside of me grow worse.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pBY5sflHt
She didn't budge at my actions.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhkVQPSuct
Instead, she motioned her head to the door—the one I purposely left open.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4aiRZ9Mxn
I pushed at her stomach again, leaning back from her hand and causing her to take a respectful step back.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O4kHN46CL
Then she walked over to the door.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP314qZX49
I hated to admit it, but I watched her.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5S2rifpcL
I watched every inch of her figure as she walked to that door.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3I7Nvtn3m
How her blouse outlined the curve of her waist or her dress pants that emphasized her long legs.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7L6Eg8sUU
I had to force myself back into reality, especially once she shut the door.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB63ZOfH4b
"I don't know why you're doing that" I mumbled, harshly throwing the bouquet on her desk, "I'm not staying."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLijqYTkM9l
Dr. Luccino calmly slid her hands into her pant pockets, "I understand, River" she said, walking back toward me, "But I would appreciate discussing this before you leave my office."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47UfD5jgEv
I shrugged, "There's nothing to discuss. You're confusing—and you know you're confusing," I said, taking a few steps toward her, "You know what you're doing, every word, every action."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9EdatzeJc
"I care about you, River" Dr. Luccino calmly stated, her words irritatingly sending warmth through my body, "Nothing that happened on Friday changes that."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiWhUxbLBq
I shook my head, my brows furrowing, "But what does that mean? What do you even want?" I asked, my face burning up.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjs1IMO8Uq4
"It means, that the bouquet was sent to establish that, River" Dr. Luccino explained, still not giving me anything to go off of, "That I care about you as my patient, and that's why I needed to keep my role clear on Friday."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3xk5GIAeN
"I still don't understand—you still make zero sense," I said, hating that she was trying to choose her words carefully with me right now, "You're the one who rejected me."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ5snIB6e8
"It wasn't rejection," Dr. Luccino quickly countered my statement, her brown eyes holding mine, "It was me setting boundaries between us, River"
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBjZ88i48F
I furrowed my brows, blinking a few times, "So you do want me?" I asked in confusion.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYSu7sDa7a
Dr. Luccino remained silent for a moment, her eyes tracing every inch of my face.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnNSJZyz5u
My heart pounded in my ears, anticipating what she might say next.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAJGkgdN9I
I don't even know why I'm listening.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB0VASicHU
Why am I willing to hear her out?
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2XtQyg2RN
It wasn't supposed to go this way.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCf1K2eWSY
"I'm your therapist, River." Dr. Luccino sighed, her voice so soft and genuine with me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy4NTzqWdH
But it wasn't what I wanted to hear.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMcfWqzjMf
"Then why do all this—why are you weird about Dr. Kincaid being around me... why do you say certain things that hold a double meaning? I see the way you look at me," I breathed out, my rant weak and unsteady.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPoWh4e0ld
Tears of frustration burned in my eyes, threatening to spill.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5v8FaqNWj
And then, just like that, one tear broke the dam.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnv1rJwFKc
Fuck.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLW7JnFNz8V
"Or maybe I'm just delusional—maybe I misread this" I whispered in frustration, messily wiping under my eyes.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBhLldh0rf
I wasn't even upset—I just felt so frustrated and confused that all I could do was cry.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7izYwotHuy
It wasn't about getting my way for once.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmKUL8wVPD
It was about getting her to be present in a different way.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuogRGaQdWv
Even if it's just sex, or merely physical between us.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRer0IqYsz
I don't do relationships anyway so I would honestly prefer that.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE8d9Wf4ma
It would work for me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ExgnNoxh8
"You're not delusional, River." Dr. Luccino said, her brown eyes trailing my face before she let out a measured sigh.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29hyJHUpo4
I watched as she glanced away from me for a moment, almost appearing conflicting.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRs9k8Ca2AQ
A tense silence hung between us, making me feel even more embarrassed for crying right now.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLN1xRkrxhD
Then her gaze met mine again, taking a step closer.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8M4ReFmScG
Her arms wrapped around me before I could process it, her hands stiff at my upper back—like she was still deciding if she should be doing this.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw679zm89a
Everything about her screamed hesitation, like she was carefully choosing how to react.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIr7mQCY1M8
And then, finally, her arms tightened around me, pulling me in completely.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FTnzv1Wsl
This time I did hug her back, wrapping my arms around her waist and pressing my cheek against her chest.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x603HFV5S
"I thought you wanted me" I forced out, my voice lowered and inaudible, "I thought... I thought you were playing the game with me too."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7jMUk6Zi1
Dr. Luccino remained silent, causing my arms to tighten around her.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpDzatIc4T
I wondered what she was thinking.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PfLAqUuSC
Where her head was at.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQrlmfpcL9
Then I felt it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXCcaiWnYA
The softest touch of her fingers in my hair, gently caressing the back of my head as my cheek remained pressed to her chest.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvm63RAP9t0
I could feel her hesitation, how stiff she was against me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdh8UPwzg4
Until she exhaled, letting herself relax.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zSHAcof0K
Her fingers continued their gentle motion, soothing me in a way that made my body relax into hers.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAv1ojYSDR
"I've already told you I don't engage in this kind of game, River." Dr. Luccino calmly spoke, "Let's forget that idea. We're done with that."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAufW3UsVXT
"Then what do we do?" I forced out in a whisper, inhaling her familiar sweet scent mixed with the cologne she always wore.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyXLcqIqfW
"I continue helping you. I continue to be here for you" Dr. Luccino said, causing me to immediately shake my head.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2jdcl0iRs
Her words made something sink inside of me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXn3S7kLfCC
"No-no, I..." I trailed off, squeezing my eyes shut in frustration.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwr5t3UQU1k
I pulled away from her before I could realize it, breaking away from her warmth as I put distance between us.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKuSj0Imiz
"I don't want you to be my therapist anymore" I said, forcing the words out before I could second-guess them, "I want a referral."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcDr8ICpZk
Dr. Luccino's brow lifted slightly.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYKQYoeXMt
But she didn't speak.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJ5zyc1MBO
A long tense moment settled around us.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1dMnXBSPT
Then her lips parted—like she wanted to say something.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqusOUVsky
Like she was battling herself on what that something would be.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlqK0zpJ7J
Then she softly cleared her throat, nodding almost forcefully at my previous words.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhSJjZuUfT
"If that's what you need, River. I'll arrange it," she said, immediately making a scoff fall from my lips.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyLZe9FY2v
It felt like I had her.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbsM0W6Xbj
Like she let me in for a brief moment.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajpCPLc1FK
And now she's gone again.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8P28x80FaN
Back to being a therapist.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BxnHbqyv9
Just not mine.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUAOwlNbBz
"Okay" I mumbled coldly, walking past her before she could say anything else.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkIGwWODha
For once, her brows were subtly furrowed as I walked past her, looking slightly confused.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gwvkbwSNo
She had given me exactly what I just asked for, and still, she failed.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CqHsB5kSi
I didn't care anymore.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6ZVpB2s6n
I walked out, rushing down the hallway and past the lobby toward the elevators.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjToTep99w
I didn't look over at Sienna or Reagan one time, even as they told me to have a good evening.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDg5BRkVOXo
I just waited for the elevator to ding open, stepping on and pressing the lobby.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOtv4BAZhC
Frustrated tears blurred my vision as I watched the floors decrease on the digital screen.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8CEKoWQNB
As soon as I made it to the lobby, I reached for my phone and quickly unlocked it.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZGvCF0w8F
I scrolled far down my call log, past Zion and Sid's contacts that had been recently dialed.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXNJgC9OkX
Even past Dr. Luccino's missed call from Friday night that made me feel fucking worse.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2GAbkl1Y8
I clicked her name on the screen instead, pressing the phone to my ear as I sniffled a few times.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKiM7qi8gP
She answered on the first ring.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRWhZJgzOL
Her voice flooding into my ear.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRAVAugSb3
"Rivvy?" Kai said, a concern etched into her voice.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0soR199QYw
I kept my head down as I walked through the lobby, more tears burning so heavily in my eyes.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJhZH7cELJ
"Hey, Kai" I whispered to the best of my abilities.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxswq8uxcrv
"What's going on? Is everything good?" she asked me, clearly caught off guard by the sudden phone call.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO9Yell1Gp
Even I was too.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDT0lGFDtF
"Yeah-yes, I was just wondering if you wanted to have dinner right now? Maybe talk about everything?" I asked her, hoping to god that she doesn't reject me too.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEJhpGcQSm
"Um..." I heard her trail of in thought, making my chest tighten, "Of course, yeah, tell me where and I'll meet you."
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v8yfYmGkd
I glanced around as I exited the building, searching for a restaurant nearby.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNgwFHeQwh
Alto's.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr4IiPKXH4
It was illuminated by a soft pink fluorescent lighting, shining bright under the dull grey rain clouds above.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0UGoygqcS
"Let's do Alto's," I suddenly said.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJM9j0f9wIg
"Okay, I need like an hour to get ready and make it there," Kai told me, and I could hear shuffling on her end.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWqbE1oh98
I pursed my lips, "Oh well, I'm already nearby-"
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjz0XfATBo
"Just go home. I'll pick you up and drive us," Kai quickly offered.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBIGELOwFl
I raised a brow at her words, "That's new" I said, wiping some of my tears away.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsNuBBGO4v
"I don't always have to be passenger princess" she joked with me, making me laugh slightly.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOY8dpp9jje
"Okay, Kai, I'll see you in a few," I told her, feeling somewhat relieved by her familiar presence, even if it was over the phone.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkCuVOiSZh
"I'll text you when I'm on the way," Kai said, earning a nod from me.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidPmP6v8W5
"Perfect, love..." I trailed off, realizing what I was about to say out of instinct.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DayIP40An
It made my walking halt, feeling so embarrassed by the slip-up.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleqGt4tnIG
"Love you too, Rivvy" Kai suddenly said, making it just a little easier to breathe.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqFHJzpu56
"Talk soon" I whispered, earning a hum from her before we hung up-which left me to process what I had just done.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWAXKQCpI2
But this could be good.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hj45GsdsT
Maybe Kai and I can make progress after a decent talk.
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ92x7Dk99P
I do really miss her.
ns216.73.216.224da2
然後按「加至主畫面」