天亮，上班。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ptw0F8ctc
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGlNdLsoMy
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuVHdoPnfW
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZROvJ3PF7
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6F8GOa3oA
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYz5PaZmUSG
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvqM2Sg2LI
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEQU9ONRPM
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86hIlXkUBP
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUWu45byG1
看不見，罷。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEd2M3a88tD
天黑，下班。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlm3iA6OdZH
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBZZKNFdWa
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30Mv8wM4NO
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpKs7cSusg
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyi61dSse3
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHogP594fjv
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ42EwsFs1V
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MhIvwoOQd
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfnQ7uOmqT
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvUaLGgUo8
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw81e4fRygO
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtFzryvnes
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCehYa0ohlG
公司，午飯時間。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KaIxq1iNz
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyyMRk6nVc
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuIG1fJvfa
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsG3gpxvz8N
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMseAxcclEV
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgNJUROfF5
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaofdKqZuB9
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLEIO4XYi1
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGu0qY5AtO
還是……276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97MyNJcNeL
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgS9upt2uG
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdMP8eeCJL
公司，工作。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3QIms70qv
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tCTnx6YCC
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCDi6coR3N
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHE6nSrgV6v
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqDrBzn4PV
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopeuoFoPz8
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDt5zArceFT
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiUfGdY6rf
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJrn3A1JzY
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ujXoKhyFp
快意，笑了。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6UeumrjGR
酒吧，喝酒。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3vOGKlo2b
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeSdRiXGIA
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3k2j6u6fBA
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6tcx3FoZf
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuniXEkJch
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPmUDxmhgF
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmnF7pkOMA
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiUHmGpBOe
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WQ8kkfgek
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsmyMsCOwy
醉倒。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryPNZdBVpt
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHI7LUaT4W2
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjuIoEftyi
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBCIFKa1LV
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9ErMgu2di
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHN0BrgYwPg
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xNG6DFsLW
假期，醫院。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTF0MNe71je
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmDfpNfGad
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUhAPeJLhb
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16Aerg0nWv
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8GpO3tucB
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr4bqy01ll
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjsbIbvJBy
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp51QVxAhyH
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1xh01IyEm
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCAhkblR9G
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgI3mmKjsHh
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAZISjJyER
死寂。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRGn4n6qdS
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuitTYd5WfI
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTm10DGxHX
回家，晚飯。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuqi15njFq
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVkyKq6l63
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pSKmExQyz
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VXXuZfhaU
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOM5OYRzyUc
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtwrdkYJvM
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolsiPgGZ93
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUlm8CoTOK
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCM6uIYdvrt
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lnYZwgmsC
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UFi5ZwlcZ
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEW4nFc6xR
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaRJkPi3IK
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3ZjNFjVIq
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8wQLCvKy0
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSuH2WAqdc
男友家，床上。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4PZGusH84
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7BWOEaLfN
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UPLcWyKTY
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICHbdfM4rh
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBB8E6Cx9o
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iqYnI92ab
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUkd5HPrRZ
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpnzIOSxk4
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyXVYYr4vY
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS62dRogjUw
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOtq8VXnlB
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRr8ciHPgg
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsVzEiOslk
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKWtKNbBGY
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBxLcypkOX
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwAJK6XVXE
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ps1otWCBw
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPngoqqx1ul
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbBQetWZAz
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczUBA3YavV
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7eqMY9vJk
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLg3Cdma6x
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeYG9waCrk
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3RYwIzQGm
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE51MN5klRU
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeX9uX1G8In
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvHyryBcPg
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPEAZL9Zkj
「在你體內。」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOapnubE1Fy
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GyXsy5a4L
「甚麼？」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4OXS6aDjI
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXKVrU17Nj
「蟻。」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90qSsXjWHs
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzyuNTQxee
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa5DhqJpSN
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYAeeM30MI
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVed7ojJZl6
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNYev4FItJ
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1KUsQSFB1
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0aFQ0NE7Q
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mojXC6YIn
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzynBiDxPET
「誰？」另一聲音反問。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOBh6FWVru
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoa5vEvggE
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfNMxKzZyg
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZsyierdLc
靜。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxJmkI6XxD
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCHPX6Rs1O
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AgEWoN2v7
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RQCjxqlaL
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPUMgpNOwF
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH3vJnWxGS
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJF3G8dZaYU
我：「我有精神病？」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4tGAOPXHE
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rqN4zMN1d
醫：「是情緒病。」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzw9i94nq8l
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsE5fynDzl
我：「怎麼辦？」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNABo1UQhUK
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mfm6I9rUN
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwnnNYaktQ
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSYgngBtdL
我：「謝謝醫生。」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1uDdGx6Gh
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGnakOHKLP
醫：「不用謝。」276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEKVONT5eK
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68lWUqGRmN
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQdP3AAyG9
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBvtKDc13S
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6sm2zHRqU
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpzKiodDJe
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUL5VwXi0Ym
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqx7ZijYbBH
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLaaA6ybE7
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqco1gKguOD
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGpqEjzTxC
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjKjPIfmAY
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIsITvYVNs
……276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb5ZFvoqxA
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HZLq7oqyq
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWcSDB7Qw4
276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxLq2xXsGO
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。276Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GxGEMSnez
然後按「加至主畫面」