《狂亂文字》號四真永李 2022-04 - 四嚎．永憎你

「我憎恨你！永遠憎恨你！」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjU2Q2XXirL
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLfESgW05K
衣衫單薄的阿妹無視冷雨紛飛，跑出遮雨簷篷，衝過警方封鎖線，直撲上前搥打我胸膛，拳拳復拳拳，拳拳到肉，拳拳入心。我沒有還手——不打算反抗，而且雙手被手拷反扣在後——默默垂眼看著她雙手沾染我衫上血跡。這時何等奇妙的感覺：父母的血在我和她體內，亦在她手上、我衫上。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVD9rQOJJ6
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMT79LwT9D
附近幾位警員沒有立即阻止阿妹，待她發洩將近十秒、有記者正要舉機拍攝時才拉開她。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd69PT1shmI
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FxTaDbIS0
登上警車，我輕問身旁警員：「你們是故意的吧？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mSKodr16g
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpHdd6vpKT
警員目不斜視，對著空氣道：「你殺死父母，是故意的吧？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRnrMCxp8i

操場上，烈日刺眼，人影紛亂，或逃跑或追趕。兩幫囚犯因私怨扭打起來，其餘局外囚犯連忙依獄警指示離開現場。我混在逃走行列當中，驀地發現走在前方的人正是與我關係不錯的獄友——阿青。靈機一觸，想到一個減刑方法。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj1cwlYtwx
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2aPRQdnUz
「他有參與打鬥！」臨近操場出入口，我突然指著阿青呼叫。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe2LxSCycM
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1v04bq2w4X
阿青尚未意會我所指何事，已然被獄警壓制在地。他面帶怯色，嘗試辯解：「冤枉啊！我沒有……」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrXuwajYeX
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojDFfV0bxz
「我真的看見阿青參與打鬥！」雖知阿青無辜，但為了建功減刑，我唯有狠下心腸補上一刀：「我平日與阿青關係不錯，沒有冤枉他的理由。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcZUAILqCX
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwynQijmICJ
阿青抬頭望我，似乎明白這是甚麼一回事，瞬間臉容扭曲，極力試圖掙脫獄警。更多獄警上前制伏激動不已的阿青，甚至對他施用棍擊。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRn1RccUjt
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJIg805lvf
亂棍之下，頭破血流的阿青咬牙切齒，勉力抬頭怒目瞪著我：「你這忘恩負義的傢伙！枉我在獄中處處維護你，代你吃下不少苦頭！走著瞧！我定會算帳！我不會放過你！我永遠憎恨你！」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DPlliBBGn

狹小房間內，淫穢之聲迴繞不散。在我胯下的年輕小女生或嬌喘或呻吟，胸前兩團白肉隨著抽插節奏晃晃盪盪。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOOmV5UTLF
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2oI9U08cJ
咔——396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zi4M5OBRy
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCMcIzrLyZ
小女生被房外聲響嚇驚，表情僵住：「客廳有人。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnlCUZzCkg
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq25oOiRWS2
「是我妻子。」我處變不驚，繼續重覆腰肢動作。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUOicvRvQX
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80EtZ05CCM
「你不怕……」小女生奇怪我的冷靜。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3Rv5rAYes
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFa3C1lStem
「孕婦，跑不遠、跑不快，怕甚麼？」我伸手微微施力掐住小女生細長白頸，暗示不滿她話太多。也許不安導致情緒緊張，沒多久我倆雙雙高潮完事。小女生沒有洗澡，匆匆收錢離開。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZQkKutubd
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXLWYGcEKs
我叼菸走向梳化，在芝芝身旁坐下，安慰道：「放心。金錢交易。不是長期關係。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3qfbnqq0b
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAyDNYHjJn
挺著巨肚的芝芝低頭不語，臉色玄青。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB8hqKuRYi
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinxD3UfSjH
「沒法子。生理需要。總不能憋住十個月。」我口說得輕鬆，心裡細細數算芝芝跟我多少個年頭。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aPlIl3Ijb
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0QlMCAgvH
至少三十年。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfSNDlrPT7
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIXpY4YT8k
我們相識於中學三年級，彼此都是十五歲。我當時是小混混，她是不良少女，一拍即合。後來我殺人判囚，幸得減刑出獄。沒能回家。苦惱之際，誰料芝芝主動聯絡，供吃供住，只求與我再續前緣。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF30QsH2ok
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVO8HYk9mhP
「我曾為你的付出感動過。奈何純粹的感動無法改變我本性——我天生就是壞人。」我向芝芝坦白感受，不是出於內疚或推卸責任，而是我沒有隱瞞的原因。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkU78qVaqz
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqEzjaYK4Z
「你曾愛我嗎？」芝芝眼眶通紅，忍淚問了一個傻問題。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLiky9HMuU
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpgb0UrCrc
「我不知道那是否愛。」我對芝芝沒有愛，但在她身上我感受到何謂愛。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡce2tk40KZi
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmTD0uWe5M
「你走吧。我和孩子不需要你。」芝芝終於按捺不住，流下兩行清淚，語帶哭腔：「這刻開始，我會開始憎恨你，永遠憎恨你。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUs3Ma3ROVj
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5go1T2Kqj
「你早該對我死心。」我聳肩表示沒所謂，直接走出大門，離開單位。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiO3ZaVREZz

七十歲的我獨居劏房，不良於行，少有外出，平日依靠社工幫忙購置日用品。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAMk0POSpd
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4U5sY0KEu
社工是個初出茅廬的年輕人，不知人世險惡，對我毫無戒心。我撒謊說自己被兒女拋棄，她就拿著我提供的假資料尋人。尋人不果就來關心我更多，買來更多物資。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0qpkpZ0bD
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdJUDVlq6I
相識之初，我經常在心裡嘲笑她笨蛋。不過隨著相處時間增多，我多次目睹她為我無私付出，不禁開始動容，深切自省。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOF4WBoJ9H
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0pSZ8q41B
夜深人靜，流浪狗吠聲忽遠忽近，對面大廈招牌的刺眼強光穿透薄窗簾，在牆上映出花花綠綠迷幻色塊。無眠，憶起很多人，很多我虧欠過的人。爸媽……阿妹……阿青……芝芝……孩子……其實我一直以來知道自己有多壞、多可惡。為何明知故犯？因為我不相信永遠。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpo2B4q9RBv
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIqmgILDO1
沒有永遠的惡，沒有永遠的愛。只有眼前利益和當刻快感。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUS4BkiiDq
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡond09YvtQw
我自私？誰不自私？爸媽養兒防老，阿妹需要爸媽供書教學，阿青幫我是貪慕虛榮，芝芝救我是為彌補遺憾。誰沒計算？人人都在計算！396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90xozIAtJl
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd9NgDCrgw
感動退散，惡意再生。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfzSznXGLb
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoO8TmHTv7
缺失很多，要求更多。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzfVVY0tWN
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9RM66sMSW
缺失愛，索求愛。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiukrE8B4S
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSdqxb8Qqj
變本加厲。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6A7oTraYn
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcWpDzVzTu
理所當然。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sWgVd4Ze4
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxi2Xplgptl
社工說疫情險峻，求助人數激增，難以經常前來探望我。我埋怨她不關心我。她解釋說機構人手資源有限，無法重點照顧我一人。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7AsVxaj4I
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6P1HCiVGU
她離開。我撒野：「你偽善！快走！別來！我憎恨你！永遠！」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6BQSh5guH
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAYiHuLYjO
沒有永遠的愛。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChtOq2OKn7
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghn4ZRMlXD
缺失愛，索求愛。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuEFQ1bRRA
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaioYlLPFI
鳳姐索價三百元。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZbDrJsgtQ
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqyYWqTwSE
她有眼前利益，我有當刻快感。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3eEZRmM6p
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xmpUcC48r
完事。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWy4of7vex
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa94KqG8vDG
一切歸空。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXpf6XygHP
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvs1sZ4Ohm
理所當然。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yo1cnE3mx