Everything's gonna be alright
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Tuesday 13th, September 2010
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03:15 PM
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This afternoon the sun was glowing. No cloud in sight in the sky. A tall, middle-aged woman was standing, facing a large window with a view of the backyard. The wind was making her long ginger hair dance around her slender form. She was observing her teen boy playing outside with the neighbor. In her hand, laid Samuel's journal. She knew it was wrong, but he was so distant, she assumed that maybe she'll find her answers in it. What she discovered surprised her so much. She read it from the beginning to the end. Her baby was in love with the new tenant's child. A single tear rolled on her cheek and crashed into the red leather notebook. Her teenager feels love towards another man. He wrote, he feared how his fathers will have reacted if one day they learned about it. It wasn't a secret anymore, and he didn't know that.
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She picked the receiver and dialed up a familiar number. "Hello" with a professional voice, said her spouse. "We need to talk. It's your son, Ben." she stated while sniffing with a palm over her mouth to stop herself from sobbing. Silence. With a sigh, he added; he will talk to her later and without waiting, he hung up the phone.
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Her foot clapped on the hard wooden floor. Wandered towards the dinner table and sat on a chair. She snatched her computer; typed in the search bar: What to do when your teenage boy prefers a guy over a girl? She found a forum where parents had the same problem. They discovered something that could set their children on the path her family had intended. This is the answer she was looking for: conversion therapy. For an hour, she hoped for a place that practiced this cure. EURËKA! A priest was handling this program; They evaluated the site 5 stars; only positive reviews.
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Samuel shuffled inside the apartment and asked, "What are you doing here, mom heh?" startled by his voice, she slipped her pen. "N-Nothing! Just working. And you, sweetheart?" she questioned back, embarrassed, placing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Water." He said, holding up his glass to fill it under the sink.
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Walking closer to his mother, he peeked at her laptop, raised a bushy eyebrow while bringing his cup to his lips. He asked, intrigued," What is this?" his finger pointing at the screen."That's my work! It's interesting. I guess I could show it to you when it'll be done. What do you think?"He shrugged."Now, let me finish and go play. I'll start cooking soon. You still have time, Bunbun.", "I hate that name. It's dumb." "I love you, kiddo" murmured his parent."Yeah" sighed her son. Without adding another word, he ran to the backyard door, his red curls bouncing on top of his head.
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***
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The same night, Samuel was playing video games in his room. The doorbell was ringing. Someone was at the door; it could've been only one person, the one he fears the most: his father. He heard some rumble and shouting from downstairs; he retired his headset to understand what was happening. His parents were arguing again. He was used to it. They were always bickering. It's been like this every day, since he was 5, the same subject repeatedly. It was always because of him. Tonight was worse than before. It was louder. He could almost hear what they were saying. "-I won't accept this shit inside my family, Mary! Have you lost your mind?" "Sammy is both our son, Benedict! He's just -" " For fuck's sake! Different! You've got to be - How different is he? Tell me! You have read those- your son is a fucking-" "Do not ever use this word to describe him! We can fix it." " 'Fix it '? Do you not hear yourself-! I'm way too tired for this-" "We at least can try, I've found-" He has heard enough of it. He turned up the volume and kept playing.
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Thirty minutes later, the house was as calm as a cemetery and this meant that everything will go south when he'll go down. Samuel saw his room door opening and someone peeking their head through the hole. It was his mom telling him that the diner was ready and he should head downstairs before his plate become cold. He wasn't hungry at all; he was more scared of what will happen next around the dinner table.He said to her that he'll come soon .
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Around the table , the atmosphere was excruciatingly cold .No sound coming from their mouth, only the cling of the silverware on plates .Samuel had a hard time breathing , the air was so thick that even a chainsaw could not cut it through.He lift his head up from his plate and turn his hazel eyes toward the red diary beside his dad's plate .His eyes widened,his heart started beating so fast he thought he would die within a minute.Samuel's body stiffened when he look up to his father staring at with daggers eyes; if look could kill, he was sure he would be dead.His mother started to worry , her brows furrowed and she asked him if he was okay because he wasn't eating .He didn't had to say a word when suddendly his father started to speak."He is fine but I don't think that you have to worry about this, there's worse than this"the man with greying hair scowled ,his face was freeze on a hard emotion, his nostrils were flairing.He was mad. He asked angrily his son if he had something to tell them .Samuel stammered.His son's face was grew paler and paler .In reponse , he banged his fist on the table which made the things on it move.Samuel's body was shaking , a cold shock traveled down his spine , sweat was making his hair clinging on his forehead.He gave a 'help me ' look to his mother who just lowered her head in shame.He muttered a small please before being cut off by his father 's ranting.He shouted that it was a shame that someone in his family was so sick, that he would never accept this in his house.He even advised his only son to start packing his things because he would be leaving this house the next day at dawn.It was too much for him, his burning eyes prevented the tears from flowing.He didn't want to cry in front of the monster who was kicking him out of his own house.He stood up and faced his father, looking him straight in the eye, only an inch between them.
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He headed for the stairs, up only one and turned his head to look at his mother,clicked his tongue, then ran to his personal space and slammed the door.His trembling body slid down the wall to his knees. He cried his heart out, something inside him shattered into a thousand pieces.He walked over to his bed, clung to the blanket before falling asleep surrounded by a pool of tears.The ashamed mother entered the room and knelt before her sleeping son.She touched his face, and rubbed a thumb over the wet cheek; she began to sing a silent lullaby:"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey.You'll never know dear, how much I love you.Please don't take my sunshine away" .Puckered a little kiss on his foreheard before disapearing.
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It was already dawn, the birds were chirping as if it were a joyous day.As Samuel woke up with a frown, he remembered what his father had said to him: "pack your things, tomorrow you won't be part of this family anymore". He started packing his furniture, his bass, his console, his favourite vinyl records, his sketchbook and other things to pass the time. All of this connecting him to his past in a red duffel bag. When he looked up, he saw all his paintings, he took some of them. Then he saw family photos, one with him and his mother when he was 4 years old, one with his parents, they were all wearing fancy clothes, it was for his father's raise party, he smiled as he remembered that he first fell in love with his father's boss's son.When he came downstairs he was greeted by a sharp look from his father, he then sat down and had breakfast before putting on his coat and boots. His parents started to fill the car with his belongings and then started the engine before driving.
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They had been driving for about two hours when Mary decided to put on some music. She pushed a button on the aux and her favourite band started playing. Benedict was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He started clicking his tongue and told his wife to turn the music down a bit so he could focus on the road. She just rolled her eyes and did as he said. Dancing Queen played and she mumbled the words, she occasionally glanced at his son to see if he was singing or smiling but he wasn't. A moment passed, the radio had started lagging that it annoyed the man. He clapped his hand on the radio but it only played one song on a loop, which made Samuel smile. The rest of the road was silent, only the song Voulez Vous was playing. It was Samuel's favourite ABBA song, he knew all the words but he didn't have the heart to sing it. He was far too broken to enjoy it.
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Samuel looked out the window, imagining the parkour guy jumping over the road signs. The car slowed down in front of an old manor house, everything was made of bricks, it looked like a cathedral. His parents get out and unload the car. He takes off his seatbelt and pushes the door open. They walked towards a dark-haired man wearing a white collar and a long black robe. The man was smiling at him but it looked like he was a predator and he was the prey being served on a silver platter.Samuel swallowed, he was sure this will be worse than hell.The priest started talking with his parents.He started talking to his parents. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Desclaires, thank you for trusting our method, you won't be disappointed". His mother smiled and introduced him to the man. He asked if he knew why he was there but Samuel shrugged. Mary took her son's face in her hands and whispered 'don't worry about a thing 'cause every little things gonna be alright'. She let the man take her child's things before she let a tear fall. The priest put a hand on the lowest part of Samuel's back that his parents could not see. Samuel turns his head and realised that his family has abandoned him for a monster who claims to be a child of God. The man whispered to him that he will take good care of himself on his holiday here and that he should consider this his new home for a long time. He shivered. Everything's gonna be alright, she said.Liar.
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