我經常做光怪陸離的夢。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjTRLmbSzj
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64QGOeKXFC
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRRgLVihO5
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RFIIeZrXV
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURbPQvEquT
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenLsItHC7E
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hSKX3rt8W
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOeK68h3vd
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyt9rlu7AFU
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu50meVnSax
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQHp6S6nf0
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxz3hNI6l1
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZYAylzoZX
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIr1EG0WQXe
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrwdGfMDt1
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI6EIgE2DL
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAAnZhXZYR
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNSm0snmRl
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RSGYgrOVR
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKGok1qYMH
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlmLUqdT7i
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXgekX7hTp
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLgsJrNsQm
對了！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx6rOZCT7J
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT81EXP827M
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRu9YgPxzeT
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTH4BXO6fce
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwGB6D0Uj5
阿日是我的名字。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceiBZHC6zP
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeutVSN6pAR
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWUaes2blX
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqs78PHPF34
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeM85S1ZHYe
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZV5evvhgYv
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjs0xAJcZn5
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRzcg9uJne
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlLLO2a5LV
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8p4Ik3OKA
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ruHEcv9tD
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQSWnR0saE
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHuOyESBmw
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi1GB9C5El
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ctzELqNDi
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuGNDiqUZI
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbnVfUVPDT
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuzpVhQWVi
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KbqH2G5Md
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaiMYZ7n8L
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDImvR5hyk2
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiDkOQNepe
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirrv9036Ya
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9KfvnevDR
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgmtGljMQO
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0sXTbuinu
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwLwIa96ue
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxDGvVhLgm
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH38yO8Ij1v
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2e7fkP1Zc
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmFoxCDRBK
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhE6acuJjH
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgZlUQPJgU
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvgW5ayVq0
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrbH5pkNqI
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPQOnoSlUS
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLdYaeHS8Z
「是的。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFfFb9Whls
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47aADv8y3E
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19ht4YgC5P
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHYxV4xDls
「你的願望不能確保。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNckodn1Ecp
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxffGwNcDy
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlPa8ywfME
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIHjf2k4XT
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzptES9IJCd
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2EN1ktDIA
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zX7DWopGh
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0Wec5XzlQ
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfO95mNyQI
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhugociQoln
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprF0zBFSM5
「好。最後答案？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlMDbU424h
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1VVBRdYG0
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzUsk1taJZ
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4Z3jCFWJe
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyb0JnHinxL
「原來你識講口語…」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndwHBh5rM2
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEB87MLJ3D
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUU1FezUGO
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPhQYtQlu4
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh7TEnZeKb
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1NTWLoVca
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunozPKtqfa
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqqo5KkhaT
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQK6lxIv3dO
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAu89HPcsUP
「原來仲有兩個願望？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oizRFwMqN
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXGo82uFPn
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXVSCYDcdD
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYM2Ou99ud
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u2GL74SZH
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWP04WLPTM
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFY3NHC3tMQ
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUCYI4uTau
我在睡夢中醒來。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoumjpCdTMj
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyJQT5NIcH
我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RAqYFmzdJ
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOy1fPj0UWe
是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDIB3gSALL
然後按「加至主畫面」