第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVhYxJkC8m
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaEhelPu0C
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還沒有學會「接受」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTVpOieWiH
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接受現實499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPu3swf5FpX
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因為認為是屈服499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3rOdsyJr8
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感覺好像自己在投降499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXYGGHgA7R
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放棄一切499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVNjVmrBX2
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQ2R8W6kmB
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqfqH8NkTm
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認為是這樣子的狂妄499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5q78u8Czx
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無他499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UDmhoHooT
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說是愚痴也不過份499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0F9x0ySX4
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只是她不相信499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozJdCnEvcO
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懷疑499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7ygS0cmFr
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她⋯⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeFPlROKps
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「⋯⋯」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjise4SIxZ
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQ0EmTbI6l
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單單是想像也有夠不安499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlnWXQciFS
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9URtyUrl1
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf228q6ADv2
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唯一句499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ1ScxS1Lk
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當局者迷，旁觀者清499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjDdiAQ1pE
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4nnLPqt7T
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4g6YMGLMRa
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3YlXvRlU5
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且不死，無法殺死499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA4N61KRpA
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人家已經很盡力了499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71DRQpYTQv
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaX6XfgQgS
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憤怒499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDnPKfWa88
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMt4FyWyUu
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因為我沒有用499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyOJlGrGvm
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8yPpMYjK6
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKW8PzrcI3h
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9Ivv0SxDM
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKo2vDZKky
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmocm8lQw5x
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhwOiwZIdz
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNukJ99bcyE
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5S6xaEj7S
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHjIClphbb
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡld8AsHtUw3
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn6qbO9Sp2
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPdP9525SX
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已經失眠了多久？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4ekoQmmMd
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8RJozQhfS
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHsneo9uv9
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD6x3aXbMO
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yjAEmyq8t
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIbzAiuNYL
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5k8OzZ9O9H
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHpiiQeQJS
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtDIrVhF5M
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nxZgDOUtL
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwlXQhIhQB
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMR5Om7MJ6Z
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——呀？
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嗯？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluHUcxOZRS
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYrmYDkMz7
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaunrOOCi5o
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUVqmTUsLd
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsbVPWJIed
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZ5iLsRNj9
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZxq3VKQRy
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7G8HcOjdv
我也想活下去
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfltI5ReEs
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIVnEL7xLx
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFEJY7Wu4O
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxoiFnzWao
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuPSriSW5o
或是說，我不希望⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHrIRZ11Di
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXK1qMtP7A
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyBlqWNywr
⋯⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFBNxK5qv4
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對不起499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QooooExEc
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PzysCRByt
我也希望自己⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpTKbZqaSI
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvWXFiG3Bx
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR186azr1KC
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReddYQ342N
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUBEDDsIhD
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46lxvF4AHS
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1CrfVgODu
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujTEeQ1lvx
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kiE0zzzkn
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPnQFzoGYI
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOBoJnRDlh
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YIfrD9ZOy
「⋯⋯嗯」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWahXj6B8k1
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU51y6QEF0U
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFcJzuR1Nk
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHTX8mo3JF
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
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「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
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「⋯⋯」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQEAe4a0oY
「真的」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhygFuof9gD
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cEEMxuVTG
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRorycfE6c
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKN70LbDdWq
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡza7p5H1Qkk
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoOJbXu3T3
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OPt5Xwqvg
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlenPHB9KZ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IEOIPsxtz
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhukIBgZRH
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4vUC8HviG
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDng1L0bIXn
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXibFBcUyOD
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXHpfNIaCo
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMZvoRiXDv
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBiDAoJqan
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJX7Saz4lj
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6tXqOWHXR
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmx6s13hFp
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcMwAwE29N
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnXGhIoQ4E
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBxCIMHhHK
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjPbDREVvb
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfoWpzC8th
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjrGjKaf9y
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uxuiE9Gxp
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaYrCUxWbh
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUz4rY1YUET
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFV2uyOGrrk
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa08i29sOlw
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZG8UNkOfIH
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvJTteCPTG
最後一記，最強烈
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBH9bAiYQt
「⋯哈啊⋯」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLnM1Z0dUw
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbfyJsxLaW
鬆口，直至其手到胸口499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjLWxeTGKB
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAt6SxifXbA
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZ6TBc9Vnz
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22sJObouhA
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufJq9vZmDQ
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrJRPSwJuE
「⋯啊？」
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxl9uohxCKq
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceLaakrH7a
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwPcUOkg2R
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
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「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbestj15HWs
「等、等等」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9dwegxsOE
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhV6vnCt2l
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqBax0JXK1
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70OJyR7mGa
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERK9XzsJ2R
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G9emOQtsl
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAhAGDhWCA
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvTBYJZXRd
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQa5IpKcRc
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOVkiEsqFe
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS48VyAZ4BG
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40h2RTj1r9
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKUsfhLcJ9
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP23lYvIMli
好痛
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但會有人在意嗎？
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYUwj6mFIx
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSjW1JEwlR
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLDK5wyrDw
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeXIKX6X2p
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vQTp1uTA7
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8UfJHDznP
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYb0HyXwKwx
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkz6bHPK2sM
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjpK8UBn80
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUxJlNjEV7
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPMuROhJGD
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZz2ht98R9
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuSvHDNbiU
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvdzCduFrC
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNG3PbsrIw
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqrtMyxLMs
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1pmdBj4kJ
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKOLyWMLgH
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1xdcB87AH
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kZGGRwpjG
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡird9zuJFFW
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx22OxwI8N
比較下，條件不由自己定
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjDxGkbNVN
我沒有選擇權499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQMe5TJ1mo
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidYGyefruu
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKVjzBoskC
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgU6hQVfsQ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHnFxoVLSI
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明白嗎？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnHvdtgcXF
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhhB9tqf5l
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLh8ArbrXvX
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteQqpBxuSx
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKzzRwXOGm
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByfrcfmLwO
若世界更溫柔的話——
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不可能499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rJm2ZnkSI
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivBswZDrSs
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxc7EtmaMkH
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什麼也沒有499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxtjmMjEDI
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkxh9NJiwC
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在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx4ZtA4l23
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWF6XqkzZeb
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當然499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6GQIo8O5U
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絕對
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnMpXsx7Xv
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxj7IYaBe9c
不想499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HmGTUmoUG
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3mJdxpYDM
但始終，真的太辛苦了499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZumswFcjv
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⋯⋯499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DejUKfQIR
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思考真的太辛苦了499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4I4UlhgJNi
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEljc65UP7B
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3f8fEtDfWY
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0td5e519Uu
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「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
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「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKmwszrw0Q
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlObiWfq19h
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10oYwuADfX
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7j9sgChmpD
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3N1U2WwCi
「⋯⋯對不起」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDIl5g21NF
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUY4NlIDqF
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GQhSnzh5W
「嗯⋯」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAsSiNNylI
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t8hyP51Lh
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ37cenNFdf
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNSQx8lFny
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaMHlKzuzI
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05ZhApLBnw
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIvUqLh1qI
「忠誠致赤雨之日」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCk18u0fJd
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGdPAMUhjC
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9JRk4gQut
女孩說道
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXlOnQSqhl
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNioGjCLAlc
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVHUxeAGuJ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1lKewc0au
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxejCCFFyI
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZzkkv3KA6
是女孩的指示499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡno50MVvyNP
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07xCAovOLF
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZq69ghdwGV
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNwtBFH99p
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6ATmUlTge
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSWdJ5Zrei
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0GohNcAJs
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQIi6inuwO
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5hdeDmwEu
直至最後能看見的——499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGF2BOoy9x
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYWk4mOUjP
也不存在
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfoK2h32hl
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3iWzog0E7
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBIm0O2gt2
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz70uuHRe6c
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Kj8DhyCa4
但無法辨認499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaBtwbv0vE
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyMhv4y1UF
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2QOR6Immc
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7HEiCGfGr
黑暗將自己包圍499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfFBrRKvsD
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQvZhWlCuX
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2I8Gl3VerT
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3k5RTWPKL
不知多久了499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DV3WmpPhG
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe19OKELbbl
在那時開始499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCdnOhyiZ1
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLeCblOY62
那裏499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3ZNRVYoe6
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoT8RdSmokw
但有些事情〇〇
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3krgFXkA2x
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMu3RP3rNcb
〇〇〇499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQtiFv4egH
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyJW6yZ1tX
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjhisXiylx
〇〇〇〇〇〇499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaV4erdXIyL
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBgsyz7ikU
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1cA8dRHwJ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEYmEi1ZAc
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3mZcGmfcj
現在不是你的回合499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqJNrch5cm
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6M97AEbKy
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQAPNHKiw0
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and then Add to home screen.