你好,我是莊坌但。314Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6vZR35HPN
314Please respect copyright.PENANALYqDtYbeNw
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?314Please respect copyright.PENANAAwbLT4aHB3
314Please respect copyright.PENANAKpZY2iiWFw
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。314Please respect copyright.PENANArpzk3NLnwF
314Please respect copyright.PENANAvdEHIzUXDu
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。314Please respect copyright.PENANA6ylQqr27ox
314Please respect copyright.PENANAwonhLGX4Bi
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。314Please respect copyright.PENANAHpnT674ekF
314Please respect copyright.PENANAAgIBL9HhAG
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。314Please respect copyright.PENANAedB1v4AThB
314Please respect copyright.PENANAyQzr9MZnZW
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。314Please respect copyright.PENANAcf1nuygawc
314Please respect copyright.PENANAyFjqutq5kg
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。314Please respect copyright.PENANA0h9KtJOhcl
314Please respect copyright.PENANABIm3d0frDL
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。314Please respect copyright.PENANAZip6Kj2zde
314Please respect copyright.PENANAkyR8NkmAsM
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。314Please respect copyright.PENANArGktmxhsbG
314Please respect copyright.PENANA931f19zed9
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。314Please respect copyright.PENANAum9XM7H5jV
314Please respect copyright.PENANAcF0KsLfWNr
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。314Please respect copyright.PENANADJBD5Toqsq
314Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8hzAnX098
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。314Please respect copyright.PENANACv5yGr9f2g
314Please respect copyright.PENANAkaWldV4TBn
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。314Please respect copyright.PENANASiXj5F19nh
314Please respect copyright.PENANAvRFdITshUU
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。314Please respect copyright.PENANAGV6NX6ezzE
314Please respect copyright.PENANArZVccvGSmJ
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。314Please respect copyright.PENANAfeAsGTFK9M
314Please respect copyright.PENANAoHOdJYQgr0
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。314Please respect copyright.PENANAkibSDRTqxk
314Please respect copyright.PENANARnXwmf15lo
「你好,我是……」314Please respect copyright.PENANAVeEyal3QJz
314Please respect copyright.PENANA4cD9qTBWas
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」314Please respect copyright.PENANAnMhdPmIXAc
314Please respect copyright.PENANA2BPRqKXhSe
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!314Please respect copyright.PENANAG6NcgYPESy
314Please respect copyright.PENANAGbgOnPljzQ
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。314Please respect copyright.PENANAL4MaV8oWmF
314Please respect copyright.PENANAnj4n5Ab0pC
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。314Please respect copyright.PENANAOyi8LbeBFj
314Please respect copyright.PENANADpsCvHFi9R
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?314Please respect copyright.PENANAETiJkUFh0Z
314Please respect copyright.PENANAbiTsSyKah4
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!314Please respect copyright.PENANAxgpHf1C3fP
314Please respect copyright.PENANAs7fvmwWiCn
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!314Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4IqbMKsKM
314Please respect copyright.PENANA3rROU3SoTA
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?314Please respect copyright.PENANANZ5ASpfq1S
314Please respect copyright.PENANAhOAQHQJx2m
不好啊非常的不好啊!314Please respect copyright.PENANA6Vq27J8QB5
314Please respect copyright.PENANAb4nHeOetIB
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。314Please respect copyright.PENANA4IG9rTkmni
314Please respect copyright.PENANArStNfoZWQe
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。314Please respect copyright.PENANAmglnP8Gcv0
314Please respect copyright.PENANAhUZB4Pb0XE
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!314Please respect copyright.PENANAsMxSa18sht
314Please respect copyright.PENANAVS7cY0jmVD
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。314Please respect copyright.PENANAOppFHgJnDG
314Please respect copyright.PENANACUOx34SNWL
出了社會,總是得找份工作。314Please respect copyright.PENANAyWoxAnDPGF
314Please respect copyright.PENANA60Q3hoHMYS
我自己買了台50CC通勤。314Please respect copyright.PENANArLSlVg9TM0
314Please respect copyright.PENANAPzmdLXvAYA
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。314Please respect copyright.PENANA6UEC6NVXes
314Please respect copyright.PENANAUEhetD14BB
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。314Please respect copyright.PENANAXZzdX5Kv70
314Please respect copyright.PENANA94JzO2ewhz
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。314Please respect copyright.PENANAXyvyLBY4kq
314Please respect copyright.PENANApKisjVUjVe
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」314Please respect copyright.PENANAXHjX0F5J64
314Please respect copyright.PENANAJb04bieU6Q
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」314Please respect copyright.PENANA40Mk05N4Z1
314Please respect copyright.PENANAcfnlZazoI9
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」314Please respect copyright.PENANAoD4kVtQyEQ
314Please respect copyright.PENANAhCMWxCXXCm
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。314Please respect copyright.PENANAQErwqb8ScJ
314Please respect copyright.PENANAfka1qCiNSU
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。314Please respect copyright.PENANAJSus5cSvcS
314Please respect copyright.PENANAVgHuCSaDwD
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。314Please respect copyright.PENANARQXCqaX3S1
314Please respect copyright.PENANAJnxXzbIwaZ
它熄火,我傻眼。314Please respect copyright.PENANAfPl525AqJ9
314Please respect copyright.PENANAB5ZRRnYifR
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。314Please respect copyright.PENANA7MJHLk1MAj
314Please respect copyright.PENANAjlGQAQZosL
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。314Please respect copyright.PENANAot4aVdsSgJ
314Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1IAH9xsbc
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。314Please respect copyright.PENANAyShife8yZ8
314Please respect copyright.PENANA9fe8Fmb28l
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!314Please respect copyright.PENANAgRNw6WUGga
314Please respect copyright.PENANAJi1XvNXGp7
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。314Please respect copyright.PENANAKustjbJJjV
314Please respect copyright.PENANACvnkmhnHRL
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?314Please respect copyright.PENANAnK6GZQCdma
314Please respect copyright.PENANAjlekq3Icmw
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。314Please respect copyright.PENANADNCYp8VEx6
314Please respect copyright.PENANASMjlCyq2wP
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!314Please respect copyright.PENANAHpoJYkZfzy
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笨蛋與殺手
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1.主角登場
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