你好，我是莊坌但。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlICTcYlfoQ
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SUv2krKrF
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXs797NK1ij
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lKjRnrxaT
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhTb9r2TzM
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UWP9kO9VU
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3tS4bVr1i
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iYf6AoJWh
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkqozXXcW3
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIo1ppyqX9
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vp0Jdg8Ea
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVsQaUHbRP
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhOyyqTjgc
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IqAJz6puH
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQgAchLSrH
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS75gjilEKZ
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILQ8aJcy7U
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvHIK2bTVO
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8C7xcOymT
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU3RgPswPh
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jicDdTaim
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLQzxIFBeH
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4WvGrTq00
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJZtc0Atoj
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zhJt3nJLQ
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjY3aLzVMg
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4W53RaqwR
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNbAr2o5Xy
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegXLQKGHBc
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzZNJsCvoz
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSn4bZ6iTCb
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVCGHRZwoe
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjtb1gUZXX
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3k7tZBiIM
「你好，我是……」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqXtcxH00a
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQQmUneodd
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmV1eyrSrW
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fH6PDsuc8
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrybdMWlr0t
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQfzmVsurt
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VqL63tbBV
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCG2xNJO0y9
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA74LJtjVJ
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVE2dMkrjZ
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SXbceVWNT
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkvLNhaLLU
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FAKwFjqTU
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhxelaStUj
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3PBAONIXA
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwtphtXEkU
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡup5kfj25Qu
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5npRJjZZ1Y
不好啊非常的不好啊！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfmtYcUzRB
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqRFafL2eB
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSS4xNgRe9j
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsDAL9OhiP
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hAsqvZV0W
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83ZFjB0HI2
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm68vHKXToC
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA5SE5Sdbb
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcwf34Lejn
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMHLirRIS8
出了社會，總是得找份工作。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSRLVqM5i1
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlNjrzrVho
我自己買了台50CC通勤。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EztRIG9yL
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWB7NE16SRp
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmHD7DHL83
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfvL6BedIj
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vHqk2CpC1
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5D1IuUqlA
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXD4AnfqHyu
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmruuPOn8Ml
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5byxUuzXN
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOVHDTux1G
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGCFgtOsJS
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsI1YqfbXp5
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBtM1K0ilI
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGaeagmyLp
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFt8eryC6l
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERytzJfqF2
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6XksUvvOj
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPBePI23xJ
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT71k1g40dh
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzY3QOFvEoG
它熄火，我傻眼。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeO3sLkm0HJ
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRyrukBb87
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSsMWKwXup
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuqLzqhZhv
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxRf6f4SNz
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf98Z3Z2DCr
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSZUljtEeV
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHY95a2Nj3
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB756PxfLl1
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfn2Ei3Hk9Q
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡux97ShsM9x
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUn6Li8JiE
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfWLcYRcFg
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwmn7eWvkE
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUB4xXqQbQ
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0z7Ce0o38
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ETo5n2W7O
笨蛋與殺手
作者:
喂
喂
篇 #1
1.主角登場
喜歡 0
閱讀 485
書籤 1
提出編輯建議
以 Facebook 帳號登入
或 註册/登入 以留言或加上書籤 按此加載下一章
×
寫下你喜歡這個故事的地方
然後按「加至主畫面」