你好,我是莊坌但。316Please respect copyright.PENANAqvnDSl0KbF
316Please respect copyright.PENANAgiU1KEAuVC
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?316Please respect copyright.PENANADPqmHFbzGF
316Please respect copyright.PENANAuuHik1qGfL
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。316Please respect copyright.PENANAHS9Gv7OVoF
316Please respect copyright.PENANABtVInJqEuF
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。316Please respect copyright.PENANAw4g3gyoYFN
316Please respect copyright.PENANAoF1CUaLdN1
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。316Please respect copyright.PENANAtqg61DQPiU
316Please respect copyright.PENANAQWmcehdGAW
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。316Please respect copyright.PENANAZXoToFCKP5
316Please respect copyright.PENANAchE4NRCpCl
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。316Please respect copyright.PENANARuc214Uo3t
316Please respect copyright.PENANAa4KcVs5WqP
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。316Please respect copyright.PENANAQZSsgInsxl
316Please respect copyright.PENANARRPJIPdghE
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。316Please respect copyright.PENANAh6OzTFQyeb
316Please respect copyright.PENANAFMDTqtTJwP
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。316Please respect copyright.PENANAYKX8YO7roL
316Please respect copyright.PENANAFSxvbJvZ34
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。316Please respect copyright.PENANAXK4iAQvCLD
316Please respect copyright.PENANANpw2zuBHrw
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。316Please respect copyright.PENANAbJNtS0a9Yj
316Please respect copyright.PENANAfjUPQMwxX6
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。316Please respect copyright.PENANA1ah3nR7iH2
316Please respect copyright.PENANA12sFsAsSLW
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。316Please respect copyright.PENANAZcVqZzT8Lh
316Please respect copyright.PENANAf7aTYpmQW3
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。316Please respect copyright.PENANAD4LlYEDkln
316Please respect copyright.PENANAh51xLSMrbJ
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。316Please respect copyright.PENANA1gCP01aUVy
316Please respect copyright.PENANAerIuNyPHm2
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。316Please respect copyright.PENANAQZJpXsEbEy
316Please respect copyright.PENANAiFS0v0EcRH
「你好,我是……」316Please respect copyright.PENANAZz8Y8g7sJb
316Please respect copyright.PENANAXkRoa3vsBX
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」316Please respect copyright.PENANAwCQJvLYMCz
316Please respect copyright.PENANAddiK2ONnMJ
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!316Please respect copyright.PENANA3do5OU2UbD
316Please respect copyright.PENANAUCPcMDLipI
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。316Please respect copyright.PENANAlfgJX39flX
316Please respect copyright.PENANAgeEObWodLi
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。316Please respect copyright.PENANAGz0mlW4akA
316Please respect copyright.PENANAgwLhT3CapY
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?316Please respect copyright.PENANARAw2h9lq3M
316Please respect copyright.PENANAk21tGafhhA
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!316Please respect copyright.PENANAchR0AxmPAF
316Please respect copyright.PENANAbrLvgYyUl5
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!316Please respect copyright.PENANAviW1Ep29TD
316Please respect copyright.PENANAaJ4I8ZhgvC
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?316Please respect copyright.PENANAYbs1j4Tjqr
316Please respect copyright.PENANAwH5HRRTjvU
不好啊非常的不好啊!316Please respect copyright.PENANAeGFmP9eeNQ
316Please respect copyright.PENANAwBkjT4dvqr
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。316Please respect copyright.PENANA2T0lIXMjvQ
316Please respect copyright.PENANAVh0PCHlSzA
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。316Please respect copyright.PENANA6emG4dJWBC
316Please respect copyright.PENANAQK1qUAHXoR
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!316Please respect copyright.PENANAVUpM315XkA
316Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3ly1HyBva
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。316Please respect copyright.PENANA7hlSKVnDTd
316Please respect copyright.PENANAxxfWkHFiHT
出了社會,總是得找份工作。316Please respect copyright.PENANA1h1JgRS7sd
316Please respect copyright.PENANAKxDT2PJaU1
我自己買了台50CC通勤。316Please respect copyright.PENANAutyADntawe
316Please respect copyright.PENANAn0khN6Bzs1
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。316Please respect copyright.PENANAISExw2fDkj
316Please respect copyright.PENANAcsg4WmURGI
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。316Please respect copyright.PENANALrPxgyS5Pw
316Please respect copyright.PENANAHB4TcnZe91
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。316Please respect copyright.PENANAQNfTZd5Wtm
316Please respect copyright.PENANAkwXAO4gU9V
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」316Please respect copyright.PENANApTw87F5Guh
316Please respect copyright.PENANA6nBZfm142E
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」316Please respect copyright.PENANA87hJzW2pdK
316Please respect copyright.PENANAcYcTQiEBNa
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」316Please respect copyright.PENANA7nREw7r6HV
316Please respect copyright.PENANANEHeTvY0es
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。316Please respect copyright.PENANA1itcV7uXm5
316Please respect copyright.PENANAhOijpfhw7L
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。316Please respect copyright.PENANA6UqicTtoAP
316Please respect copyright.PENANAogkjGODcvu
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。316Please respect copyright.PENANAHCsfgUy5Kq
316Please respect copyright.PENANAmH0QsPE13H
它熄火,我傻眼。316Please respect copyright.PENANAZxrOfQYN5C
316Please respect copyright.PENANApTUtV3NShG
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。316Please respect copyright.PENANAAMalQlWaWZ
316Please respect copyright.PENANA2Dlndkxzl7
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。316Please respect copyright.PENANAyGhpUHKNxo
316Please respect copyright.PENANAvY8lzIFqnZ
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。316Please respect copyright.PENANARR9sHnoYYq
316Please respect copyright.PENANARyStLclvln
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!316Please respect copyright.PENANATAnpsIOrLL
316Please respect copyright.PENANAQMfJuwnQxa
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。316Please respect copyright.PENANALIWldamNBD
316Please respect copyright.PENANAIZ3dD9fxCB
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?316Please respect copyright.PENANANl0al9BpRZ
316Please respect copyright.PENANAYGEPLpEtWd
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。316Please respect copyright.PENANAaBwIFQTZPm
316Please respect copyright.PENANAklNBVcuoed
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!316Please respect copyright.PENANAmk7vn8WXhH
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笨蛋與殺手
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笨蛋與殺手
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