文: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/
珍如就是一個習慣事後孔明的人，每天大部分時間都活在懊悔之中。她習慣不斷回想過去，回想「過去中的她」有多糟糕，所以「現在」才會不是她期望中的那樣子。她會猜想當初應該要怎樣做才可更好、才可以沒有出錯，她慣性不斷幻想另一選擇的人生會比較合心意及圓滿。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHE2hlZhQ6Z
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhX99a2NEO
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmvpHKjKMp
「當時我不應該這樣做的，應該要想到其他做法才對。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgE9gH90IB8
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbvqzoyGIj
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQkOUstpNK
「早知道我就不這樣說了，如果我就能再表達得更好就好了。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNxMTVvfo4
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM3ivRof1l
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7nj6WKHPN
「如果出門前我有帶傘就好了，現在就不用停滯在商場內了。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLh27vlcGi
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniag4IJB5F
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcEKx4pAX4
「啊，如果我能在之前就做好決定就好了，現在時間愈久，愈拖就愈膽怯，也愈來愈多憂慮，更躊躇不前。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIFEEuZwb2
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCRhayo4td
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylMBqF2hmz
「櫻桃口味的煎餅好難吃，早知道我就點巧克力口味啦。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEmCBMHGkr
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGtgJXcn3I
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyR8AmJV2L
「好像還是黑色皮帶比較美，早知道我就買黑色皮帶的手錶了。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOarleddDfq
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboBNlb6KwR
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ66h6zveZ5
「如果我作了另一個抉擇，一定會比現在快樂。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqm5KKQXx5f
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbCBcShdr1
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7lJvQo5fZ
—————————————————425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOhRlCiyVO
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9UifI7Ggd
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NEdSJmduC
今天晚上，珍如又和老公吵架了，任她費盡唇舌，她也不能令他明白多一點她的心思意念。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9JHTXYcw7
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOasVtLSKcK
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28JaVYVYBX
每次吵架過後，她無處可逃時，都會躲進樓下24小時開放的快餐店內，一直待到早上，等老公上班和公婆出門喝早茶後才甘心回家。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGyK1OwLRC
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnm3DWk9GBw
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLXMVTzonO
黑夜時份，反而是快餐店內最熱鬧的時候，這裡容納著每個不願進睡、不捨入睡、滿懷煩惱、心裡寂寞的人們。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6AyiWdw3t
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRZWhoyuJo
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxt7noPMaA
燈光昏暗的快餐店，在夜裡有種迷幻的情調。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGgJ2LmVJr
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWM5aKDgPdb
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnpiItWaeJ
珍如穿著短T恤、短褲，腳上踏著拖鞋，一身輕便又破舊的家居服，拖著疲憊的身驅走了進去，點了一個蘋果批就坐下來開始發呆。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2motdlntO
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMDlS34LKa
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkuJTzV6hR
被捨棄了的人生決定通常都會很像鬼魅，常常在脆弱的黑夜裡冷不防就出來徘徊一下下。雖然所有人生處境和細節都不會完美，但活在另一個人生決定裡的自己會是怎麼樣的呢……425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhD8PVRikYU
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVqLkGbBPs
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzLx0HP0hl
珍如以寂靜的眼神望著坐在對面桌子的年輕女生，她大慨是中三、中四的年紀吧。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gAdf7Aaud
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkG2Dqx31m
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE38Rgu5hR
「年輕真好。」珍如大口嚼著蘋果批，心裡慨嘆著。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjeXCvFje0
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxdvvy8FCC
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAN5doKjCRE
珍如今年29歲，結婚快6年，也意味她過了6年當家庭主婦的日子。她沒有兒女，但老公非常大男人主義，他要求珍如婚後就要全心全意把家庭照顧好，他們也一定要和公婆同住。所以就算不用照顧小孩，但還有兩個比小孩更難服侍的老爺和奶奶在家，珍如更加覺得自己失去了自由。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeage8zwD6
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡox2wAKcq5i
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9Hz98vhYd
剛開始婚姻生活的頭一年，珍如還是覺得非常甜蜜，她的老公還是會細心對待她，和公婆相處也算融洽，但從婚後第二年，珍如經歷了小產過後，一切都改變了。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaRqLXppOl
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniJMyhU9VH
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNy6iWS2Ie
但她還能怎樣呢？珍如已經6年沒有接觸社會，她也沒有獨立的經濟能力，就算她有大學學歷，她還可以填回空白的部分，同時重新過她的人生嗎？425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeRCosAgoG
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31WFgwjO3p
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nYOEGiPy5
「早知道我就不跟他結婚了，現在的他超惹我討厭的，整個人都變成另一人似的，我後悔了啦。」珍如雙手掩臉，雙眼開始水盈盈。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hU8g6NgJ3
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa389KWGco
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoyjsxAgm4
如果她當初沒有選擇結婚，沒有一時意亂情迷就敗在男人手上，她應該會當上老師吧？這是她一直以來的心願和夢想，但就在畢業的那一年，她遇上了她現在的老公——浩華。他們突然急速陷入暴風似的熱戀之中，當時的珍如，甘願為他放棄自己的夢想來換取婚姻。那時他們只交往四個多月，珍如現在回想起，當時的她，根本沒有真正認識過浩華。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROWkcsi9G7
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvwJPo6PAE
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm32lN3rTnu
同時，她還放棄了她交往了5年的初戀男友——阿遙。而3年前，珍如得知阿遙遇上意外過世的悲痛消息，自此之後，珍如更加厭惡她的家庭及人生。如果那時選擇了阿遙，和阿遙走到最後，說不定還比較幸福吧，他一直都是一個溫柔，又懂得遷就她壞脾氣的男人。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZU8W2imDT
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXdEebdrEY
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3JOEv8dub
現在，珍如露出可憐兮兮的樣子。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GLG4FWN6c
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUjEnhKy7Y
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGfd37IfEg
「珍如，是妳嗎？」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg85L4zzlC
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiTEgu8kqp
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUZ6aScQAH
快餐店的嘈雜聲彷彿被吸進另一世界裡，空氣變得好像靜止了。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalhrQNgVJv
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFTrQJhcC0
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jDk1gBrxt
聽到有人喚著自己的名字，珍如轉過身來。站在她旁邊的，是不可能在此時出現的阿遙。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PJAl8FeGd
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOneqeFgyYj
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOw9KD8rFh
多年不見，阿遙現在的容貌比珍如印象中成熟及老成許多，肩膀也厚實了。但他還是喜歡在右耳上配戴黑色寶石耳環。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtozsLjx7c
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGhEyDpeTy
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFOj9ou4HM
珍如瞪大烏溜溜的雙眼，怔怔看著阿遙，喉嚨發不出一絲聲音。她曾經去阿遙的墓碑前「探望」過他，那張黑白照片，還有相中人的笑容仍然深刻她的內心，而現在，她看見活生生的他在眼前出現……425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxI486TccUS
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGiskMzBeC
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhuwVpNHWe
「我果然沒有認錯人，雖然好久不見，但珍如還是同一個樣子，沒有很大的改變啊。」阿遙的笑容仍然非常溫暖人心。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPV1685KxP
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM474kKF9Ls
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OpP4ue3PD
珍如盡量維持平靜的表情，但內心激動不已。她是否已經神志錯亂？她已經發瘋了？同時她也尷尬不已，她一身隨便得有點失禮的家居服，加上她糟糕到極的人生，讓她羞愧得想找個地洞跳進去。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAG6kN9KR3
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqoUpoCQJJ
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrddBNXXJcP
「是……是我沒錯啊。」珍如不敢再直視阿遙，眼神只能落在他耳珠上的黑寶石耳環，身體微微抖震。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zAsjIhffQ
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0afEbUjGTw
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMX12tA6HX
珍如覺得寶石剌眼的光芒很令人感到煩躁和心痛。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WDDSo7Aeb
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxE5XE9X2o
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh16j92L8Z
阿遙在珍如身邊坐下後，她嗅到他身上像牛奶糖般的味道，是她曾經熟悉過、感到安全感的氣味。珍如覺得胸口有股快要爆炸的灼熱感覺，這一切到底是什麼一回事？425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauMDfEvAbA
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttgmwxZ8ye
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQ71F4PIIw
阿遙積極地想要了解珍如的現況，但珍如只有面露難色。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDKUbjo0DN
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgOoLDytdF
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjPny2eFAS
「啊，對不起。」阿遙搔搔頭。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCk5aLcRzPY
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Gs0jTaNdE
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFt1Z3ciC2p
「沒關係啊，你不用和我道歉。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V1a9mntgE
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHMOtkqp4C
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrSf6L0iAC
「也是，道歉只會顯得太過假惺惺吧。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10vFwzc2uZ
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0WZawtebg
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHmm1ViViA
「咦？」珍如露出不解的表情，該道歉的，不是她嗎？425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVtVNaR9gZ
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeqE2j4VjU
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgTyiSksfv
「妳一直都對我很專一，但3年前我竟然愛上別的女人，背叛了妳，讓妳傷心了。離婚後我都不敢再打探妳的消息，但我一直都真心希望妳能再遇到一個好男人，過得比以前幸福。」阿遙說出珍如聽不明白的話，但神情無比認真。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9gCaesa04
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡph8GBiXEVX
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEaPTpmwMZ
阿遙沒死，浩華沒有在我生命中出現過，我和阿遙在後來的日子中理所當然地結婚了，但我們卻……沒有永遠都過著幸福甜蜜的家庭生活嗎？這是另一個世界的場境嗎？是否因為在這個世界裡她當了壞人，在另一世界的她就要受到同樣的懲罰？425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NOSLodDb2
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmF2OZCCL7P
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlgRQDr3Lt
雖然如此，但阿遙在另一世界並沒有死去，也安然生存著，還是一件令珍如感到欣慰和心滿意足的事。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfPM9k5wao
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7kJfBWSX9
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLK9h4SX2A
「能和你再遇見，我覺得……現在很幸福啊。」珍如忍住快要奪框而出的淚水。她猜阿遙應該覺得她在語無倫次吧。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnqGuFsjTP
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsEE8bgxLA
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQlBb5OYzR
「什麼？妳不要開玩笑了啦，妳恨不得我消失吧。」阿遙哈哈大笑地揮揮手。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsLQPUOUit
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2jOGsCy9Q
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq8pOg3f8A
珍如不知還能說些什麼，只是隨心底的渴望給了阿遙一個懷抱，久久沒有放開過。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMa1mi3jvT9
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPkoZeR69k
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxXlMZykO6
—————————————————425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqLh7P419X
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljVsV0t1FE
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUHMNTxrr8
另一邊廂，到了早上時份，在偌大的辦公室內，穿著高級白色套裝、臉上施著薄妝的珍如，重重地吐氣，如適重負地把身體往後躺，讓自己完全放鬆地倚靠著椅背。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeM6F2Lkewl
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdKuZUDLSq
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rDPMu2hpE
坐在她對面的，是城內一位最火紅、最權威性的算命大師。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD36f8of83z
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbNf6iRKUo
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxORTjccSKj
年近半百的算命老師笑問：「怎樣？昨晚嘗試了另一人生的苦痛滋味，也再窺探了另一個自以為是夢想中的生活，感覺怎樣？」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMg2PZ55N2
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cenzWe5dc
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQiUtuJSCD
「謝謝你的神秘力量，讓我發現現在這個人生，是我最喜歡的。最喜歡最喜歡，抉擇原來沒有之一。」仍然單身的珍如露出甜美、燦爛的笑容。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CD1jaty4B
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXMH9rS4gx
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIPyG9h6ts
還好她當初還是因為內疚而同時放棄了浩華和阿遙。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUR1tn3codc
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZw8wt5piQ
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3H8rRfp34
之後的她，果斷地踏上教師之路，一步一步完成她的夢想。現在的她，當上了城中補習名校的當紅教師，事業攀上高峰，但因與男明星正在傳出緋聞，現在她的每個行為舉止都會成為城中熱話。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4sG8xGYvI
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV5tYy7at4
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAydHjuO2ZF
當中她會有遇上人事上的挫敗、對教學失去熱誠之時，單身的她回到空無一人的家裡，背負著沉重的事業壓力，那她就會開始猜想，如果當初她選擇步入婚姻，有男人疼愛的她會否過得比較輕鬆和快樂？425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCz0c8sHgs
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEe6IqYxzdC
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjk8i9dAtic
她沒有想到，當初浪漫又會甜言蜜語的浩華讓她後來的人生過得這麼苦，阿遙更在那個世界中死去；而原來就算她沒有在畢業時因浩華放棄阿遙，和阿遙結婚後的甜蜜生活也沒有維持很長久，他們還是不能安然走到人生的最後，命運還是讓他們分道揚鑣了。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJCwnqsOFX
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUABraVwmO
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9m1WlPBLLV
「擁有」和「遺憾」好像雙生兒，而人，只能一直往前走。每個人都有自己的路要走，那條獨特的路程，只有此時此刻的自己能走吧？我們都只能擁有現在、那唯一的自己。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzNsUdgj1a
文: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOWZ9f7Uq9
然後按「加至主畫面」