好痛。189Please respect copyright.PENANAga4Ae6L8iL
189Please respect copyright.PENANAmzqhQLhwX4
好痛,卻哭不出來。189Please respect copyright.PENANAtUMVNrLjsC
189Please respect copyright.PENANARGHJQd6Uu4
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。189Please respect copyright.PENANAIbzkTJd56d
189Please respect copyright.PENANAgkfdN5td9S
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。189Please respect copyright.PENANADhS3pf6wSw
189Please respect copyright.PENANA75jKmO17do
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。189Please respect copyright.PENANA0JXO8xFQzw
189Please respect copyright.PENANAiMm4auWNvH
『你現在在哪裡?』189Please respect copyright.PENANAXJymTIxiuk
189Please respect copyright.PENANA98heiWiIYb
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。189Please respect copyright.PENANA4TNyjOPOE1
189Please respect copyright.PENANAFLRWzW4OyD
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。189Please respect copyright.PENANA8jzaMwT3tC
189Please respect copyright.PENANA64KP8uFo9V
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。189Please respect copyright.PENANA1k7NaoNH0j
189Please respect copyright.PENANAZluZrkdIdL
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。189Please respect copyright.PENANAieWhl5o1yP
189Please respect copyright.PENANAVwemYoQBlv
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。189Please respect copyright.PENANA4z2AfedF9Z
189Please respect copyright.PENANALSd0gz4nX6
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。189Please respect copyright.PENANABtWW1CEPDz
189Please respect copyright.PENANAz4o7pgi5F9
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。189Please respect copyright.PENANA8HDtKPBWds
189Please respect copyright.PENANA8lAbBZSEd7
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。189Please respect copyright.PENANAYPdavYY8Ta
189Please respect copyright.PENANACN24Slkx2Y
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。189Please respect copyright.PENANAqUTQqdXcqg
189Please respect copyright.PENANAHXtjqUWD3U
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。189Please respect copyright.PENANAOiHUn8zBeo
189Please respect copyright.PENANAnSNxRzLD1n
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。189Please respect copyright.PENANAQicIb6RsuH
189Please respect copyright.PENANAk3yVJnwHlv
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。189Please respect copyright.PENANAO9rOGpCHLT
189Please respect copyright.PENANArJp4fADown
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。189Please respect copyright.PENANA59k6MvYZyO
189Please respect copyright.PENANATwGsovrz2Q
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。189Please respect copyright.PENANAMZSJQC1F7k
189Please respect copyright.PENANAsvCY83QFU6
又是這個奇怪的問題。189Please respect copyright.PENANAZcsIWR7kQj
189Please respect copyright.PENANApmjfokg0oG
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。189Please respect copyright.PENANAxkFGvZOKTf
189Please respect copyright.PENANAz1ApihDlDg
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。189Please respect copyright.PENANAsrIzvyUln6
189Please respect copyright.PENANAgZWGFVzEN7
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。189Please respect copyright.PENANAQiWdXlzTFE
189Please respect copyright.PENANAscauUDnxKg
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。189Please respect copyright.PENANADc2cG5UDFX
189Please respect copyright.PENANA7MOSYqhZhZ
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。189Please respect copyright.PENANAmWAdWcNqLe
189Please respect copyright.PENANAHEVVNoVpEm
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。189Please respect copyright.PENANAyST3uZSSEw
189Please respect copyright.PENANAEBPCMHxTwR
高斯死了。189Please respect copyright.PENANAIORO3IQyNx
189Please respect copyright.PENANAKtiFJMfCmP
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。189Please respect copyright.PENANAkPs1jf6f0z
189Please respect copyright.PENANApbCh8nLATS
『就因為這樣?』189Please respect copyright.PENANAxcvi7KNw1b
189Please respect copyright.PENANA3Cy9FKCqEX
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。189Please respect copyright.PENANAGx8hG0XsrK
189Please respect copyright.PENANAqNvnRGSTCF
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。189Please respect copyright.PENANAdep9Vq5OXL
189Please respect copyright.PENANAo5yjuPspWl
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。189Please respect copyright.PENANAQETuDP4P6c
189Please respect copyright.PENANAelM0hBhcwv
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。189Please respect copyright.PENANAep8Kbnp1jC
189Please respect copyright.PENANAqLAe2vfhfc
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。189Please respect copyright.PENANA9qUGiNSkXY
189Please respect copyright.PENANA6TeaZCLir2
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。189Please respect copyright.PENANAeWWHTdPRNJ
189Please respect copyright.PENANAKQXfbtiUf1
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。189Please respect copyright.PENANA0rYFw2xYcu
189Please respect copyright.PENANACukCPd3ktz
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。189Please respect copyright.PENANA9vceqU1Nr8
189Please respect copyright.PENANA1TGjzQnk4U
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。189Please respect copyright.PENANAU4uzsUg9AA
189Please respect copyright.PENANAmbfvE3mytr
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。189Please respect copyright.PENANAD2hAFrf9H8
189Please respect copyright.PENANAWyl8jg3AFl
艾瑪去世了。189Please respect copyright.PENANANuid4FMaRA
189Please respect copyright.PENANAZibOG7OqUO
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。189Please respect copyright.PENANALmpmmBeEjG
189Please respect copyright.PENANA4nZDpjkfkc
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。189Please respect copyright.PENANAYg8rGjmE1e
189Please respect copyright.PENANAQSk3DV7RdG
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。189Please respect copyright.PENANAq75vEvcJIw
189Please respect copyright.PENANAF1bU2a5CUr
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。189Please respect copyright.PENANAdkjb8DZftf
189Please respect copyright.PENANA7IetK3Ur4c
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。189Please respect copyright.PENANA67UhHiAQdi
189Please respect copyright.PENANAvx7QO8RPQJ
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。189Please respect copyright.PENANAgDrI9RUc4o
189Please respect copyright.PENANAIRS4XRm27p
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。189Please respect copyright.PENANAqGU0XEszNE
189Please respect copyright.PENANA37FX4fzczq
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。189Please respect copyright.PENANAdB5oFHYzpW
189Please respect copyright.PENANASD9fqR8oxA
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。189Please respect copyright.PENANA04CLFcMQEN
189Please respect copyright.PENANAbwDNKFX37a
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。189Please respect copyright.PENANAfmEYiaFaHu
189Please respect copyright.PENANA1bvxKk1ggP
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——189Please respect copyright.PENANAtuJZrFCbSN
189Please respect copyright.PENANAbiQ4WMpG75
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。189Please respect copyright.PENANAMXS9erLwn0
189Please respect copyright.PENANAdvPRSh3IWD
我們一樣痛。189Please respect copyright.PENANAJAKogvW25C
189Please respect copyright.PENANAaTNLHzLWsV
——我現在在哪裡?189Please respect copyright.PENANA1aG94z7xLW
189Please respect copyright.PENANA7yUy97mPEF
好痛。189Please respect copyright.PENANA1N3g5MVE8h
189Please respect copyright.PENANAfoz1IvrPDT
好痛,卻哭不出來。189Please respect copyright.PENANApVOAXtpiAg
189Please respect copyright.PENANAfBIXazShKB
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。189Please respect copyright.PENANA08vdjYrcNX
189Please respect copyright.PENANAJGYotJ9XpM
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。189Please respect copyright.PENANAapXKj2XTVf
189Please respect copyright.PENANAWPYw8jgmso
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。189Please respect copyright.PENANAVWUSIzl1F6
189Please respect copyright.PENANAt0I4QTz9ls
好痛,好憤怒。189Please respect copyright.PENANAxizQlczIOv
189Please respect copyright.PENANAHBf2wzMo3l
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。189Please respect copyright.PENANAQd3UkFw2q9
189Please respect copyright.PENANAUuX20Irnsb
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。189Please respect copyright.PENANA6nZ3xTB10A
189Please respect copyright.PENANAyNzX21Wxct
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。189Please respect copyright.PENANAfeTaAoc4lG
189Please respect copyright.PENANAUBVd5qZXg5
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。189Please respect copyright.PENANAiqVwen8lyJ
189Please respect copyright.PENANAZN8hwuQiXz
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。189Please respect copyright.PENANAr3uF0x8lQN
189Please respect copyright.PENANA1uEHf27TL5
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。189Please respect copyright.PENANAEl5Zd9I3or
189Please respect copyright.PENANAwhrMeIyvRh
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。189Please respect copyright.PENANAxt45jM7a6u
189Please respect copyright.PENANANHiQIr7EOe
『艾瑪:』189Please respect copyright.PENANAkzhJLFVEog
189Please respect copyright.PENANAkhc9IdNCGp
『來地圖上找我。』189Please respect copyright.PENANAHvxwmG2kzA
189Please respect copyright.PENANAMVwcypmBHe