247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWogz78CsYA
那時，我確實感受到某種真切的絕望與恐懼感。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVD5hN4U9M
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Y01IWEZyy
-247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmR5RYS0Z0
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TxVSUV9i2
人物自是我本人，時間是沒有課的星期三下午，地點是媽媽任教的學校辦公室，物品是主任的一只高級的青瓷花瓶，至於事件……
小玩伴們一口氣跑光了，只剩我還在原地發愣。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ek5iDHeCS
我嘗試冷靜下來，並分析現在的情況，可腦中千迴百轉，嗡嗡聲不絕於耳。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ905QW7JSF4
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TNI7ndyzw
有著某些誰，不斷說著「糟糕了」、「做壞事」、「汙點」、「身敗名裂」等等字詞，我的胸口像往內凹陷了一個深壑，有些呼吸不到空氣。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsHKatGGKq
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59Ftnxzrsh
「怎麼會這樣……」247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvs0vFMSC9N
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MhlwZx0Js
小學三年級的沒事做小孩，就愛坐在有滑輪的椅子上滑來滑去，以為自己在溜冰場，卻忘記空間有限，那聲清脆的「框啷——」可是迴盪於每個人耳中。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNI6wz1kM4
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI14jbKaHte
這情況完全不可逆，彷彿我殺了誰——247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMxq6yjTAE
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2zOdCcvu5
是了，那個花瓶就是我殺死的，散落出的土壤便是流淌一地的鮮血。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI7u183cdd
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoprxgtypQE
剛好大人們都暫時外出的下午辦公室，就成為活生生的作案現場。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sQpbWsQTe
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxbAYYqsnw
-247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQpFSTwhtN
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNb8u887ysz
我盯著花瓶的遺骸，認真想著自己該怎麼辦？247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86o6dIQFQq
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOK9yEGElax
就這麼丟著逃跑吧？不，不行，這樣馬上就會被發現的。快想啊！身為品學兼優、老師小孩、模範乖寶寶、行事秉持完美主義的我，必定能想出解法的吧？247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC4Xv6ljQg
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoErFIMukOh
我用還有點發抖的手把辦公室前後門都拉上、鎖了起來，再小心翼翼而有些費力地拖拉著那只頗有重量、幾乎快與辦公桌等高的長花瓶。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5YPV9Cznq
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiba2G4gDi
我把從中間破掉的花瓶轉九十度後靠著辦公桌，讓沒有裂痕的那一面轉向外頭。因為破裂部分是完整的一大塊而非碎成小片，只要沒人移動，就能抵著辦公桌維持原貌，並將遺落在外的土仔細撿乾淨、鋪回花瓶裡，前後花了約莫半小時「清理現場」，結束後不忘將椅子歸位、清洗雙手。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRJ2vaxe4h
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEnEKdlOtR
-247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sthO8iyzN
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFxSsB06Gp
「沒錯，我處理好了，應該沒問題吧？」我想著。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIiHNIFCsw
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83p2Xp2UBN
但腦袋裡令人不安的嗡嗡聲換成了其它句子，直到離開學校前的那三個小時、在回家的路上都沒有消失。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnrYm08Cxl
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1Np9YBg8Q
「媽咪……」我怯生生開口，迎來詢問的眼神。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxlIamIvbQ
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUehclBDlzQ
——辦公室裡是不是有裝監視器呢？247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJX9AyJBEC
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqvlA3Gfdf
——我會從此被貼上壞小孩的標籤吧？247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzH5PqEa0Ri
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJghgSyVx6
——但被發現的時候又要怎麼圓謊？說我不在有用嗎？如果問了其他人就破功了吧？247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqhAsuE3GO
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILJRlTUifZ
——那個花瓶應該很貴吧？247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uzbrQtSSX
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcOnAGWNZ4
宛如落進幽深山洞，每往裡頭走一步，字句及情境便不斷回放，吞食挖掘著良心與不安。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYhFjZUASu
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WSFyh8z0w
「……沒事。」我選擇壓下淹到喉頭的坦承。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6K9XaKp8r
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6Dz8qGTwj
-247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzucT0iLAe
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDUl9wQypv
坐在公車上搖搖晃晃的腦袋，嘗試把回音從腦袋裡甩去。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYvrMIE6Eh
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaB17oz2t6
雖有些分不清楚，但不管是打破花瓶甚至嘗試掩蓋，從一開始就已經錯了、已經沒有辦法維持完美的樣子了，我選擇讓黑洞擴大，是否為成為一輩子的陰影呢？而我選擇說出來，是否還能得到原諒呢？247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcAP0Z9fFs
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHVUDZbH6I
那時，我確實感受到某種真切的絕望與恐懼感。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHK51DQHHyn
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cYYYQAbWa
-247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGXPVP7AXo
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmJNePxqzJ
「媽咪……」下了公車，向前走了幾步的我停下來，「我……我打破了主任的花瓶，下午的時候。」托出艱難字句的我幾乎要嘔吐出來，頭皮微微發麻。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6Rl6LWCsl
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DjOjzgxxc
「喔？這樣啊。」媽媽看著我，思索道，「這個就是你下午看起來怪怪的原因？」我才發現，原來自己的故作鎮定根本不堪一擊。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzY3aUMg2ki
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3asDn2SBt
「那明天再去跟主任道歉吧。」媽媽說，「至於花瓶……，這兩天再找找哪邊有類似的賠給人家。」247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2mPYYrHDO
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQWOLZ3Ctq
我深深吐出一口氣，選擇面對這個黑洞。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Q9uOlLNqH
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEseGJDS8Rr
隔天，我扭捏地坦承犯行，主任當然沒放在心上，反而只關心我有沒有被碎片弄受傷，連花瓶也擺擺手叫我們不用賠，不過後來媽媽當然還是帶著我找了一只類似的，記得花了兩千元左右。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJEKgZPteT
而先前那些縈繞腦中的聲響與黑洞，也在不知不覺中消失了。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeQ72sduVa
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLz6LY4LJ9
-247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnSfJuP7JL
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYTkeoL7aT
現在想來雖不免一笑，可這事至今我卻仍記憶深刻。247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDEd0r15YK
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiV1ELIbQt
在更後面的求學、工作路上，遇過他人狡辯、曲解、嘲諷、誣陷與不信任，方更深刻體會到，選擇承認錯誤這件事，從來都是不容易的吧。
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76LdkrGhhp
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHoCgJVNFx
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8l0OdpqVhk
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDFq0UstMM
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKm6XLCRsjv
===========247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3o8Dvt7RU9
247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxoWSlWt0u
以上是沒刪減過的原文，精煉內容反而花了比較多時間(汗)
// 原文載於聯合報繽紛版〈選擇的兩難〉主題徵稿 111.05.24247Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOumCD95QUj
and then Add to home screen.