《狂亂文字》號四真永李 2022-04 - 四嚎．永憎你

「我憎恨你！永遠憎恨你！」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJV2APmtPzJ
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneVCtckCu9
衣衫單薄的阿妹無視冷雨紛飛，跑出遮雨簷篷，衝過警方封鎖線，直撲上前搥打我胸膛，拳拳復拳拳，拳拳到肉，拳拳入心。我沒有還手——不打算反抗，而且雙手被手拷反扣在後——默默垂眼看著她雙手沾染我衫上血跡。這時何等奇妙的感覺：父母的血在我和她體內，亦在她手上、我衫上。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRLyPQb3Sc
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXl7kxtZue
附近幾位警員沒有立即阻止阿妹，待她發洩將近十秒、有記者正要舉機拍攝時才拉開她。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqkUswL1zU
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLstrsY2f7
登上警車，我輕問身旁警員：「你們是故意的吧？」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nMEaLvVxd
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ysdTAKdg9
警員目不斜視，對著空氣道：「你殺死父母，是故意的吧？」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ivz8dQrDH

操場上，烈日刺眼，人影紛亂，或逃跑或追趕。兩幫囚犯因私怨扭打起來，其餘局外囚犯連忙依獄警指示離開現場。我混在逃走行列當中，驀地發現走在前方的人正是與我關係不錯的獄友——阿青。靈機一觸，想到一個減刑方法。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUnYntVRkX
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iM9yKkgDR
「他有參與打鬥！」臨近操場出入口，我突然指著阿青呼叫。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGfmoaMexw
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJPZaB4UC2
阿青尚未意會我所指何事，已然被獄警壓制在地。他面帶怯色，嘗試辯解：「冤枉啊！我沒有……」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaj1agIFR8Y
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKalMEMtVxz
「我真的看見阿青參與打鬥！」雖知阿青無辜，但為了建功減刑，我唯有狠下心腸補上一刀：「我平日與阿青關係不錯，沒有冤枉他的理由。」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILfrkLoD5U
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0xxHmBMZt
阿青抬頭望我，似乎明白這是甚麼一回事，瞬間臉容扭曲，極力試圖掙脫獄警。更多獄警上前制伏激動不已的阿青，甚至對他施用棍擊。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59Hqr1BaFJ
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFZ99jv7yU
亂棍之下，頭破血流的阿青咬牙切齒，勉力抬頭怒目瞪著我：「你這忘恩負義的傢伙！枉我在獄中處處維護你，代你吃下不少苦頭！走著瞧！我定會算帳！我不會放過你！我永遠憎恨你！」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmErcPpWucz

狹小房間內，淫穢之聲迴繞不散。在我胯下的年輕小女生或嬌喘或呻吟，胸前兩團白肉隨著抽插節奏晃晃盪盪。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cPKSO55J4
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKXwUzz47X
咔——332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fPU0YY9oi
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnhAQ1IM2s
小女生被房外聲響嚇驚，表情僵住：「客廳有人。」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkwpiQ3SBD
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdFJCZY4VG
「是我妻子。」我處變不驚，繼續重覆腰肢動作。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZnjZ1uITT
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLot8CounrF
「你不怕……」小女生奇怪我的冷靜。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LJGZT0zSn
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFfyLrRCLa
「孕婦，跑不遠、跑不快，怕甚麼？」我伸手微微施力掐住小女生細長白頸，暗示不滿她話太多。也許不安導致情緒緊張，沒多久我倆雙雙高潮完事。小女生沒有洗澡，匆匆收錢離開。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNmyPR4yc2
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOq3OOPaB4
我叼菸走向梳化，在芝芝身旁坐下，安慰道：「放心。金錢交易。不是長期關係。」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCdfcoojkp
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4uknDJMKA
挺著巨肚的芝芝低頭不語，臉色玄青。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQW9Xa6MwZa
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bRFhw6JMn
「沒法子。生理需要。總不能憋住十個月。」我口說得輕鬆，心裡細細數算芝芝跟我多少個年頭。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e9ltNvRTT
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18oIbmH3ZF
至少三十年。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKyvMl4C6f
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHws2QecBu
我們相識於中學三年級，彼此都是十五歲。我當時是小混混，她是不良少女，一拍即合。後來我殺人判囚，幸得減刑出獄。沒能回家。苦惱之際，誰料芝芝主動聯絡，供吃供住，只求與我再續前緣。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyC4ansdFV
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrZMf8IrYb
「我曾為你的付出感動過。奈何純粹的感動無法改變我本性——我天生就是壞人。」我向芝芝坦白感受，不是出於內疚或推卸責任，而是我沒有隱瞞的原因。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohRW0cSEB7
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXrEA2dz1J
「你曾愛我嗎？」芝芝眼眶通紅，忍淚問了一個傻問題。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GKuWrv3gM
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA4Zk9D4hq
「我不知道那是否愛。」我對芝芝沒有愛，但在她身上我感受到何謂愛。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRrgrxl1Jk
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2hnYgjL4O
「你走吧。我和孩子不需要你。」芝芝終於按捺不住，流下兩行清淚，語帶哭腔：「這刻開始，我會開始憎恨你，永遠憎恨你。」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygjdg2Jbp6
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1Yo9VDqHd
「你早該對我死心。」我聳肩表示沒所謂，直接走出大門，離開單位。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtl9x6w2LYC

七十歲的我獨居劏房，不良於行，少有外出，平日依靠社工幫忙購置日用品。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vGkYfXPGT
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12gFi3A1IR
社工是個初出茅廬的年輕人，不知人世險惡，對我毫無戒心。我撒謊說自己被兒女拋棄，她就拿著我提供的假資料尋人。尋人不果就來關心我更多，買來更多物資。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3Hw6HgCFE
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpfUATgqU2
相識之初，我經常在心裡嘲笑她笨蛋。不過隨著相處時間增多，我多次目睹她為我無私付出，不禁開始動容，深切自省。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm2GfqdXaB
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNk6XclyWyG
夜深人靜，流浪狗吠聲忽遠忽近，對面大廈招牌的刺眼強光穿透薄窗簾，在牆上映出花花綠綠迷幻色塊。無眠，憶起很多人，很多我虧欠過的人。爸媽……阿妹……阿青……芝芝……孩子……其實我一直以來知道自己有多壞、多可惡。為何明知故犯？因為我不相信永遠。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvoQ4F2jti
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzE97f1e4Bu
沒有永遠的惡，沒有永遠的愛。只有眼前利益和當刻快感。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rDKhK7TfC
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbHP9iOzh7
我自私？誰不自私？爸媽養兒防老，阿妹需要爸媽供書教學，阿青幫我是貪慕虛榮，芝芝救我是為彌補遺憾。誰沒計算？人人都在計算！332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECoFlGreSO
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLXpPkDO08
感動退散，惡意再生。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInMLvxjdrJ
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hIwH54SEk
缺失很多，要求更多。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXmhSn4V4y
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXJKAz53N0
缺失愛，索求愛。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOLgcVQfuj
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLdUQ2eW2K
變本加厲。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4KGskgDl4
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理所當然。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdevWElGMn
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIIGethBrc
社工說疫情險峻，求助人數激增，難以經常前來探望我。我埋怨她不關心我。她解釋說機構人手資源有限，無法重點照顧我一人。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FCILPCvaw
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEluuRWXyxO
她離開。我撒野：「你偽善！快走！別來！我憎恨你！永遠！」332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqn9d5gXPOQ
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjktuF0mlN
沒有永遠的愛。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8z6LcdVn7
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnehsnuTzQS
缺失愛，索求愛。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgc6vIAJOa
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6p1YdlzZuh
鳳姐索價三百元。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEfE1nYMJK
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlggvY7zej
她有眼前利益，我有當刻快感。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Sp3uhxTaW
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjYKy57vGG
完事。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9bcnY5fiJ
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一切歸空。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3VLCqUbJM
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWMCvpm9gv
理所當然。332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGvkjg5PsD