There's two things that you should know about me. The first thing is that I'm a pretty nice guy. I have no problem wanting to get to know somebody, get lunch with them, or go over to their house and watch Walking Dead, How I Met Your Mother, or whatever TV show that they're really in to. Maybe we can order a few pizzas. Just be sure not to order any mushrooms on the pizza. I hate mushrooms.
The second thing is that I don't watch sports or know anything about sports teams. So if we ever hang out, don't start going on about the Lakers, the Cowboys, or whatever sports team you're into. I'll probably just stare at you awkwardly and immediately try to change the subject.
Now that I got that out of the way, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Alexander Benjamin Cooper V. Or simply Alex Cooper. I've only been back in the Unites States for about two months now, and let me just say...it's been pretty lame. The only place I've been able to find work at is this old and crappy coffee shop that gets about three customers a day. Everybody at work treats me like crap. The customers also seem to treat me like crap. That's a shame, because I'm usually pretty nice to them. I always greet them with the best smile I can give and talk to them very politely. Is my face just ugly looking? Sorry folks, nothing I can really do about that. This was the face I was born with.
Okay, the customers aren't exactly awful to me, but they don't seem to act that pleasant around me either. Anytime I serve them, they just seem to stare at me as if I'm going to pull a knife out on them or try to kill their children. Am I really that intimidating looking? I'm only 5'2 and I'm really scrawny. Is it my hair? Well, my hair is really long and makes me look like a woman from behind, so I guess some people would find that a little weird. Still, it doesn't mean that people should stare at me like Charles Manson had broken out of prison when I hand them their coffee.
Like I said, work sucks. The manager here seemed to think it was a great idea to hire a bunch of the greatest scumbags in the world and think it was a greater to throw me in with them. I don't know, maybe my tiny body and girly hair fits the qualities of a jerk. Everybody shouts at me on a daily basis and treats me like I'm the only one whoever screws up despite the fact that I'm probably the best worker there. No, I'm not bragging about being good at my job. These guys just suck. Customers complain about their coffee tasting like crap all the time and I'm not even the one that makes it. I only serve it.
I don't know, maybe people feel it's easier to mess around with me since I'm the smallest guy at work. I guess it's so easy to joke that I look like a kid working his first part-time job even though I'm actually twenty-eight. If that's the case, then whatever. It's not like I'm not already used to it.
Does my life suck? Honestly, not all that much. I mean, I have had friends before. I had two before I finished high school. I haven't seen or spoken to them since we graduated, but they still existed. I also had plenty of friends before I returned to the US. I was actually married for a good seven years. Sadly, that came to a pretty screeching halt two years ago. Along with a great number of my friendships. I guess you can say my life has slowly been turning to crap in the past two years.
I had hoped things would get better after returning to the States. Well...it has only been a couple of months. Perhaps it's just been a slow start.
Honestly, I could tell things were going to be an issue here in the States ever since the beginning. I had only been back for about three days when I had my first rude awakening. I was out buying groceries in the middle of the night when I ran right in to a pair of six-foot scumbags who demanded that I give them everything I bought. You'd think I'd be pretty intimidated and possibly terrified of these giant ugly apes who both towered over me. Did they get my groceries?
It's a shame that these guys knew nothing about me outside of my tiny body and girly hair. Otherwise, they would know that they were making a huge mistake.
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